tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-85120220502299684902024-02-24T21:45:52.099+01:00A Hippo On the LawnDiary of an Involuntary ExpatriateHippohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09468795398813061897noreply@blogger.comBlogger411125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-45501286853830315002023-10-31T20:19:00.000+01:002023-10-31T20:19:57.000+01:00<p><b><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;">Karma</span></b><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;"> (</span><span class="ipa"><span style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: #1000; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;">/<span title="/ˈ/: primary stress follows">ˈ</span><span title="'k' in 'kind'">k</span><span title="/ɑːr/: 'ar' in 'far'">ɑːr</span><span title="'m' in 'my'">m</span><span title="/ə/: 'a' in 'about'">ə</span>/</span></span><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;">, from Sanskrit: </span><span lang="SA" style="color: black; font-family: "Nirmala UI",sans-serif; mso-bidi-language: SA; mso-themecolor: text1;">कर्म</span><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;">, <span class="ipa-label">IPA:</span>
<span class="ipa">[ˈkɐɾmɐ]</span>; Pali: <i>kamma</i>) is a concept of action,
work or deed, and its effect or consequences.<sup id="cite_ref-1"> </sup>In Indian
religions, the term more specifically refers to a principle of cause and effect,
often descriptively called the <b>principle of karma</b>, wherein intent and
actions of an individual (cause) influence the future of that individual
(effect): Good intent and good deeds contribute to good karma and happier rebirths.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;"></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;">All this is, of course, is complete
bollocks. Fare for yoghurt knitting tree huggers.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;">The economic climate in Angola is
dire.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Kwanza, our currency, has
fallen off a very high cliff.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In April
this year, a Euro would buy me 400 kwanzas.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Now I can get 1,100 on the street.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Good for me, as I am paid in good old pounds sterling, but absolute shit
for everyone else.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Actually, it isn’t
that great for me either as the inflation occasioned by the collapse of the
kwanza has eroded any gain I might have enjoyed but at least, my circumstances
have not worsened.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Inflation has consigned
the lives of those whose salaries are paid in local currency to one of quiet
desperation.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;"></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;">I am 64 now and recognise that continued
salaried employment is ever more limited so I have to prepare to see for
myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have a nice bit of land and a
couple of cottages down south next to the sea, with which I am sure I can do
something.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;">Having been abandoned by my third
wife (I was never married to her but having co-habited for over a decade and having
sired two wonderful children together, she merits the title), I employ two
housekeepers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They work alternatively
three and four days a week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This ensures
that every day I have someone to clean up after visits of my children, an
almost daily and only marginally unwelcome occurrence, and preparing healthy fare
for them so they can maintain the robust energy required to not only bugger up
my house, but my comfortable routine as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;">None of us would expend treasure
to hang an awful painting on a wall so I saw no need to employ repulsive
housekeepers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Marcelina and Brilha are
animate works of art whose presence, while I maintain the strictest application
of the rules of Safeguarding, do as much to help me avoid </span><span class="hgkelc"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;">atherosclerosis
as my own consumption of whisky, cigarettes and fatty bacon negate.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="hgkelc"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;"> </span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzP0Ez3buw_PqcPxaUYEM9k9ywLasl1HEqaU0umrHTqQ8Y2NpV9wD21iFD7EuNbsEO4tcq5tS-juB3XbTxUlGuO4svDG7WCVEv0pLPOzcWFFXYgXpXwZAWCsmAlIn5t3x0QMZTh4b5baSzVIGYOhpYE7ZBhmftBWgUyaO61CJJGvsz2-t3aGHeVI7HK_RY/s1280/Brilha.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="1280" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzP0Ez3buw_PqcPxaUYEM9k9ywLasl1HEqaU0umrHTqQ8Y2NpV9wD21iFD7EuNbsEO4tcq5tS-juB3XbTxUlGuO4svDG7WCVEv0pLPOzcWFFXYgXpXwZAWCsmAlIn5t3x0QMZTh4b5baSzVIGYOhpYE7ZBhmftBWgUyaO61CJJGvsz2-t3aGHeVI7HK_RY/s320/Brilha.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /> <br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJxegcI4eBuxBG-iWZtxeuARe5Npce1NRqVDHD15_m65trUd23h_d6uvc0r8YBsUBWVGDfQnOWczcBAqqtuHRBeOdLFunN02yer5qGRs7D47syvW0Ryg0cmjsg1lYbAz6u03RXRXvuT8150-b66nPEeAnP3sIQGRfdufN45GFdbj18wSIdU4K6LViP7F__/s820/Marcelina.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="820" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJxegcI4eBuxBG-iWZtxeuARe5Npce1NRqVDHD15_m65trUd23h_d6uvc0r8YBsUBWVGDfQnOWczcBAqqtuHRBeOdLFunN02yer5qGRs7D47syvW0Ryg0cmjsg1lYbAz6u03RXRXvuT8150-b66nPEeAnP3sIQGRfdufN45GFdbj18wSIdU4K6LViP7F__/s320/Marcelina.jpg" width="281" /></a></div><br /><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="hgkelc"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;"></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="hgkelc"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;">Very recently, I had to explain to my employers that the
assertion by our workers union, in support of a pay claim, that inflation in
Angola was 60% was wrong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Woefully
wrong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have no idea from where they,
the union, drew that figure but based on my personal shopping experience:</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="hgkelc"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;"></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;">Coffee, 2,400 kwanzas in April,
now 5,900</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;">Rice 20 kg sack, 7,800, now
21,000</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;">Sugar 50 kgs, 18 - 20,000
depending on quality, now 65 – 70,000</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;">Cooking oil 20 litre container,
10 – 12,000, now 40,000</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;"></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;">I leave it to you to do the
mathematics but if, like the aforementioned union representatives, you come up
with 60%, go back to kindergarten and be content in the knowledge that you will
never lead a successful workers revolution.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;"></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;">Two months ago, I doubled the
salaries of my housekeepers. A 100% pay rise? Impressive but still not enough
to mitigate the effects of inflation so I have become more amenable to ‘discounted-from-salaries’
loans to pay for medication for sick children or whatever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Except I am lousy at book keeping so keep
