For various
reasons, I was categorized as a Nil By Mouth prisoner (NBM and, to us hardened old
recidivist lags, a badge of honour) when I was taken down and transferred to
the maximum security Ward T08 of that notorious gaol, the University College
Hospital London, the bleak and sober sixteen floor exterior of which glowers
forebodingly over Euston Station much as the old NKVD headquarters did over Lubyanka
Square in Moscow. Banged immediately into solitary
confinement I was warned that I had been scheduled for re-educational medical
experiments that could happen at any time of day or night, this uncertainty
clearly forming part of the psychological process used to break inmates down
mentally and physically before ‘treatment.’
I, however,
am made of stern stuff so after three days, recognizing my sense of humour
remained undimmed, the Commissar Registrar relented and at 6am I was told I
could eat. Being English, I naturally
asked for a cup of tea (to affirm my political unreliability, I asked for it NATO standard).
Time passed and still no tea. For three days, unable to sleep as various
trainee doctors and nurses under the guidance of their more senior colleagues poked,
snipped and photographed my wound while collectively monitoring my progress, I could hear the tea trolley and the food
trolleys being pushed along the corridor outside my spartan cell. Deprived as I was of any means of telling the
time (apart from the view of the sun rising over the Shard, the Eye and other
noteworthy structures of central London through the full width picture window of
my cell, and the clock on the wall), I knew it was important to maintain some
measure of time to avoid going insane so I used the trolleys as my watch. Tea trolley at six. Breakfast trolley at eight. Soup trolley at eleven. Dinner trolley at 12.30 (it’s a lunch trolley
but they are all solid working class socialists here). Soup or snack trolley at five. Beverage trolley soon after. Supper trolley at 1800. Beverages on demand after that.
My arm had
been fitted with cannulas to facilitate the injections of truth serums, hallucinogens
and mind control drugs, a cocktail designed to further disorientate and break
down my will as well as litres of salt water.
Left alone I tried to disconnect the tubes, or at least (in case I was
being observed covertly through the multi-channel TV and entertainment centre)
roll over onto them to block the flow but the flow rate was monitored electronically
so all my attempts to foil their dastardly chemical therapy failed when the
alarm sounded.
I noticed
some Lomonosov flower vases on the comfortable looking armchair next to my multi-way electrically
adjustable prison cot (with its softly sprung, crisp cotton sheet bedecked paillasse). I knew they were Soviet era vases
because they were a funny shape, would not stand up properly and appeared to be
made of recycled cardboard not porcelain. I resolved, therefore, to harness my years of
healthy living and regular training along with the Zen like calm I am noted for to
expel as much of this chemical brew as possible by secretly passing it under
the bed clothes into these vases.
I quickly learned that the ‘trustees’ employed on menial tasks here are
not as indoctrinated as the institute would probably like for, at presumably
great personal risk if discovered, the trustees would quietly sneak out the filled pots and
replace them with empty ones. I tried
engaging these unfortunate souls in conversation a few times in the hope I
might use them as a conduit to get messages to no doubt anxious friends outside
but none of them spoke any language I could recognize. Clearly there was method to my captors’
sadism.
For three
days the trolleys had not been stopping at my cell but, worryingly, they were
not stopping now that I was no longer categorized NBM. By ten I realized I had fallen for that most
basic of ploy: promise the inmate what he really wants, then let him torture
himself with unending anticipation. My suspicion
was confirmed when I was informed that they were, after all, going to take me
to the theatre. London is famous for its
theatres and many long running shows but in this place, ‘the theatre’ is an
unpleasant euphemism for a chamber of horrors so sophisticated, even the evil
swine operating in it have to train intensively for a decade before they are
deemed mentally stout enough to live with the emotional consequences of their traumatic
trade. To maintain their anonymity in society, these ’Gentlemen Professionals’
are accorded no rank or title of respect but are merely referred to as ‘Mr.’
The golden
rule of resisting torture is to hold out as best you can for at least 48 hours
after which by all mean spill the beans, at least you will have given time for
anyone you might incriminate to escape. Let’s
face it, you’re dead anyway. For this
reason, my brother (who had bravely stayed with me) and I decided that he
should flee to the safety of Germany while he still had the chance. He managed to clear out just thirty minutes
before they came for me. Our parting was
sombre rather than emotional. ‘Vive La
France!’ he declared somewhat confusingly.
‘Fuck the Pope!’ I rejoined, more for something to say than any bizarre conviction
I held.
With a
delightful irony, I was asked to sign a form attesting my desire to undergo the
procedure they had planned for me and at 15.30 hours on Sunday the 4th
of May, just four foodless and drug fuelled days since I had kissed my weeping
wife and child goodbye and eight days before what would have been my fifty
fifth birthday, they administered the first lethal injection. ‘Zis vill make you feel varm und fuzzy,’ I
heard the heartless Wagnerian nurse say.
