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| 'Too Risky' Fifteen years after I last saw it, the very first boat I bought in Angola pitches up in my yard! God did I have some fun skiing behind that! |
Dominic is on his way today after spending the holidays with me.
It was
great. We went fishing, swimming in
Rico’s pool, more fishing, went bird watching, more fishing, collected and
delivered water to the locals, more fishing, went out plinking crabs with an
air rifle, did some more fishing, you get the idea. We like fishing, by the way.
Understandably,
he is a bit sad. Right now he is sitting
in front of the TV waiting for the car to come and get him. He told me that he had enjoyed a great
holiday. I corrected him by pointing out
that WE had enjoyed a great holiday. I
am sad too.
I think the
best bit for him was the unexpected arrival of the Scouts. Here, scouts and scoutesses all mix in
together so when he received an invite to come over for lunch on the beach with
them, he leapt at the opportunity taking little Alex with him. They are the friendliest bunch of young
people anyway but since Dominic and I were now delivering clean water to them
as well as stuff from the shop at cost to save them having to resupply from
town, they were falling over themselves to be nice. I told the Scout Master (would that be
Akela?) that once I had my restaurant land leveled and since his troop were so
well behaved and polite, in future he could camp on my land and enjoy access to
the facilities. I gave Dominic my pocket
book on Knots and Splices by Cyrus L Day years ago and quite by chance he had
it with him. Having become quite adept,
he gave lessons in tying knots which, let’s face it, is an essential badge to
earn as a scout and earned him many an admiring glance.
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| How's that for a neat way to tie a bottle carrier? No wonder the girls were impressed with Dominic's knots |
On their
last night here they had a beach barbecue and invited Dominic. He is not quite fourteen but is as tall as an
eighteen year old and very mature. I
know that some of the scoutesses (some of them as old as 21 so legal game for
me as well) had their eyes on him.
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| Scoutesses. Every sleeping bag should come equipped with one |
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| It's not me she's looking at with 'Come To Bed Eyes', it's Dominic behind the camera |
But what if
he had fallen into the sea and no-one had noticed? What if he had left for home in the dark and
been knocked down and was lying in agony in a ditch wondering when his Dad
would miss him and come looking for him?
What if this scout troop was the troop from hell and had introduced my
son to pot and free sex (in which case why wasn’t I invited?).
At 23.30 I
was still dithering when Dominic walked in.
‘Have a
good time, Son?’ I asked, feigning nonchalance.
‘Dad! It is
brilliant! They invited me to sleep over
but I told them I really should be getting back or you would be worried’
‘I wasn’t
worried Son, I trust you and I am VERY pleased you came back before midnight,
this makes me trust you more. Would you
like to grab your toothbrush and nip back?’
‘DAD CAN
I? CAN I REALLY!!!’
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| Woggles, toggles and boggles. In order of increasing seniority left to right |
‘See you in
the morning Son’ I said and then, sotto voce, muttered a fervent prayer at his
rapidly receding back, ‘hope you get laid!’ and went to switch the generator
off.
Splendid! If holidays didn't end then they also couldn't begin, so half of the fun would be lost.
ReplyDeleteIncidentally, my father introduced me to the art of knot-tying. But then I suppose he was the part-time Regimental Hangman, so no great surprise there.
As I have explained repeatedly to various magistrates and judges the land over; I was never officially in the scouts in question and this conviction is a travesty.
Sir Owl,
ReplyDeleteI was expelled from the Cubs on my first night and my father was so outraged having invested in a new uniform, woggle and toggle that he made me wear it as general purpose clothing until I was fifteen years and eight months old whereupon the Quarter Master of the military school he sent me to took pity on me and issued me a uniform that was two sizes to big for me allowing my voice to finally break.
I guess this is the difference from having a son to having a daughter. I can't imagine I'm ever going to say those words!
ReplyDeleteDo you think that any spotty faced youth would mess with Big Don Alviti's daughter? About as dangerous as sticking yer dick in a bacon slicer I would have thought...
DeleteI agree with Don Kev.
ReplyDeleteCome on Megan, the girls were all between 18 and 21 so he wouldn't have been breaking any laws and besides, I taught him to ride a Yamaha motorcycle aged 4, he could drive my Range Rover by the time he was 9 and he can now drive my truck. This would be just another challenge he would have to rise to!
DeleteYou're tempting me to become an Angolan Scout. My youngest son was a Cub, but when he became old enough to become a Scout, I said NO (Scout masters in the UK have a reputation). I'm beginning to like the sound of Angola.
ReplyDeleteYou could give the body painting lessons on the beach...
DeleteUnder that curmudgeonly exterior there beats a heart of a loving father; it's very endearing. And may the fruit of your loins see you grow old enough to understand it. (The Underminer.)
ReplyDeleteBah! Humbug! Boys don't need love, they need discipline! He is nearly fourteen so I will be sending him to that prep school in Guantanamo Bay, they even supply the uniforms.
DeleteI wasn't thinking about the law breaking; i just know that if i were involved in a coed sleeping situation at 14, my father would NEVER mutter those words.
ReplyDelete