Wednesday 30 April 2014

Bloody Typical

In an emergency, I would expect God to throw up all sorts of obstacles to its resolution.  This is, after all, His job.  He must ensure that our faith is regularly tested by visiting upon us disease, disaster, pestilence and war,

I was not the least bit surprised, therefore, when Marcia rang the bank to arrange a withdrawal of hard currency from our US Dollar account so I had some road money to take with me tonight and the bank said, 'Sure, no problems, you can have it tomorrow.'  I sighed, rang up my mate and he gave me a bung of ten grand, the maximum Angolan currency laws allow me to take out of the country.

I was only vaguely bored rather than irritated when God made British Airways tell Marcia that there were no seats left on the aircraft.  I rang up my brother in Germany and he booked me a seat on line which Marcia was able to collect from the BA offices here.

So, I have cash, I have a seat on the plane and Micky is already in London waiting to pick me up.  I am ready to go.  Micky tells me there is a tube strike.  I don't care, I find taxis far more comfortable.  Apparently all the hotels are full.  No problems, he put up at my club and I will be staying in a different kind of hotel.

I went to bed last night confident I had all the bases covered.  Being a tight bastard I bitterly resent a simple boil costing the family so much money and inconvenience but am looking forward to being able to visit my aged grandmother in Baden-Baden once I get out of hospital.  I love her dearly and have not seen her in over five years.  I cannot think of a nicer place to recuperate than the Black Forest in May.  Both Dominic and Alex were very concerned at the thought of me having to travel to Europe for treatment and have given me a list of the things they would like me to bring back for them.

While I was sleeping, God was scheming.

I woke up this morning and felt great.  The antibiotics have clearly kicked in and arrested the spread of the infection.  I was actually able to walk unaided out onto the veranda and see how my neglected plants were getting on.  Now that I have lashed out all that money, now that I am committed to going, God has made me start to heal, taking away the need to go.  How's that for a sense of humour?

My upper left thigh.
Believe it or not, this looks much better.


57 comments:

  1. Just bite the bullet and get on with it man! Your health is by far the best currency your family need.

    LLX

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  2. Safe travels Tom! Enjoy your brief stay in the homeland, get better, and get back to Marcia and the boys! We'll be thinking of you.

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  3. I'm not all that squeamish, Tom. But you finally made me gag. Just what part of your anatomy IS that? Is this infection a backlash from the snakebite? I do hope UK hospital can do you up quickly and get you back home. Angola wouldn't be the same without you. BLOGland wouldn't be the same without you! Prayers....

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  4. Well I think that photo is bad enough to take action. Good call to get proper medical help. We are all with you in spirit Hippo. Please tell Marcia that she is in our thoughts and prayers too. Take care.

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  5. That's a wound and a half - it's not even clear where on your body it is, even though you've said!

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  6. I cannot fathom that that is "better". Safe travels and best of luck!

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  7. Ugh! I watch anatomy dissections all the time, research disease for fun, and that made me scroll very VERY fast. I wish you safe travels and a speedy recovery, and selfishly I hope you continue blogging from the Black Forest!

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    1. ps I did a healing meditation for you. Can't hurt right?

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  8. Gosh I don't mean to frighten you but I think there's an alien trying to burst out from that wound. Never mind the bank, call Sigourney.

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  9. That is really quite yukky, and it must HURT ! Is it your knee? Difficult to tell from that pic. Get well soon in sunny London…though I think we have rain tomorrow. X

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  10. So I'm reading your new post thinking, "Well, he's back to feeling much better -- I can hear the health in his voice" and ran smack-dab into that photograph. Ugh! Yuck! Eeeewww! and other expressions of complete dislike.

    Do get completely well very soon. Maybe God also arranged this nice trip to England and Germany just so you can see your brother and your grandmother. Also, you are very fortunate (I would have said blessed but that might be going a bridge too far) to have a mate who can give you ten thousand dollars on five minutes' notice.