‘There’s a
hole in my sock!’ and indeed there was.
I realized it was me talking. I
was confused. I did not recall having
pulled socks on but not only was I wearing socks, very tight knee length socks,
my toes were sticking out the ends. I was
embarrassed. In addition, my lower legs
were encased in thick plastic bags with tubes in them. I realized I was back in my cell. The clock on the wall said 8.30. It was an analogue clock but since it was
dark outside and both the Shard and the London Eye were lit up I knew it was
evening. My throat hurt and I realized something
was clamped to my face. I tried to pull
it off but my arm was pulled up short by the tubes running into it. ‘Breathe normally,’ said a soft voice, ‘it’s just
oxygen. ‘ I looked down at my leg, for
the first time in weeks completely free of pain. A big chuck had gone from the upper
thigh. It was stuffed with something
black and spongy out of which came a clear plastic tube which led to a machine
next to me which gurgled and hissed. ‘Can
you feel it sucking?’ someone asked me. ‘No,’
I said. I could not feel anything. I felt all warm and fuzzy. I was floating in the most comfortable place
I had ever experienced. ‘I need a pee,’
I said. A trustee passed me a Lomonosov cardboard
vase and I eased springs into it.
I drifted off to sleep.
I woke up
early the next morning feeling great, really fantastic. During the night I had only been vaguely
aware of comings and goings as medical staff checked my temperatures and
pressures and reset the drip alarm after I had rolled onto the tube again.
‘You can eat now!’ said the night duty nurse, ‘breakfast
is from about eight, can I get you a cup of tea in the meantime?’ If he’d have served it to me soaked in his
underpants I would have drunk it. He
came back with my tea and a little cup with seven various capsules and tablets
to take. Various people came in and
inspected the wound. To all when asked
the same question, I said I felt great, I was just very hungry. I’d be able to eat soon, they all promised
me.
The night
shift handed over to the day shift. I
could have sworn I heard the breakfast trolley.
A nurse came in towing the temperature and pressure machine. As she hooked me up I told her I was really
hungry. ‘Can you eat?’ she asked me in a
really thick Filipino accent. ‘Like a
Ravenous Bugblatterbeast,’ I told her. ‘That’s
nice,’ she said before repacking her kit and leaving, closing the door behind
her.
A trustee
came in to change the bags in the various bins around the room. ‘Any chance of a cup of tea?’ I asked
him. ‘I don’t know,’ he said, ‘I’ll go
and ask.’
By now I
had concluded that all those responsible for the preparation and distribution
of food in this otherwise magnificent medical establishment were born out of
wedlock and were Fascists.
A ten, the
doctors from the day before came in and had a chat.
‘How do you
feel?’ they asked.
‘Hungry,’ I
said.
‘Haven’t
you eaten yet?’ They exclaimed.
‘I’ve had a
cup of tea,’ I said.
‘Well, you’ve
missed breakfast,’ they pointed out with a breath-taking disregard for how I might
take such an appalling disclosure.
‘Can one of
you do me a favour?’ I asked, suddenly suffused with a horrible thought, ‘could
you look on the other side of my door and see if there isn’t a notice pinned to
it saying perhaps ‘nil by mouth’?’
The doctor
came back into the room clutching just such a card.
Duly
summoned, a ward nurse hurried into the room.
‘You must
be starving, you poor dear, would you like some breakfast?’
‘Yes
please,’ I said, my spirits soaring.
‘What would
you like?’
‘Full English?’
I said mentally already half way through it and slavering like a Nile crocodile.
‘Kitchen’s
closed, I can do you cornflakes?’
But, I was
back on the food supply map of the University College Hospital London and the
flood gates opened. No sooner had I
finished the cornflakes and another cup of tea and a friendly face stuck itself
round my door asking me if I wanted a bowl of soup. It was leek and potato and was rich, creamy,
full of flavour. It was divine! Lunch was served, filets of chicken breast
served with pasta tossed in a creamy mushroom sauce with broccoli and for
dessert, a tasty fruit salad with a hint of vanilla. Heavenly. The vegetable soup in the afternoon was
thick, colourful and delightful on the palate.
Supper was a salmon filet gently poached in a herb cream sauce over a
bed of some exotic and crispy brassica, unfamiliar to me but all the more
pleasing because of it. This time
dessert was a decadently thick chocolate mousse with a tangy orange reduction. Each meal came with fresh fruit juice,
mineral water, a yoghurt and a choice of tea, coffee or hot chocolate.

The
following morning I had porridge, toast and marmalade for breakfast washed down
with tea, coffee and hot chocolate.