forgetting to apply the deductions.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;"></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;">Alex, by the way, graduated from
high school early.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was fifteen in September,
so fourteen when he graduated and is now studying geology in a college feeding
students into the oil industry, I am so proud. He is a monster of a man.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For his graduation, he needed a suit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nothing off the peg would fit so I had to
send him to a tailor for a bespoke suit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Between me signing the contract and the stitch delivering the suit, the
Kwanza collapsed and Alex got an excellent suit at an off-the-peg price. As an
aside, why do foreigners find it remarkable that an Englishman orders his suits
to be made with two pairs of trousers?</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2Sufq000lN7ij8jxHOzSjDixjcI3BsAeIN06hK1SJ4PI1XB8m9sFDi8pT9RyimukM8T2QDPTM8DOK96CDn_tEuWWGoebAYnPwdVgR0yqxT3HIIuQY75bNPXQUdDNoTA4RToeN5PHnqmChC8tkNNUGcbRdovIiHZrUcc91elRjV9Rcc9i8RnVMFMV7XuWA/s1280/Big%20man.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2Sufq000lN7ij8jxHOzSjDixjcI3BsAeIN06hK1SJ4PI1XB8m9sFDi8pT9RyimukM8T2QDPTM8DOK96CDn_tEuWWGoebAYnPwdVgR0yqxT3HIIuQY75bNPXQUdDNoTA4RToeN5PHnqmChC8tkNNUGcbRdovIiHZrUcc91elRjV9Rcc9i8RnVMFMV7XuWA/s320/Big%20man.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The smart looking chap on the right is 24 years old and is wearing my blazer (just to give you some perspective). The beast on the left in the smart suit knocked up by Rent-A-Tent Angola is 14 and is all my fault.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;"></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;">I work with a gentleman called
Janeiro.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is not his real name.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was born on the first of January so January
is his nickname. His boy ran into some issues in Portugal and Janeiro needed to
get him some Euros pretty damn quick.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Forget
the banks, what was needed was someone who had hard cash in Europe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now I don’t mind squeezing the Quingilas, the
informal currency traders, for the best street rate of exchange, which is way
more than the official rate but this was Janeiro, my colleague and, dare I say,
friend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He wanted 3,000 Euros and the
difference between official and street rates meant I would have to swallow a
five hundred quid loss.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For us normal
folk, this is well into the territory of tender testicles, eye watering.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Several years ago, my eldest went a bit awry
so I flung everything I had at the problem to sort out his situation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I reflected upon this. In addition, I
considered the two bastards to whom I lent far superior sums, neither of whom
show any inclination to honour their debt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I felt for Janeiro so accepted the hit.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;"></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;">If you aspire to opening a beach
side café to which you can retire and try to write like Ernest Hemmingway, as I
do, the most expensive bit of kit you will need is an espresso machine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These cost thousands of units of any serious currency,
be it dollars, pounds or euros.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I
keep lending money to people, if I keep taking hits, how am I ever going to
afford one?</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;">Janeiro, unlike the
aforementioned two bastards, is honorable so I was suddenly flush with
Kwanzas, and, lo and behold, I received a WhatsApp message.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Tom, you need kit for a café, check this out…”<br /></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;">I shan’t go into details,
basically I bought the lot. I shall share with you just one score: a virtually
brand new espresso machine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I checked on
line and excluding VAT (Value Added Tax at 20%) the machine costs GBP
2,800.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I paid the equivalent of GBP 200.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;"></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;">Karma, do the sums, I came out
ahead, and so did all my staff.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;"> </span></p>
Hippohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09468795398813061897noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-23201518383633231912022-04-20T15:03:00.008+01:002022-04-20T17:28:11.744+01:00Empowering Youth<p class="MsoNormal">I seem to be spending a lot of time at the airport,
shuffling colleagues off to enjoy leave or pastures new, or welcoming those who
have decided to contribute their services to the Angola project. I really do
not mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I only have two drivers worth
a salt and I think they appreciate the fact that I am not averse to including
my name on Part One Orders as Duty Driver thereby giving them a well-deserved
rest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I do have a third driver and he is good, very good, as long
as I do not task him anywhere near a main road.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Driving with him calls to mind the old joke, ‘I would rather die in my
sleep, as did my bus driver father, than screaming as did his passengers.’<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In front of the international airport in Luanda is a roundabout
and overpass.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Coming from Nova Vida, the
pleasant suburb in which we are based means surmounting a bridge and then
hooking right down to the airport.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Given
that even the best of our drivers have no lane discipline, for the passenger
this is a <span><span data-dobid="hdw">manoeuvre</span></span> best endured with eyes closed.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Just recently, however, and for the aforementioned reasons,
I have been driving passengers to the airport and, wisely, I think, confident
my passengers would concur; I have executed this with my eyes open.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Imagine my surprise, therefore, when cresting
the bridge before swinging down to the right and the international airport
beyond, I happened to glance left and spot a new roulotte.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Roulottes are great.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Although pretty much illegal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As
in all things Angolan, it depends on whom you know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Years ago, Luanda was full of them, one on
almost every street corner.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>From them
one could order a Burger or a Hot Dog. Just the sort of healthy sustenance a
chap needed to successfully navigate on unsteady pins between his preferred
watering hole and his final resting place, be that his scratcher or face down
in Luanda Bay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Either way, it was always
a pleasure to pass out with a belly full of street burger rather than a bandit’s