    We will all be thinking of you while you are away, and also of Marcia, Dominic, and Alex. I do hope you continue to blog throughout the entire experience.

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  11. Note to self: Do NOT eat breakfast while reading Tom's blogs.

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  12. As ever, glad I'd finished my lunch before I started this....

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  13. UFFF!!! Tom, that has to be one of the grossest things I have seen. How the heck did that get so bad? Time to lay of the smokes and let you immune system recuperate enough so you can heal.

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  14. Hoping you are sorted out and on the mend asap xxx

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  15. are you sure they will let you into the country with that? damn man, that is nasty! wear the long pants!

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  16. Jeez, that's impressive. If I were you, I'd get on that plane PDQ and head for some decent treatment in old Blighty followed by lashings of Schwarzwaelderkirchtorte in the Black Forest.

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  17. Oh heavens, how do you do it? That is one very gross .... Leg ? Whether it is better or not you obviously need a break. Can this be a spinoff from the snake bite do you think? A visit to your Gran sounds like it would be beneficial too. Get well soon.

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  18. I've been reading you for ages, Months; a year maybe. I sat here one day and read for 6 hours straight. I've never commented before, but suddenly feel compelled to. GET ON THAT EFFING AEROPLANE. Sending you my best wishes and a whole heap of good vibes. x

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  19. Dear Mr. Tight Bastard--We are all heaving a collective sigh of relief that you looked over your gardens and then got on the plane. Don't tell us you didn't, because your wife, your kids, your brother and your grandmother have as much invested in this as you do. Keep the laptop handy and all the best for your recovery.

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  20. For fucks sake ...it does look a tiny bit more improved
    Mind you the last photo looked like a shark had bitten you
    This roller coaster ride is no good for my nerves

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  21. Get the heck out of here! A co-worker had an infected leg and spent 4 days in a Luanda hospital. When they told him they might have to amputate he booked a flight on the next plane out of the country. Today he's walking with both legs after getting the RIGHT meds in the US. The antibiotics he received in Luanda were so weak they weren't doing anything. Looking forward to another Fort Hippo visit when you return, healed....

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  22. Did you really refer to that carnage as "a simple boil"? You are a real stubborn old git but still can throw in a bit of shock value with an up close version of the day after the chainsaw massacre. Glad that you are finally getting the help you need. Safe travels, please do not hold back on the photos!!!! Marilyn

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  23. Looks like it has all been said that needs saying. Get the treatment, visit the family European branch) and get back to your home in one piece. Good luck.
    K.

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  24. Holy Sh17 Batman! I didn't even ask again for a picture of the toe. Geezus. Your are going to be on antibiotics for a long time. What the hell happened? it looks like a sinus the way it is so big. to put a good spin on it, your lucky maybe that it isn't one between your butt cheeks getting a sinus there is awful. Ive seen pictures if that holy moly

    What do you think they will do? cut it out clean it up, stitch what they can back together once the swelling has gone down?

    Anyways get on the plane. Get to the hospital. Good luck, we want updates! maybe not pictures...

    Yoghurt knitter

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  25. All a clever ploy to facilitate bringing a Moto Guzzi into the country in the guise of mobility transport for the medically impaired. Ten grand should just about do it.

    Norman

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  26. Just get on the bloody plane! XXXXXXX

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  27. Is that a baby bird or a snake emerging from the hole in your thigh? Whatever it is, you need expert medical help to get it back in its lair. That's not a good look for an upper thigh - not a good look at all.

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  28. Flesh removal to rid infected tissue left open to heal from inside out (wound care will be important), iv antibiotics and rest, rest and more rest. I once cared for a friends' football sized open wound from a spider bite no less. Three changes of gloves for each cleaning and packing wound with gauze. You have to do what they say, Tom. It will heal wonderfully and quickly if you do exactly what they tell you. Believe it or not, that football sized wound filled in nicely and painlessly. Best wishes for a speedy recovery.

