Saturday 10 March 2012


After my last post I seemed to be the butt of a bit of toilet humour but the deepest wound was inflicted by a prolific author and altruist I admire who suggested that my effort was not only long, it was shit. Milder wounds were inflicted by a meerkat who used American literary precedence to suggest that not only was I talking shit, I was shit. An antipodean commentator admitted that he had lost interest half way through this alleged verbal shit of mine but for them, when it comes to literature, anything longer than the instructions necessary to inject coins into a vending machine and get a cold tinny out are superfluous and, therefore, shit. And if you ask the maid who had to chuck water down my non flushing dunny, there was nothing fucking alleged about that shit.

I put my heart and soul and just about everything else I could expel through my shredded arsehole into that post and you lot are taking the piss. I mean the shit.

Now I could bleat and whine about how Bloggers are supposed to encourage other bloggers.

But you know that’s not my style.

So, Gentlemen, I hope your next shit is a hedgehog. No need to name you, you'll know who you are in the morning.

Thinking about it, you have been such nice guys so I wouldn't want you to suffer terribly. So stick the band aids and the toilet paper in the fridge. It'll make it easier. Trust me.


  1. Problem with blogging - you expose yourself and some people think it's an excuse for a free hit!

    You should take some comments from regulars with a 'grain of salt' and wait your opportunity to respond in kind - I know I would not take such personally!

    I've eaten a crook fish meal so i DO know what it's like! Good luck mate and I hope you've got this under control now

  2. JohnD, you need to take this post with a HUGE pinch of salt!

    I thought all your comments were amusing. I thought that when I said, I seem to be the BUTT of TOILET humour' you'd realise that what followed was, well, shit!

    Har Har!

    At least I can break wind with confidence today.

  3. And my next post title:


    Actually, you should do that one...

  4. Speaking of bugger, there was that pick up advert in Oz (sorry Ute advert) which ended with the dog missing the back and falling into the mud and saying bugger. I have been looking for that on the internet but just can't find it so if you have a lead, I'd be grateful.


    Try those and follow the links to others!

  6. JohnnyD! You're the shit man!

    What time is where you are? Shouldn't you be in bed?

  7. Hey Tom, so good to see you've got your shit together today. And I've got to tell you that your blog - well that's some good shit right there. Great writing...

    OK, I certainly think we've both shot the shit enough. Time to move on from this crap...

    I'll be looking forward to your next offering. Hope that tide thing is just about done - stay high and dry.

  8. You're shitting me? i thought it was the shit.
    Tom for shits and giggles there's no blogger better.

  9. Buuger, I suppose I now have to get my head round a post entitled Bugger...

    Actually, in this place it shouldn't be too bloody hard.

  10. I enjoy all your posts Tom.

    Even the really shitty ones.


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