knife.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then the Angolan Government
decided that such enterprise was counter-revolutionary and all roulottes were
suddenly hauled off the streets.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lest we
judge, consider what would happen to anyone setting up a trailer-mounted hot
dog stand on the corner of your residential paradise in UK without first
jumping through the multiple hoops of local authority bureaucracy.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But I digress. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What
made me do a double take (very nearly causing me to execute a short cut off the
over pass plunging me, the car and a wholly innocent passenger to the ground
and fiery death below) was not so much the existence of the roulotte, but the
name its entrepreneurial owner had selected for his venture into express epicurean
services.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In English, a proper language and one, since the publication
of the King James’ bible in 1611, even God thought best to learn so he could
keep up with the activities of an island of marauding pirates, the name elected
as representative of the services on offer refers to a solitary, rather
desperate activity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By ensuring regular entry
into normal, healthy relationships, I have managed to palm off, so to speak, any
personal indulgence in the same but surely, I wondered as I dropped a visibly
shaken <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">and</i> stirred passenger off
outside international departures, something has been lost in translation.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Well, there was only one way to find out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As soon as the still tremulous voice of my
passenger confirmed by telephone that she had successfully checked in, passed
through customs and immigration checks and had scooped a few calming G&T’s
without fainting in the departure lounge, I made my way out of the airport in the direction of the roulotte.
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The direct headline, the name of the roulotte, had attracted
my attention but there was an indirect headline inscribed below, noticeable only when I was
within thirty paces so close enough to discern it with aged eyeballs:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A força da
juventude empreendedora.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In God’s preferred
patois, this means: The Strength of Entrepreneurial Youth.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Good Lord.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Laudable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am all in favour of
empowering youth, and women, any disadvantaged group and, indeed, the roulotte was
staffed by vibrant, intelligent and oh so helpful youngsters, most of them
female.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It has been many years since I
stood on an Angolan street quaffing a beer while my evening repast was prepared
with undeniable skill before my very eyes.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I was though, there on a mission.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wanted to know the origins, the motive for
the choice of name.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It wasn’t the sort
of thing I felt a chap could broach with the lovely Paula, busy frying up the
most perfect egg to surmount my burger so I called the only male on duty to one
side and explained everything.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">‘NO!’ he said, ‘<u>SERIOUSLY</u>?!!!’</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">‘Fraid so’, I said with the sangfroid the English claim as theirs, but still confess to in French, ‘Perhaps this word means something else
in a local language?’ I ventured hopefully. In Angola there are at least ten
distinct local languages in addition to the Portuguese imposed upon them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">There are subjects a chap will simply no longer discuss post educationem and I was hoping for a degree of discretion but he decided, evidently as
a good Socialist, to open this up (occasioning my acute embarrassment) to the
general appreciation of his female co-workers, including sweet and innocent
Paula who was at that moment assembling my burgers in such a manner I could not help but recall, I was once young.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">‘That is our Boss’s name’, they assured me once they had
recovered their composure and wiped tears of mirth from their eyes.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">‘Oh God no!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Please do
not tell him what his name means in English I implore you!’ I implored with all the vigour of a Shakespearean veteran. ‘And if
you feel compelled to do so', I continued, 'please do not tell him it was me that told you,’ This with a sincerity my beating heart told me that this time was genuine.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The burgers were fantastic, prepared and served by a young,
animated and such a pleasant team.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
never knew an 'ahem' in public could be so gratifying.</p>
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<p></p><br /></div>Hippohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09468795398813061897noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-36953891252559838882021-09-03T22:04:00.001+01:002021-09-03T22:15:16.703+01:00What a nice bunch of people<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
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Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
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</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin-top:0cm;
mso-para-margin-right:0cm;
mso-para-margin-bottom:8.0pt;
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<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8XgNTPzoOIahLBY-wXxXXgoMmUboblWV0ZqToN14SuthYRyV3AfRi1N1g-OieaO78EqDXxx8NaXiwc8ZD9pLgFYATitEDXqjBWMohvQEtJetFHkHshE3IJzwwwKpPX0xGVbOahpvQdY4P/s1024/IMG-20210824-WA0015.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="768" data-original-width="1024" height="331" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8XgNTPzoOIahLBY-wXxXXgoMmUboblWV0ZqToN14SuthYRyV3AfRi1N1g-OieaO78EqDXxx8NaXiwc8ZD9pLgFYATitEDXqjBWMohvQEtJetFHkHshE3IJzwwwKpPX0xGVbOahpvQdY4P/w441-h331/IMG-20210824-WA0015.jpg" width="441" /></a></div><br /> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">I presented myself at the Embassy
where my arm was stabbed with commendable sympathy and skill by a very
attractive and most professional bi-lingual Angolan nurse whose name I soon
discovered, never having been able to resist chatting to anyone attractive, was
Marcia, same as my partner. Even as she clasped my upper arm with a hand
soft as butter and advanced with the other bearing a needle on the dangerous end of a
syringe I could not help wondering how I always seemed to meet the nicest
people under the most unusual circumstances.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">‘Just a small prick’ she murmured.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Whether this was a conciliatory
warning or an observation was something I only afterwards briefly considered,
either would have been applicable in my case.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Prior to the actual jab, I was
interviewed by an evidently superior medical authority who, amongst other
enquiries, appeared keen to ascertain my proclivity, if any, to spontaneous bleeding.