‘The food
here is fantastic,’ I told John, ex Royal Navy, now NHS, one of the regular
nurses looking after me during the day.
‘Yeah,’ he
laughed as he went about setting up the temperature and pressure machine, ‘they
all say that!’
Then he
looked at me closely, lying there in bed all chipper.
‘You’re
serious, aren’t you?’ He asked in wonder, as if I was some new and interesting example
of alien life form.
‘It’s
brilliant,’ I told him. ‘This hospital
is fantastic. The staff are all friendly
and helpful and very kind, the doctors are really nice and professional, they
talk to you as if you are an intelligent human being and make you feel part of
the process. Everyone goes out of their
way to keep me informed and make sure I am comfortable. I am in what amounts to a luxury en suite
hotel room in the centre of the best city in the world with a million dollar
view, most of the nurses and female doctors are drop dead gorgeous and the food
is ACE! What’s not to like?’
‘Blimey,’
he said, ‘honestly, no one has ever put it like that before.’
‘You know
you are a bit of a star?’ he went on. ‘Well you were a bit of a star anyway,
everyone heard about this bloke who came walking in off the street from Africa
with an exotic infection, that made you
star straight away but now that you are on a ward they all talk about
the man in bed 35 who always has a joke for everyone and never complains.’
‘Ah,’ I
said, ‘but they’ve never seen the inside of an Angolan hospital, have they? They wouldn’t think I was so special then’
There are a
lot of things that reinforce the Great in Great Britain. The NHS is one of them.
Having said
that, I was nil by mouth again from last night until three this afternoon when
my next op was cancelled because the plastic specialists from the Royal Free
could not get over so, after another good feeding frenzy this afternoon, I am
now nil by mouth again in anticipation of going into theatre sometime tomorrow. The surgeon was with me just now and told me
the op has now been classed as an emergency so will go ahead whether the
plastics people are there or not as they do need to get in there, do a bit more
debriding and confirm the progress of the infection has been halted. It was a very deep infection she said. The
thing that irritates them, and me, is that so far they have not identified what’s
causing it so they will be cutting out a few more samples to test. Either way, as the registrar said, this will
not be a quick fix so, looking at the bright side, it looks as if I will have
time to give up smoking after all…
Oh, there
was a hilarious moment when the surgeon came to see me this evening. They are all brisk and efficient and with me
do not waste time mincing words. ‘Sorry
you missed out on the op today,’ she said, ‘but your op has now ben classed as
an emergency so I will at least change the dressing.’ I was appalled and for the next few moments stopped
listening to what she was saying. This
morning as they prepped me to go down to theatre they dressed me in a gown and
laid upon the bed the new vacuum dressing and a few bits and pieces telling me
these had to go with me down to theatre.
They were still lying on the bed.
I looked at
my thigh, at the hardened sponge of the old vacuum dressing pushed into and
stapled to the hole in my thigh and tried to imagine her removing that,
swabbing the wound out and stuffing and stapling a new dressing in. Here, in this room. Don’t forget, on the day of my arrival, they
had been so alarmed, a surgeon had come down to A&E and there and then,
after I refused the offer of morphine, proceeded, scalpel and tweezers in hand,
to cut away all the dead flesh with me wide awake watching and feeling his
every move. Her replacing the dressing
in a similar manner was not, to my suddenly fevered mind, beyond the realms of
possibility. I must have looked awfully scared
and sick when I stared wildly back at her and said, ‘What? Now?’ because she burst out laughing and
said, ‘Now? Christ no! You’d be in agony and you’ll bleed like a pig! No, we’ll do this under general anaesthetic
tomorrow!’
She may
have thought that was a weird and unusual thing for me to say but I’ll bet she
has never seen what goes on inside an Angolan hospital either.
As an aside, (apparently I am not nil by mouth for another hour so I have asked the very kind gentleman who has just changed the bag on my thigh vacuum cleaner for another cup of tea because I have learnt to stay awake when I can eat and drink, and sleep as much as I can when I am NBM), I will share with you this observation, the purpose of which is to demonstrate how politicians can always get what they want by asking questions in such a way, they already know they will get the answers they want before asking the question.
If I asked you whether HS2 would be of economic benefit, a considered (rather than emotional) response would likely be, yes. Don't forget, I did not ask you if the economic benefit was worth the investment, I merely asked if the project would be of economic benefit and yes, of course, it would have to be, if only to the companies and their employees building it. Having received the answer he wanted, the politician would then spin that 'yes' to proof the majority want HS2.
If, on the other hand, I said:
HS2 is going to cost 70 billion pounds. Would you rather that money was spent on a faster rail link or the NHS?
What do you think the overwhelming response would be?
I have a packet of Jaffa Cakes calling to me and a vase that needs filling. Ta Ta fer now.