Friday 16 August 2013

Internet is sort of on again...

I owe a lot of people replies,  I will get round to it.  I spent the day unloading a generator from a truck that dug itself in meaning we had to dig it out again and then had to unload another truck loaded with wood for the new huts on my other piece of land.  My heart feels as if it is about to burst out of my chest.  The pain is intense and reaches all the way across my chest, down my left arm and right to the top of my head.  I think my left eyeball is about to burst.

So I am going to have a fag and a whisky, dose myself up with Inderal tablets and a squirt or two of Nitrrolingual and go to bed and hope I get a few hours decent kip before Cro Magnon and the other seniors boot me out of bed to give me a good kicking for blubbing in the dorm.

25 comments:

  1. If you have some aspirin take 300mg
    Now tom

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  2. Ditto the aspirin. I suppose a visit to a good doctor is out of the question?

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  3. 100 lines Hippo 'I must not lift heavy generators off trucks'.

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  4. Well, Tom, as news go you have outdone yourself. Maybe you wouldn't mind letting your fan club know (asap) whether you did wake up again. It's 0726 hrs here, same as Angola.

    U

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  5. Gosh! I am awake!

    I missed the tip about the aspirin, John, but I shall get some in for the next time. On bad days Marcia makes me an infusion from some local herb which tastes incredibly bitter but seems to do the trick. Thanks for everone's concern,

    I must not lift heavy generators off trucks
    I must not lift heavy generators off trucks
    I must not lift heavy generators off trucks
    I must not lift heavy generators off trucks
    I must not lift heavy generators off trucks
    I must not lift heavy generators off trucks
    etc.

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  6. You bloddy bugger, the last thing we all want is for you to croak... so blooming BEHAVE!

    LLX

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    1. When you say, 'behave', does that mean no more drinking, fighting and chasing after women of less than strict moral virtue?

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    2. Right in one Hipp... your organs just aren't going to hold up at this rate.

      LLX

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  7. For goodness sake man.......if you don't look after you who will look after Alex?....not my business I know but think on!

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  8. Relieved to hear that you are OK. I'm feeling like death warmed up today, but that's as a result of too much alcohol and drinking late with my brother and his middle son. Doing absolutely nothing today would be the ideal remedy, but unfortunately cousins are a about to decend for lunch. Although a hair of the dog would make that more tolerable, I think I'll stick to water.

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    1. Water is a fluid one uses to brush one's teeth with.

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  9. Suggest a fork lift..or some additional help from elsewhere next time...

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    1. I thought I had it covered with a damn great truck and crane but you are correct, I forgot the forklift and a bunch of pressed natives.

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  10. It probably wasn't that heavy...

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    1. Only 863 kgs. You are right, I am a wuss.

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  11. How did you get on with finding a chef? I wonder if you've considered contacting Jamie Oliver at his 'Fifteen' restaurant, where he trains-up young cooks and sends them around the world.

    Have a look at his site www.fifteen.net You could always take one on as an apprentice, and you'd have the 'kudos' of having a JO trained chef.

    Just an idea.

    His home address is Thurrocks Farm, Clavering, Essex.

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    1. Cro Mag, you got this all wrong (for the first time as far as I am aware): Do you seriously think that our very own Hippo would take 'kudos' for having a "JO trained chef"? More likely to kick the shit out of him. And retrain.

      Anyway, just in case you haven't followed the story line: There are only three chefs Tom is interested in: Hugh F-W, Anthony Bourdain and my sister.

      U

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    2. That's a brilliant lead, Cro. I can't tell you how pleased I am with it. I will follow it up immediately. This could be great on so many levels and give the youngsters a chance to do their six month's out in a completely diferent environment. They'd only be working weekends, the rest of the time they can fish, sunbathe, do whatever they want and still earn a decent tax free wage.

      Sometimes you really come up with them, Cro. Brilliant ideas I mean.

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    3. U, who is Anthony Bourdain?

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    4. Dear Bitch (I hope you don't mind me calling you that).

      You'd be amazed by how people react to the JO name. Personally I think he's slightly beyond his 'sell by date', but to others he is still a god. Hippo could still give him a good kicking, in a polite Gordon Ramsey kinda way, and teach him not to be too bloody messy (a la JO).

      I think if word was put about, people would flock; my son even goes to JO's dad's place.

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    5. Dear Cro Mag, you may call me Bitch. That comes from being knighted. You can't choose your own credentials. Though the correct address, should you ever write to me on paper, is: Ursula, Her Bitchy Lowness Riding High. On leaving your visiting card you may bear me a Magnum or two. I might find favour with you.

      I will confess that among the food porn on my shelves (six foot tall), B&Q unvarnished, you will find Jamie Oliver. Jool's, his wife, braised beef to die for. Jamie was/is a sweet boy. Now he's growing into a man he needs someone to wipe his brow.

      Don't believe a word about Gordon Ramsay. Sure, judging by that dimple on his chin he is hell's bells bent on releasing a temper. But, like with so many who bark, he forgets to bite. That's why I keep three pieces of driftwood close to hand.

      Your son goes to JO's dad's place? What? To eat?

      U

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  12. He may come across as the boy most likely to have been slapped by his seniors at school but his heart is in the right place. In addition, my restaurant needs to serve his style of good, honest food rather than Michelin starred chic. What I really like about JO though, is the fact he is willing to put the hours in helping youngsters.

    How much use a JO trained chef would be to me is debatable. He would not be able to communicate with any of the other staff, he would have to overcome a huge culture shock and although life by a beach sounds idyllic, it is actually quite boring for a young man. Or woman. He, or she, would have to get used to a 100 mile round trip to the city to buy the produce neccessary. For the right person, though, it would be an adventure, especially if I drag in the carcass of a gazelle and tell him, or her, to gut, skin and butcher it.

    As I said earlier. I think Cro's idea was a flash of brilliance and I am giving it serious consideration. Since I will only be serving food at weekends, maybe my neighbour would be interested in JO's protege training his chefs during the week.

    There is the possibility of turning the Barra de Kwanza into a centre of culinary excellence. Loads of people will come, my neighbour and I would need to employ more staff, the community would benefit. In addition, the JO protege would learn all about African cuisine expanding the palete of culinary flavours and techniques available to him.

    I am giving this some serious consideration.

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    1. And so you should [give it some serious consideration]. Should you need help in the human resources department I am more than willing to help you to sift the grain from the shaft bending in the wind.

      U

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    2. I'd cook for you, but I fear we'd get fuck all done!

      Send JO a link to your blog! He'd shit himself.

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Please feel free to comment, good or bad. I will allow anything that isn't truly offensive to any other commentator. Me? You can slag me without mercy but try and be witty while you are about it.