A while ago I wrote a for me, fairly typical rambling post in which I mentioned God, the Devil, a Mercedes advert and irritating neighbours before concluding that if one were unwilling to tempt fate, one should drive a BMW.
Right at the end of the post I submitted a photo of what I thought was undeniably the most beautiful sports coupé ever built and I have reposted it above. It happened to be a BMW so suited the purposes of my post. It was also painted in my favourite colour for a car. Not just any car, but a car with the coachwork and lines able to carry it off. Think of Angela Merkel in Pippa Middleton's famous dress and perhaps you will grant me the point.
Those who know me from my younger days may have found it surprising that I would elevate a BMW to 'Most Desirable' status even though I am sure they would concur that the 3.0 CS BMW was, and remains very desirable. My grandfather designed the Mercedes factory in Sindelfingen and as a young lad I had free(ish) run of the factory. He only drove Daimler Benz as the old German diehards called them and I was a Mercedes man too. I even bought a bright red 300SL for my first wife as a salve for her broodiness. It didn't work, she took the car and ran off with a married Aga gas bottle filler from Coalville in Leicestershire and had a kid with him instead. Naturally, I was bloody annoyed but through skillful diplomacy and not a little compassion and understanding, I got her back in the end. She was even polished nicely and had a full tank of petrol. As an aside, while I was back in UK sorting out the divorce, there was an accident at the gas bottling plant and the man who cuckolded me was carted off screaming to the burns unit at Leicester Royal Infirmary, presumably bewildered by how a procedure he had performed daily could go so badly wrong. I have to confess to just a little schadenfreude as I drove the Mercedes back down the M1 towards Dover.
I did own and drive a BMW once but that was by default. Default in the sense that desperate measures were needed to recover from my own stupidity. When I was living in Cape Town, I bought a Ferrari (I had a Mercedes as well I hasten to add so hadn't taken complete leave of my senses). Go onto the internet web thingy and see just how many less than a year old, low mileage Ferraris are up for sale. They should grade car makes by their divorce rates. My first two wives were Ferraris. They were beautiful, very desirable, athletic (sadly not always in my bed), temperamental and badly screwed together. If you want a long term relationship, buy something beginning with 'V'. Volkswagen or Volvo spring to mind.
With no takers for the Ferrari I swapped it for a BMW convertible which, I have to admit, was a much nicer car. Almost anything would have been but if anyone had turned up with the car pictured below, I would have bitten his arm off and regurgitated the ignition keys later.
I leave it to you. Most beautiful and desirable coupé ever: BMW or Mercedes? Both in my favorite colour, by the way…
|Mercedes photos courtesy of Mechatronic Germany. Link on the right hand side of my blog page under 'Toys for Boys'