I went to switch the oven on to preheat it and heard the unmistakable loud PFUUT of electrical wires shorting. We live in a wooden house and having once been contracted by Norsk Hydro to investigate the causes of a fire that completely destroyed one of their residences here in Luanda, I am almost paranoid about earth leakage protection. Next to my generator is a sturdy copper rod that has been driven deep into the water table and all the earth circuits are connected to that. So, instead of the shorting oven setting fire to my house, the main board tripped plunging me into darkness leaving me with a number of choices.
I could slice the leg of pork up and fry it. I could stick it back into the fridge until I had sorted out the oven or bought a new one if it was really stuffed. Or I could grill it. I really wanted pork crackling so I decided to grill it and, perhaps because of all the extra attention it received, it came out fantastic.
This morning I pulled out the oven from its housing and started to dismantle it. I had switched it off but had not disconnected it from the mains as I wanted to use a multi-meter to check the circuits. As I lifted the back panel off I noticed a cable completely devoid of insulation. Ah, I thought, an earth cable and grabbed it to move it out of the way. The lights went out again and Marcia hurried over to see why I had suddenly launched myself from one side of the room to the other. With the main board tripped I figured it was safe for me to investigate further. First thing I noticed was that all the heat insulation had been chewed to heck. Then I noticed all the cables that had been chewed as well.
'Rats', I told Marcia, 'rats have been living in our oven.'
Marcia was appalled. I wasn't too chuffed either.
In disaster lies opportunity. It won't be long before rats start invading our new home. The temporary accommodation we had just vacated was infested with them at one time. They chewed every cable, nearly caused two fires and stank the place out. Marcia laid enough poison to kill a city, all to no avail and then I started introducing snakes into the room. Marcia was not happy about that but within a couple of weeks, we saw not hair nor hide of any rat.
Now I could have told Marcia the truth, that this was not recent, that the rats had attacked our oven while it was in storage and had long since left. But I didn't. I looked at her standing there striking a B movie horror film pose and said, 'I think I need to catch some snakes'.
'Oh please no!' she implored, 'I can put down poison.'
'Marcia,' I crooned, 'it didn't work in the last place but the snakes certainly did,' I added.
I settled down to rewire the oven and decided that as soon as my snake bitten foot had healed, I would be off on a snake hunt.
|The lounge in the cottage |
Once I have built a few more of these, you can rent them to rest in after spending the day sport fishing the Atlantic
|Marcia praying at the Altar of Ice Cream.|
With such a short skirt and shapely legs spread wide, I am sure the machine will give her a good squirt.
|Inside the shop, the boring section|
|The interesting section, all the booze! (look beyond the fruit juice rack)|
|Front view of the shop. The temporary fence will be replaced with a smart one soon.|
|Another view of the shop|
|The cottage. Soon I will start irrigating the land and planting a lawn.|
|Cottages under construction at the restaurant site|
|A right mess now but pretty soon it will all be cleaned up and organised|
Notice extensive use of Cro Magnon orange
|Bandit. It didn't take Alex long to work out how to pour himself and his friends an ice cream.|
He thinks that by hiding under the shop his larceny will go unnoticed.