Monday, 29 April 2013

Watch With Mother (I mean watch with John Gray).

For whatever reason, we have lost all the BBC Children's channels.    It has been like this for over a week. Naturally Alex has been pretty frustrated.  He likes Charlie and Lola.  He loves Shaun the Sheep (I do too) and he likes 'Mr Maker' (utter shit in my opinion, an ultra cheap version of Blue Peter).  So I had to do something.
 
I was sure there were ways of making videos and posting them.  Everyone else seems to be able to do it so surely I could master a skill iindigenous to the masses.
 
Obviously, inept as I was, I needed something to keep my boy's face in front of the hitherto unused web cam built into my laptop lest my viewers decided they were not so much volunteers in this experiment as victims staring at my bemused visage.  As I fiddled with the system I realised it was possible to have the web cam little thingy with the green eye above the screen active while looking at other stuff on the screen below its all seeing eye.  Ha ha.
 
It is tough to get a four year old to stand in front of a green light peering at him from the top of a laptop screen.  Bugger me, having figured out moving digital pictures thus far, I was as bored shitless as the boy especially considering I was shirtless and dirty having just lugged a dead generator off the truck and onto a bit of hard standing so that I could sort it out.
 
There was no way he was going to waste time talking to his reflection on a screen.  With the digital satellite system dead, what I needed was 'Watch with Mother' internet style.   It was a very close call.  I tended towards Cro Magnon.  Surely the boy would go nuts over HMS Dangerous?  Nope.  All I did was pull up opening pages of blogs and let him choose.  Guess which page we finallly discusssed here?
 


I think I glossed over the boy's kissing boys bit fairly well.

23 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. You haven't started yet me old son. I want videos about where animals come from. I want you to explain to the lad which came first, the chicken or the flaming egg. How one skirts over the obvious embarrasment of being caught with one's finger up a dog's bum in the High Street.

      Angolan viewers, all both of us, have voted you number one Welsh Channel in Africa. Don't waste this wonderful opportunity now.

      Delete
  2. Ok
    I will do a blog entry Just for him

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  3. Us. We Angolans need some straight up Welsh humour as well.

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  4. He is so stinking cute... (Alex I mean!).

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  5. Hipp why don't you download torrents, and create your own DVDs? That's all I watch now. Can't be bothered with normal (cable) TV, except for BBC, CNN and Bloomberg occasionally.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The internet connection here is lousy. It can take a couple of weeks just to download a film.

      Delete
  6. John'll be strutting around Trelawnyd like a Peacock all day. Mine is probably best kept till bedtime; it'd put any kid to sleep in minutes!

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    Replies
    1. Oh I don't know! At least in your case you came in a (venerable) second but forget not that TV ratings are fickle...

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  7. So in some corner of Angola, John Gray is more famous than Jeremy Clarkson...that's a real achievement!

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    Replies
    1. I think John Gray's website gets more views than Top Gear!

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    2. Too bleeding righ it does

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  8. Boys kissing boys? That's a football match, isn't it? Your boy should know his dad looks like Barry Cryer, which is something to be proud of.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Soccer, I was rubbish at that too.

      I know of Barry Cryer but I had to google a photo of him. My wife Marcia says she can recommend a good optometrist used to dealing with primates.

      Delete
  9. What a sexy accent. I told my husband I'm in love with a hippo. ;) Alex is adorable by the way.

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    Replies
    1. Stay in love with the voice. A guy from the BBC once told me I could easily get a job doing voice overs. Rather significant, don't you think that he suggested voice overs and not me on camera? Having seen me I think now you know why. My body in no way matches the voice if we're talking sexy here.

      Delete
    2. I have to confess, your comment really made me feel quite good. In fact it cheered me up enormously. There is still a bit of me that works.

      Delete
  10. Have you ever thought of becoming a children's TV presenter? "Technotime with Uncle Tom"...but you'd need to wear a gaudy shirt - a bit like Timmy Mallett and you'd have to cease using Sandhurst words like "blasted" and "absolutely". Marvellous post and your little Alex is a real sweetheart.

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    Replies
    1. I can do gaudy.

      YP, I would happily do anything that brought a ray of sunshine, a little bit of pleasure into a child's life or made them laugh. I've retired now, I'd do it for nothing.

      Can you give me the politically correct alternatives for 'Blasted' and 'Absolutely' please? After all, you are an English teacher and equaly dedicated to the welfare and education of children.

      Delete
    2. I am sorry, I am giggling now. I am an explosives engineer by trade. Techno Time with Uncle Tom? How about episodes such as 'Let's blow up the neighbour's dustbin using the household chemicals Mummy has in the Kitchen' or 'Let's raid Daddy's shed and blow up the garden'. We could have a gardening section, 'How to Make Extra Pocket Money by Growing Neat Weed with Mummy's Sunlamp' and a self defence course, 'Dealing With Playground Bullies, How to Deliver the Perfect Glasgow Kiss'.

      You know I love kids, YP. It is just the idea of putting a thug like me up as a children's TV presenter tickled me.

      Delete
  11. I agree with Robin J......

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Please feel free to comment, good or bad. I will allow anything that isn't truly offensive to any other commentator. Me? You can slag me without mercy but try and be witty while you are about it.