Tuesday, 22 January 2013

Testing Time

How to test the structural integrity of a replaced joist and a bar counter in a thatched building destined to be a restaurant.

Step one:  Call in the finest structurally engineered engineers available



Have them conduct a load test on the bar counter.



Next check the clearance between the counter and the joist.



Check that the joist is correctly seated.



And check the counter is free of splinters.

 
Ensure the height of the counter leaves everything within easy reach.
 
 
It's a tedious job I know but an HSE requirement in order to get my Building Certificate.  Another tick in the box.

10 comments:

  1. Given the strenuous testing I feel perfectly safe. I was going to volunteer to provide further H&S training to your operatives but alas I'll have to leave that in your capable hands
    SBW

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    Replies
    1. This is the problem, EssBeeDoubleU, no one wants to help me so I have to do all this shit by myself. Don't they realise men get tired as well?

      Delete
  2. Hmm, that's a lot of wood they're testing for rigidity. They look well-trained, but do they have the required licenses?

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  3. Good god man; I haven't had my breakfast yet!

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    Replies
    1. Sorry about that. I hope it at least improved your appetite.

      Delete
  4. It's a hard life meeting regulations, but at least you had such qualified testers to hand.

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  5. Counter, Joist and Splinter.

    The ladies on your side of town sure have some sexy names...

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    Replies
    1. Those were their names? I was so distracted I forgot to ask.

      Delete
  6. Those workmen look awfully like young ladies.

    ReplyDelete

Please feel free to comment, good or bad. I will allow anything that isn't truly offensive to any other commentator. Me? You can slag me without mercy but try and be witty while you are about it.