Saturday 22 February 2014

A Little Out of Joint

I am getting a bit pissed off with falling off ladders.  Still, the work will not complete itself so I have to take my chances balancing on a flimsy Chinese step ladder and trying to hammer nails into unyielding wood.  Next time I fall off, and I have no doubt there will be a next time, I shall try to resist the instinctive urge to stick my hand and arm out to break my fall as landing on it has left me feeling distinctly out of joint.



 
My elbow is a little uncomfortable as a result and I can no longer straighten my arm.  Fortunately, it is my left arm and all I ask of my left hand is to hold the nail steady while I hammer it home so I see no need to inconvenience Marcia by asking her to drive me into town for an X-ray.  A visit to the tailor is also unnecessary as I am adept enough at sewing to shorten my own jacket sleeve should it prove necessary.

Last night as I was sitting behind my laptop talking to my brother in Germany via an unusually well behaved Skype, I received an unexpected visitor which, after circling the room, settled on my laptop keyboard.  The first thing such visitors do when settling down is have a poo but this one, seeing my hands suddenly still, hopped onto my finger.  Well I never!  I thought.

A most welcome surprise visitor, a Collared Dove (Streptopelia roseogrisea)

I used my laptop to take a photo of it fearing that at any second she may take fright but she seemed perfectly content in her new and no doubt unusual surroundings.  I placed her on my printer on top of which lay my old beret into which she settled. 

Alex came in from the shop and I showed him our new guest.

'Can I hold her Daddy?' he asked.

'Don't grab her,' I said, 'just stick your finger out in front of her,'

To his delight (and mine, I love to see him happy), she hopped onto his finger and stayed there.  So I took a photo with my camera.


I left the windows and the doors open all evening.  Occasionally, she went for a little walk all around the house but always came back to my desk where I would pick her up and return her to my beret.

This morning, I made a cup of tea and sat out on the veranda as usual.  As I sipped my tea, she stuck her head out of the open door, saw me and flew up to the veranda rail which she walked up and down cooing away as if having a conversation.  Then, with one last look at me, she said something else and flew off.

I Googled a translation of what she had cooed in parting.  The result came back as:

'Not a good day for climbing ladders.'

41 comments:

  1. We have a pair that seem to live with the chickens. They are amazingly tame, and eat the maize that I give to the hens (along with a thousand sparrows).

    My TV fixer man has also just phoned to say that he's fallen off his ladder, and won't be able to fix my TV reception until next week. Lazy bastard. I told him to pull himself together, and stop moaning. I think my sympathy helped, but he's still refusing to come till next week.

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    1. They eat sparrows! Crikey, no wonder this one turned her beak up at Choc Chip cookies.

      I am hoping that as soon as I have my birds and am scattering feed around, I will attract a whole variety of wild birds.

      French TV men are poufs. Now that I have had a little rest, I am going straight back up the ladder. It's the only way.

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    2. By the way, do you believe in Chaos Theory? John Gray is afraid of heights and finds a sparrow in his loft. I am visited by a dove and fall off my ladder, your TV man falls off his ladder and...? Will a stork do the decent thing and nest on your neighbour's chimney stack smoking him out?

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  2. The land of Hippo is both fraught with peril and magical.

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    1. Yes. When I was an officer in the Army, I am sure the soldiers only followed me out of idle curiosity to see what happened next!

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  3. Hells teeth
    The trauma you put your old decrepit body through would have killed a weaker man years ago!
    How's the carcass coping without whiskey tom?

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    1. Fine, except I keep falling off ladders. When I was pissed, I knew better than to climb them in the first place.

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    2. You certainly looks fresher faced

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    3. It was Friday, I had just had my weekly wash.

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  4. Fascinating story about that dove. He must have been someone's pet. I can't imagine a wild animal just jumping on your finger like that. I have about 25 Morning Doves that visit every day. Even though I feed them they are nowhere near as tame though. I am not going anywhere near a ladder, that's for sure. Keep the bad JuJu in Africa where it belongs. I expect by now you will have performed surgery on that elbow with a butter knife knife. Note to self; Be careful those parts are not replaceable.

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    1. I very much doubt it had been someone's pet. They are a delicacy here and no one keeps animals unless they are going to eat them. They like to settle on roads and many get splattered by vehicles. I think this one had a bump and was disorientated when it flew into the house. Realising it wasn't in danger, it settled down for the night and flew off again in the morning. Still, it was ever such a nice visit!