Only after pub fights I told him which, given my failing eyesight and aged
joints, tended to occasion a greater loss of blood, my blood, than when I was
younger. He seemed quite alarmed so I assured him that at all other times
I was generally quite good at hanging onto the red stuff.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Normally, one is
obliged to wait fifteen minutes after the jab before continuing on one’s way for
fear that one may keel over and die of shock. Clearly, medical
professionals would prefer their patients to do this in front of them rather than
behind the wheel of a car doing a hundred miles an hour along an
expressway.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With scant regard for their
fellow citizens, these two sporting individuals seemed happy to release me back
onto the streets of Luanda immediately.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">I am sure,
therefore, that it was only because I was ‘double jabbed’, and did not leak
blood everywhere as a consequence, that I was invited to be involved in the
visit of a delegation of US senators to Angola, rather than as recognition by
higher authority that I possessed any useful skills.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY8Of7sTIXIhog-7v0ogvePKoGQBO59gIlEbDEhklixZrXRiu6Dj8d4nd2PKVsQreLt6ogYXKdfYyhIAlw5jC4WOvxGUlhygRuhU4CxYUAEjpB76UG23YYTYe7vAejQAZA5QTgqUpSiljy/s1024/IMG-20210824-WA0002.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1024" data-original-width="768" height="420" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY8Of7sTIXIhog-7v0ogvePKoGQBO59gIlEbDEhklixZrXRiu6Dj8d4nd2PKVsQreLt6ogYXKdfYyhIAlw5jC4WOvxGUlhygRuhU4CxYUAEjpB76UG23YYTYe7vAejQAZA5QTgqUpSiljy/w315-h420/IMG-20210824-WA0002.jpg" width="315" /></a></div><br /> <p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">It was an enormous
pleasure to meet with these professionals.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The United States is a major donor to mine action initiatives and it is
only fair, and highly desirable, that the key holders to US coffers come here
and see for themselves the positive impact of such investment.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"> </span></p>
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Name="footnote text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="footer"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="table of figures"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="envelope address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="envelope return"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="footnote reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="line number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="page number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="table of authorities"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="macro"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="toa heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
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<![endif]-->Hippohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09468795398813061897noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-43691750926117239012021-02-25T20:36:00.003+01:002021-02-25T20:45:31.571+01:00HeroRATs <p>
</p><p class="MsoNormal">Not sure if any of you have seen this film, but I can
thoroughly recommend it. Naturally, while I may be keen on it, in the
sense of being a professional in this business and, therefore, possessed of a
passing interest, I recognize the film may not be to everyone’s taste,
especially as it isn’t in English.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But
it is worth a fraction of your time on earth.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/GafFkkl0xt0" width="320" youtube-src-id="GafFkkl0xt0"></iframe></div><br />There was a particular scene in the film I was hoping to
isolate and share with you all but, sadly, I am a bit cack handed when it comes
to pirating copyrighted films so, in order to see the scene I have in mind, you
are just going to have to slog through the film until you see the truck blow
up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The trailer should, however give you
a flavour which, if you are at least mostly human, will rest bitter on the
palate.<p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Often, it is inconvenient to blow up every remnant of war in
situ.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After all, we are trying to clear and
release land back to the local population as quickly as possible so the land
can be returned to productive use.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Making the locals, the beneficiaries to use acceptable terminology, wait
years while we pop off every mine or projectile individually is ridiculous,
they’ll starve to death before we finish.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Not only that, it buggers up the terrain and makes finding anything else
that may be hidden just below the surface that much harder to find if a tonne
or so of spoil and metal detector confounding shrapnel has just descended upon
it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Best to make all the bad stuff safe,
or make the qualified decision that the dangerous stuff is safe enough to move,
gather it all together, transport it somewhere very isolated, and let it all go
together in one almighty great big bang.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>That way more fields bloom, quicker.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Rapid and effective land release.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are all under not only a self-imposed
pressure to alleviate suffering, but also the budgetary pressures imposed by
donors.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whichever way you look at it and
however grateful we are for their intervention and support, donors want to see
a return on investment and, if we are to continue, we need to satisfy this
rather fundamental requirement.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Demining is expensive, about 4 USD per square metre as a
very rough average if conducted by an efficient organization so if you are
demining a whole country, work it out for yourself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Any initiative that can reduce this cost
thereby releasing greater acreages to productive use has to be explored and a recent
innovative idea is rats.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Rats are clever little buggers and anyone who has experience
of them knows that once they are inside your house, they are almost impossible
to get rid of and, if you do manage to expel them, they’ll at the very least have
left you with a nest chewed from the deeds of your house inside your impossible-to-get-into
wall safe.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Let us not argue whether rats are as efficient at detecting
mines as a good and well trained man or woman behind the very best mine
detector on the market today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The fact
