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| A Geeky Goggler (I still wouldn't crawl over her to get to YP though) |
If
technology wasn't already intrusive enough, I now read that Google Glasses
(they really do beg to be called Google Goggles and the twerps who wear them,
Gogglers, don’t they?) will soon have a facial recognition application
installed. This application would allow
Gogglers to scan Google’s extensive database and identify any stranger they
meet and learn anything about them that Google has on file.
Ace,
absolutely bleeding ace. I am SO looking
forward the first smug bastard Geeky Googly Goggler that comes up to me and says,
‘Oi, you’re
Hippo! I know all about you!’
So I can
have the satisfaction of telling them a couple of seconds later:
‘Good. Then you won’t have been too surprised about
that then!’ having planted my fist right between their Goggly Googly eyes.
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| Please insert donations to the Church in the back pocket provided. All alcoholic beverages must be surrendered to the Pastor on arrival in church. Oh, and he's running short of fags as well if those seeking absolution can take a hint. Virgins seeking conversion should form an orderly queue outside the confessional. |
To tell you the truth, I might bag myself a pair of those special specs as all my life I have had a problem remembering people's names. I'll be introduced to someone new and thirty seconds later their name has vanished from the old grey matter. Good luck in your new role as pastor of the temperance church - you'll bloody need it!
ReplyDeleteGood luck I'll need it? Only if they raid the confessionals.
DeleteMr. Hippo, you running scared that your hard man act might be seen through by the appliance of science, in the form of Google glasses? Thou doth protest too much, methinks.
ReplyDeleteLLX
You don't need science my little vegetable, a Mark I Eyeball would work in my case.
DeleteI think we're on the same page here then! I'll just keep trying not to go to public places if I can help it and avoid running into people like this!
ReplyDeleteApparently there are electronic counterneasures available which jam signals in the area around you rendering the glasses inoperable in your presence. A rather more subtle approach to the problem than mine.
DeleteA new army of Luddites (Goggites?) is needed, methinks. This is Big Brotherism gone too bloody far!
ReplyDeleteIt is ludicrous, isn't it? Fortunately, it will be a while before they work here.
DeleteKnowing Google's amateurish approach I have no doubt that the face-recognition will work only if someone is NOT wearing Goggle-Googles! There will thus be an entire generation of Gogglers who don't recognise each other. Still, I wonder if at least these Googgles will get people looking back up again as they walk instead of down to an "iFone".
ReplyDeleteThere's a google street view navigation application as well so hopefully many of the users will blindly walk off cliffs or into rivers.
DeleteI want to be there when you do that...the first, second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth time, etc, etc I'll cheer you on
ReplyDeleteYou should not encourage me. I am trying so hard to get clean.
DeleteAll recent photographs of me at weddings, parties or anything have shown me scowling whilst growling 'If you put me on Facebook, I will sue you.'
ReplyDeleteThis is mainly due to my paranoia about facial recognition software. I really hate folk putting my image on the internet without asking me. It seems the height of bad manners.
Unfortunately, it also means a lot of really ugly wedding photos.
Torn.
If I asked you really, really nicely, could you send me a decent photograph of yourself? The one you use on Blogger is very attractive, seductive, I'll stop mow.
DeleteOh Bollocks. I realise that this is wholly unprofessional amongst bloggers but I think you are very beautiful. I shall now go and boil my head. My wife of course will be happy to plant her foot upon it to ensure it is thoroughly cooked through.
Delete