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  5. You charmed the bird right out of the tree. Mine like cracked corn.

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    1. Just finished the roof netting of the bird coop. I have visitors tomorrow so I will finish the sides on Monday. Then I will be ready for my birds. Hopefully I can charm them into laying eggs!

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  6. ouch....the elbow looks nasty! wild animals in your house? you'd think you live in africa or something! hmmmm....my husband is outside on a ladder right now. i guess i should go and have a look.

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    1. Only hurts when I larf. The house is often full of kids so I am used to dealing with wild animals. If your old man is up a ladder, try appearing suddenly and bang two dustbin lids together. That's usually good for a laugh as well!

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  7. Well if something like that was going to happen to anyone it would be you! in fact I'm more surprised that the bird didn't poo on you than the fact you fell off a ladder!

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  8. Love the bit about the bird.

    However, and isn't there always a however (sometimes I wish I had the strength to keep my mouth shut): For someone who defused landmines I find it rather odd that you are incapable of not falling off a ladder. It's crap, Tom. Get your brother to send you some of the best of German engineering instead of making a martyr to the cause of yourself.

    Greetings, and, no, I am not your mother,
    U

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  9. the bird was lovely...the arm not so much...

    Do you have a bone adjuster there? Someone who could give it a good yank and pop it back into place? That and a little duct tape should do you well...and a fiberglass ladder...

    Played volleyball with a young girl (outside hitter) back in my younger days. Her shoulder would always pop out at the oddest times. We all got good at popping it back in for her - involved her laying down courtside, and two people - one to hold the shoulder joint and the other to "pop" it back in...ah, good times...

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    1. I think it just took a bit of a knock and swelled up. It is fine now.

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  10. Maybe you should be playing Snakes and Ladders as a board game, but if I remember correctly the ladders are supposed to take you up and the snakes down.

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  11. Injuries to elbows can turn nasty so watch what develops there carefully. even if it is only your left arm, arms are important and hard to go without !!
    Extraordinary behaviour of that dove !

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    1. Swelling is all but gone now! I saw the dove sitting on the veranda again this morning, once again unperturbed as I watered the plants.

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  12. We have zebra doves:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zebra_Dove
    here, which strangely enough have nothing to do with Africa. They are inquisitive little blighters, and although that is quite endearing, their cooing is very tiresome, (and loud), which has required some strict (!) measures in the past:
    http://corcol.blogspot.com/2012/02/ufos.html

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    1. In the morning I have birds tapping the glass of the windows which is a nice alarm call.

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  13. A few years ago, a bird flew down my chimney, into the house, sat on the recliner, and pooped. I escorted him out.

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    1. I'd need a rest and a poop if I fell down a chimney!

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  14. That little bird must have been one of the easiest to accommodate house guests you have had yet.
    I recently received an e-mail funny with pictures of blokes balancing precariously on ladders. Didn't recognise you in any of them though. Are you open to receiving such funnies?

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    1. A very pleasant visitor! Sadly my internet connection means I tend to discourage emails with attachments.

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  15. I'm beginning to wonder how you have lived so long, your the most accident prone guy I know....lol, I hope you get well soon mate, as an army officer I dont think I would have followed you......lol, an insubordinate SNCO....lol

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    1. Believe me, you'd have given in to curiosity in the end!

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  16. Nice story and lovely ending. By the way - looking at your picture - I think those dark earrings really suit you. Where did you get them from? Can I buy some online - oh do tell Mr Male Fashion Guru!

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    1. Some people grow potatoes behind their ears, I grow runner beans,

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  17. Lovely...what a terrific thing to happen. You are definitely odd when it comes to getting health things sorted...can't think why a trip to the clinic is not top of the agenda myself. But then I'm a wimp...

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    1. Perhaps it has something to do with the medical services here?

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  18. I love doves, they are sweet little birds. We see lots of mourning doves at our feeders.

    Also, our local pet store sells collared doves for pets.

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    1. As I said, hopefully once I start scattering feed around, I'll have many more of them visiting.

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  19. So, how do you prefer your dove: pan fried or braised in red wine?

    Lucky you didn't land on your head. You would have broken the floor!

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    1. Definitely braised so the flesh just falls off the carcasses into a luscious sauce!

      I think it was my head hitting my elbow as I landed that did the damage...

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Please feel free to comment, good or bad. I will allow anything that isn't truly offensive to any other commentator. Me? You can slag me without mercy but try and be witty while you are about it.