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  29. Tom, that is frightening. I hope you're about to get some excellent medical attention.

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  30. Bloody hell Tom; it looks bloody awful. Get on that plane PRONTO.

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  31. Go to London as fast as you can. That ( as mentioned by all) is NOT good.
    Take care.

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  32. Oh Heavens above....put a plaster on that Man!

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  33. The mind boggles as to what it looked like at its worst.

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  34. Sorry buddy but I think you should go on.. That is horrible

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  35. you old tight git, get on that plane and get it sorted!

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  36. Dear Tom...Just another American reader wishing you all the best in your recovery. The additional blessing of seeing your family should be of immense help in recovery of all sorts. Be well and know there are many people literally around the world hoping for your improved health and a small break from the pressures of living your everyday life! Leslie

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  37. You should be on your way now. Why the hell did you let it go so bloody far? It's not like it's just a toe you can do without.
    I wish you well!

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  38. I do hope you got on the plane, made it all right to Old Blighty, and are now on the mend. You can't leave us all hanging about that Christmas when you were in the army with the war games.

    Even if you're on the mend, a trip to see your gran would be a good thing, methinks.

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  39. A GENERAL COMMENT TO ALL

    I spoke to Tom this morning; he's in a hospital in London, and today he's having some of the manky bits trimmed out ... obviously once he's stopped charming the nurses with tales of his various infections. He's in good spirits, although he's declined morphine, which is obviously a bit wasteful! Anyway, he just wanted people to know that he's not legless.

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    1. thanks for the update, much appreciated (I do hesitate to refer to you as "the idiot").

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    2. Good news, and thanks for the update.His readers and friends from all over the world are wishing him well.

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    3. Thanks. I'm glad to hear he got on the plane, is getting the treatment he needs and will continue to get around on two legs.

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    4. Yes, thanks for the update.Those manky bits definitely needed trimming!! Get well soon Tom XX

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    5. Thanks for the update! Iirc, Tom's body doesn't like morphine (allergic reaction). Glad to hear he's not legless in any sense of the word!

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  40. I'm glad to hear that you may be on the mend. I looked up airline tickets to London, and they are a bit out of my range, so I am sorry I couldn't make it out there to visit.

    Good luck, Tom. We are thinking about you.

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  41. Thank you for the update!

    I hope that Tom reads that everyone is wishing a speedy recovery!

    Regards from a reader that already lived im Angola - and survived:)
    Angela

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  42. Thank goodness he's getting the treatment he so clearly needs. He'll be chasing nurses in no time! He certainly loves to push his wounds to the limit.

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  43. Thanks for the update!

    He really should accept the morphine. Pain doesn't do anyone any good.

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  44. So glad to hear you are ok and getting some treatment.
    take care of yourself and hope to hear from you soon
    Sue

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  45. I suspect as an ex-alcoholic he would be wary of accepting another addictive drug into his system.
    Wishing you well, Tom. Have patience and let the doctors do their work so that you are once again fit and well.

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  46. Take the meds and the doctors advice. The best advice I ever had from a doctor when feeling unwell was going to bed early with a hot nurse :)
    Good luck.

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  47. Right, a bit more of an in-depth Tom update here: http://bit.ly/1jcLboy

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    1. Thanks for the update! Glad to hear that Marcia is headed to London to be with Tom. Will Alex be going too?

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    2. Have just read your update, Thanks for that. Should one have the time etc, is he up for visitors?

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  48. Just read the update... the blooming lengths some folk will go to to get a dose of sympathy...

    LLX

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  49. Dear Tom, Wishing you all the best for a speedy recovery. I have enjoyed reading your blog for a good while now..you make me laugh out loud..Such an interesting life!! Get Well!!

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Please feel free to comment, good or bad. I will allow anything that isn't truly offensive to any other commentator. Me? You can slag me without mercy but try and be witty while you are about it.