remains, when something nasty is discovered, whether by rat or human, it is up
to a human being to decide whether to blow the thing in-situ, or disarm and
move it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The burden of responsibility is
enormous.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Regardless of the methods and
procedures used to locate, identify and dispose, <span class="acopre">all
remnants of war are dangerous, no matter how many precautions are employed by
those who selflessly volunteer to clear them away for the greater good of their
fellow citizens.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And nowadays most of us
engaged in this activity are volunteers, not like my old Angolan colleague’s
first introduction to combat mine clearance when he, and all his 16,17 and 18-year-old
comrade conscripts were lined up shoulder to shoulder and encouraged at
gunpoint to shuffle across a mine field to clear a path for the more
experienced troops behind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I wasn’t
already convinced of what a harrowing experience that must have been his
confession, delivered with no hint of shame, that he was one of the lucky ones
and reached the other side with heavily soiled underwear sealed the
deal.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="acopre">Mine clearance has changed a lot over the
years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In just the nearly four decades I
have been involved in explosives disposal of one sort or another, I can see the
transformation from enthusiastic amateur to highly trained professional and
incidents across the profession are thankfully rare, just a few a year. All the
more remarkable when you consider that a single team can clear thousands of
mines and dispose of many tonnes of ammunition a year, some of it, such as
scatterable (cluster) munitions, extremely bloody dodgy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While we are all aware that something could
happen, it is still sobering when it does.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>A few days ago, a truck was being loaded with ammunition so that it
could be transported to a demolition site.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It is too early to say with any confidence exactly what happened but the
detonation obliterated the truck killing two colleagues and injuring several more,
one of whom finally succumbed to his injuries yesterday.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="acopre">I know personally military explosive
ordnance disposal professionals who have been decorated for bravery, and there
are many others but I was hard pressed to find the scores of civilians who must
surely have been recognized with an award for their quiet courage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All I could find was this:</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://www.bbc.com/news/world-54284952">https://www.bbc.com/news/world-54284952</a></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I did a quick calculation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Given the lifetime clearance rate of this medal winner, a further
153,845 rats would be required to clear just Cambodia.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Perhaps PDSA should invest in a foundry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After all, that’s an awful lot of medals they're going to have to mint.</p>
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<![endif]--></p>Hippohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09468795398813061897noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-28445260067680238862020-10-08T01:33:00.000+01:002020-10-08T01:33:01.354+01:00Little Brown Jobs<p> <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</p><p class="MsoNormal">A while ago, long before Marcia abandoned the family leaving
me to look after the children by myself (on Valentine’s Day last year if anyone
is really that interested, a date notable only because it left me with a bunch
of roses I suddenly had no use for), I paid for her to go to catering college.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Having passed the basic course with flying
colours, Marcia then went on to specialize in patisserie, so I think you can
all understand how extraordinarily pissed off we were when she left.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The children and I loved nothing more than a well-made
sticky bun.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I like bread.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know
that bread isn’t exactly patisserie but it is made with yeast and generally comes
out of an oven that has just scented a kitchen for at least an hour or so. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a child in Baden-Baden I would happily walk
down, and then necessarily back up, a mountain at six in the morning to collect
the fresh Brötchens which constituted the main ingredient of our breakfast. I
like bread so much that sandwiches, or at the very least if I have forgotten to
load the fridge with lettuce, tomatoes and ham, a supermarket bun loaded with
cheese and mayonnaise, forms part of my nightly routine, along with a good book.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These are habits ruinous to my
waistline.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>According to the BBC, if I
catch Covid, I will probably die.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My
survival, apparently, depends upon me giving up bad habits. I understand what
the BBC are/is saying (correct me someone), but one has to ask oneself, denied
inspiring literature, is life really worth living?</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Marcia is so much younger than I so which person of reason
could deny her the opportunity to step over the traces and gallop for a bit?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Patience is its own reward and in my case
this bunch of bollocks actually seemed to work and a couple or so months ago it
was with delight we welcomed her back for reasons, I hasten to add, far deeper than budget
Bounties and light cream filled pastries. Now, it appears, she is a bread revolutianry.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">For a while now I have had trouble sleeping.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have no trouble actually going to sleep, I
can do that in an armchair at eight in the evening.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But at no later than four in the morning, I
am wide awake and worrying.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just one,
only one, of the things pressing my being to insomnia recently has been how to
get 29 vehicles from Luanda to Menongue, with only half as many drivers as
there were vehicles.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To achieve the
seemingly impossible, a big hole was required and happily, today, I found one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not at all easy in the middle of a big city
but there it was, the police shooting range upon which, years ago I trained.</p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTu-6YGxuC2LO4hpCZCNUcilwh31__r7mH-J8BrQ2N5EJ38_mdthodivsslBAI_ftrC0yp1Pwzg5KxIOe-M-RbkfTXRnrzWHMeHS4ArmpZA8UpzFWZVYW0_t5H3SQUWsvzkLT7gW0wsBvy/s2048/IMG_20201007_114517.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="321" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTu-6YGxuC2LO4hpCZCNUcilwh31__r7mH-J8BrQ2N5EJ38_mdthodivsslBAI_ftrC0yp1Pwzg5KxIOe-M-RbkfTXRnrzWHMeHS4ArmpZA8UpzFWZVYW0_t5H3SQUWsvzkLT7gW0wsBvy/w428-h321/IMG_20201007_114517.jpg" width="428" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj59rcZOwIKzyCGQ_Q3nnJkcRfIkkzNEvRGkbxb1bEU8y9FKN-0AHj83ZGxez6jDRD_PKZQuGbLGTmNZx0rucsATk5XA6n2y0S1xCu-Jd0ksDzQvD9NS7UQHxBszOvoEGR3TILmg668UUFx/s2048/IMG_20201007_142317.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="318" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj59rcZOwIKzyCGQ_Q3nnJkcRfIkkzNEvRGkbxb1bEU8y9FKN-0AHj83ZGxez6jDRD_PKZQuGbLGTmNZx0rucsATk5XA6n2y0S1xCu-Jd0ksDzQvD9NS7UQHxBszOvoEGR3TILmg668UUFx/w423-h318/IMG_20201007_142317.jpg" width="423" /></a></div><br /> <br /><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Other matters pressing remain but it was with a much lighter
heart I returned home this evening only to be confronted by Marcia.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I will be the first to admit to an occasional loss of
patience with a tradesman, or baker as in Marcia’s case.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will also confess the subsequent
glorification of the ensuing confrontation to anyone not too bored to walk away,
a desire to justify, but really an attempt to salve a growing realization of an
inexcusable loss of composure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Marcia was foaming at the mouth.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">‘Are you aware that a bread roll now weighs only 40 grammes?’</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Tired and now struck dumb, I was saved by the twins.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 166.0pt;">‘Sabre tried to eat a baby bird!’
they chorused.<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 166.0pt;">‘Gosh,’ I said.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 166.0pt;">Sabre is an Alsatian.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have trained him to kill, or at least
seriously maul, anyone who comes onto the property with ill intent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sadly, only having a doggy brain driven by
instinct, he has interpreted this somewhat liberally as an instruction to kill
anything that moves except, and I am so grateful for this, children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our Brazilian neighbour, an adult lady, did
not meet Sabre’s limited criteria so I had to cough the hospital bill for
stitching her bottom back together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There
was a motion to have Sabre destroyed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After
some heated negotiation, I installed a door bell and disseminated instructions
for its use.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 166.0pt;">Still, this latest transgression
of his, the attempted murder of a baby bird, was far more serious than the
weight of a bread roll, so I diverted my attention accordingly.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 166.0pt;">When I was a child, I felt an
instinctive duty of care for anything less fortunate than myself, an emotion I
carry to this day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Chicks do fall out of
their nests, and with the knowledge that left on the deck, unable to do more
than flutter inches above the ground, they were destined to become extra rations
for feral cats, I would always pick them up and carry them home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Only to be told that I had, to all intents
and purposes, killed them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Merely
touching them ensured their mothers abandoned them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By moving them from where I had found them, I
had condemned them to lonely starvation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>That is a lot of guilt for a five-year-old.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 166.0pt;">I refer to twins.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are not really twins at all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Only one is the issue of my loins, my
daughter Charlotte, Charlie.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The other
is Cheyenne.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cheyenne is Marcia’s niece,
the daughter of Marcia’s sister.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Marcia’s
sister died.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sad enough in itself for
young Cheyenne but then, after the funeral, her father returned Cheyenne to her
mother’s family on the grounds that the family had provided him a defective
woman. The child, therefore, was no longer his responsibility.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Regrettably young Alex, who I really do not
want to grow up to be a man who resorts too quickly to anything more extreme
than a verbal exchange of difference, witnessed what I think by now we have all
agreed is a jolly rare and, yes, I suppose, unforgiveable, loss of self-control.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Once the dust settles, and Cheyenne’s father
regains sufficient mobility to sign the necessary documentation, I will
formally adopt the girl.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the meantime,
Cheyenne lives with us and, much to the confusion of the till girls at
Shoprite, our supermarket of convenience where we three, the old bloke,
Charlie and Cheyenne, are now well known, I refer to the two of them as my twin
girls.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Biologically, I tell anyone I am
intent on teasing, it is possible for the twin issue of a mixed race couple to
exhibit individually the extreme characteristics of both parents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘It’s all a question of eggs’, I lecture them
as I pack my groceries into non bio degradable plastic bags.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was hard enough convincing the Shoprite
belles that I wasn’t the girls’ grandfather.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Now I am satisfied half of them believe they are witnessing one of nature’s
miracles.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The twins don’t mind; they get
free sweets.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 166.0pt;"> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzo0uWQ3vrF3t5f7vK5PLZ9kf5Y5veEdIf8BeQMbXZEpyt36khGDznNmi6lOwQqd432j2QA0lnOjB-nEgHp__nd3MK3c8jMDPlaWa5kwg77Wlf0HvTS_Nb6roMsenuEYe_RyW5srcSGyft/s2048/IMG_20201001_161207.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="548" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzo0uWQ3vrF3t5f7vK5PLZ9kf5Y5veEdIf8BeQMbXZEpyt36khGDznNmi6lOwQqd432j2QA0lnOjB-nEgHp__nd3MK3c8jMDPlaWa5kwg77Wlf0HvTS_Nb6roMsenuEYe_RyW5srcSGyft/w411-h548/IMG_20201001_161207.jpg" width="411" /></a></div><br /> <br /><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 166.0pt;">Alex hunts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is eleven now but he has hunted since he
was old enough to draw a bow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am
pleased to note that he has adopted my mantra, if you are not going to eat it,
don’t kill it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sabre is sometimes a bit
ambitious but obeys pretty much the same rule.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I am sure that given the opportunity, and the time, he would have devoured
my Brazilian neighbour, burying what he could not manage at his first sitting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The twins, however, still with this blessed
instinct to save life and oblivious to life depending on mortality, had rescued
a baby bird from Sabre’s jaws of death, leaving me with a bit of a headache.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 166.0pt;">I have no idea what this baby bird
eats.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t even know what kind of
bird it is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know Guinea Fowl, I shoot
them regularly, and I know they can survive, until shot of course, on grain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I tried Google and Wikipedia and discovered
that the main font of ornithological expertise resides with ‘twitchers’, who
suggest that this is an ‘LBJ’.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Something
rare, undiscovered even?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No, it means ‘Little
Brown Job’ betraying, I suspect, similar bewilderment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Looks like a Sparrow to me but I am in
Africa, do we have Sparrows here?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If
this bird dies, the twins will hate me.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 166.0pt;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh72qrd1BRgjYybSjJkON6cwNJwtVJAin8R9UZT4JIw_vORO0r2kFPm9B7Ojlqlu35yoiEf_jX-RTbJINtYqpTy2n4nJDWH2TCnSGXPGeEMp0JGXr_ZRJV_5f22u0MR9Dh7psPukpyBehg1/s2048/IMG_20201007_174253.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="448" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh72qrd1BRgjYybSjJkON6cwNJwtVJAin8R9UZT4JIw_vORO0r2kFPm9B7Ojlqlu35yoiEf_jX-RTbJINtYqpTy2n4nJDWH2TCnSGXPGeEMp0JGXr_ZRJV_5f22u0MR9Dh7psPukpyBehg1/w336-h448/IMG_20201007_174253.jpg" width="336" /></a></div><br /> <p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 166.0pt;">Back to where I came in and bumped
into an effervescent Marcia.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Apparently
the baker is now using extra yeast, and proving his bread for longer than the
legally established period….</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 166.0pt;">(The production of bread is regulated
here?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bugger me, I never knew that, but
Marcia has done the course, don’t forget)</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 166.0pt;">…so that a reduced amount of flour
and other essential ingredients results in the same size bun, but with less
weight. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 166.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In essence, Marcia was aggrieved about paying
for hot air.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> I agree with her 100%, long live the revolution.<br /></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 166.0pt;">Under the circumstances, I think
my best course of action is to keep the bird alive, and find a new baker.</p>
Hippohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09468795398813061897noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-9778714326307032652020-10-05T12:59:00.000+01:002020-10-05T12:59:04.011+01:00Never too old to set a goal...<p class="MsoNormal"> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgusAV5rPy7XKV8WXEwCKevQZnSO2Lb3EKRQ1Dd2idiZxJ51nxrqovTKIsLAXkeYXl9-G7epRxOpmaOf5hEcd8ZgH9qfButBAhqhdKCZoi3vOewPCKlN7_EL_yn-Wf30SH3x-TaVbZzcwnw/s1600/IMG-20200930-WA0003.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="559" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgusAV5rPy7XKV8WXEwCKevQZnSO2Lb3EKRQ1Dd2idiZxJ51nxrqovTKIsLAXkeYXl9-G7epRxOpmaOf5hEcd8ZgH9qfButBAhqhdKCZoi3vOewPCKlN7_EL_yn-Wf30SH3x-TaVbZzcwnw/w314-h559/IMG-20200930-WA0003.jpg" width="314" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Some old bloke and Her Britannic Majesty’s representative in
Angola, Her Excellency, Jessica Hand, British Ambassador.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="line-height: 107%;">Angola, landmine free by 2025.<span> </span>Now that is something worth working hard for
before senescence leads me to the scrap heap.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Need to see my tailor regarding the length of my trousers... <br /></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p> </p>Hippohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09468795398813061897noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-37917723138216460802020-09-18T17:48:00.007+01:002020-09-18T19:52:16.760+01:00A Surprisingly Inexpensive Taste of Paradise<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dxXNn4Er0JOmcbVMMJg-DDMUcCYD1LTLo254Lgq6Oqo-HYRpWAcqbD8Dn5qXm-6JSfVxbvll5mNEw4MDxyRDw' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><br /><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"> Marcia rang me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She
has the unerring ability to ring when I am at my busiest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">‘Andy!’ she gasped, clearly excited.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For some reason she always refers to me by
the diminutive of my second name, Andrew, rather than by the name under which I
have dragged myself through life, Thomas.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Sometimes I refer to her by something other than her given name, but
usually only when I am very annoyed, and definitely out of earshot.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">‘Deskontão are selling chocolate at 1,200 Kwanzas!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Can I buy it?’</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Now bear in mind that I was in the middle of calculating the
cost to the company in extra port and container detention fees occasioned by
the negligence of the shipping company who, for reasons known only to
themselves, unloaded our shipping containers into the wrong terminal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wasn’t dealing with a mere 1,200 kwanzas
(about US$1.50), I was trying to recover a 100,000 times that much, $150,000.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Now that for the first time in over a decade, the crust I
earn is paid in good old GBP, my salary is pretty much inflation and Kwanza
devaluation proof so, although I could see nothing remarkable in 1,200 kwanzas
for a bar of chocolate which, only a year or so ago probably cost around 200 kwanzas, much less why Marcia was ringing me to ask for
permission to buy one, it is still only very small change.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think a 100 gramme bar of Milka, my
favourite, is about that in Shoprite.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Clearly, the bar of chocolate offered by Deskontão had something more to
offer.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">‘Yes, go ahead, Marcia, buy it.’</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">‘Can I buy two?’</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">‘Sure, Marcia, fill yer boots…’ I hung up, only briefly
contemplating the enormous cultural divide, and its sometimes bizarre
consequences, between an African girl from the Angolan province of Uige, and a German bred
Englishman.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It doesn’t, I have found, do
to dwell on these differences too often as, sadly, it can easily lead to
conflict arising from misunderstanding.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Best just to accept we think differently and do things in (very)
different ways.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I went back to my
calculations.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I had been home less than an hour when Charlie came in
clutching a Bounty bar.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I have been away from UK TV and its adverts for more than
thirty years but I still remember the for then, pretty racy adverts for Bounty
chocolate bars; bronzed bikini clad young things slinking out of an azure
tropical sea to munch on Bounty bars under the shade of a palm tree, all
executed in a manner calculated to disquiet any adolescent with red blood in their veins.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Notice that the foregoing
sentences were gender neutral?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We must
all make a conscious effort to be inclusive and avoid offending, so I will
content myself with saying that as a young male looking at the only male in the
advert being fed Bounty bars by young ladies, with a promise of further
paradise to come, I couldn’t help feeling he was such a lucky bastard. The
adverts certainly did for me and I am sure are responsible, at least in part,
for my gipsy feet.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">‘Marcia!’ I exclaimed, ‘Bounty bars!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Are these the chocolates you bought at
Deskontão?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why did you buy only
two?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You should have bought loads!’<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I realize that Bounty chocolates contain two
bars per packet, so two packets would suffice to give the three children and
Marcia each a taste of paradise, but what about me?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am sure a little sniffle of self-pity
escaped me.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">‘I honestly think two is enough,’ said Marcia, very sternly, even for a girl from Uige, ‘otherwise
the children will get fat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, if you
are sure you want more, I can nip back and get some, I have to buy cream for
the cake anyway.’<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So cake lathered with
cream doesn’t make us fat, eh? ‘Please, Marcia, buy a few more!’</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">She returned from shopping and dumped two boxes of Bounty
bars on the table, each box containing 24 double bars of Bounty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did a quick mental calculation, 48 x 1,200
divided by the official exchange rate.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">‘Marcia, you just lashed out over 70 quid on Bounty bars?’</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">It’s this cultural divide thing again, I could see she was
bewildered by my simple arithmetic.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">‘That’s kicking the arse out of it,’ I continued, ‘I thought
you were worried about the children getting fat?’</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">‘Well, you were the one who told me to buy more,’ she snapped,
clearly irritated.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">She had obviously been very pleased with herself, and for us
let’s face it, for discovering such a delicacy, and it really seemed churlish
of me to pick fault, so I picked up the boxes and took them to the pantry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Where I discovered two more boxes of Bounty
bars, each containing 24 Bounties.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
now had 96 bars of Bounty, less the two already consumed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The shopping receipt was still on the kitchen
table so I had a quick squint.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Marcia had
paid 1,200 kwanzas for a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">box</i> of
Bounties.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bounties at five-pence
ha’penny apiece? Wow!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Sorry is so hard to say, especially with a gob full of
Bounty bar, but I will get around to it…</p>
<p> </p><p> </p>Hippohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09468795398813061897noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-38641449242879776812020-09-02T19:36:00.005+01:002020-09-02T20:03:06.329+01:00Older, perhaps wiser<p> ...or should I say: 'Proof of Life'...</p><p>I was a bit distressed to learn that an old mate of mine who had recently been in the 'Lundas' in NE Angola sorting out a hydro project, and had fled back to UK with a severe bout of malaria, was discovered by his sister dead in his rooms. I did not have the heart to ask if he still had his boots on, but knowing him, I bet he did.<br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEZsKJS0U98doUsc7A4kVgaFb2EXz6uid1cnyosSITzAJ3T6aUNcDKzXy_g8_2uNNcEcmFg7Qz5JycyIRGI5-Tb0FNsfbYps9V6zzSZ4dDBGckrnAESXUqqx2Iq6vsv2Y04E52_n93baXM/s2048/IMG_20200820_160119.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEZsKJS0U98doUsc7A4kVgaFb2EXz6uid1cnyosSITzAJ3T6aUNcDKzXy_g8_2uNNcEcmFg7Qz5JycyIRGI5-Tb0FNsfbYps9V6zzSZ4dDBGckrnAESXUqqx2Iq6vsv2Y04E52_n93baXM/s640/IMG_20200820_160119.jpg" /></a></div><p></p><p>I have passed by the barber's since this was taken last week. Doesn't do to cut my hair too often, or wash for that matter, confuses the dog...<br /></p>Hippohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09468795398813061897noreply@blogger.com27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-51866582324238464552020-09-02T00:10:00.002+01:002021-09-03T20:16:04.556+01:00In my humble opinion... Just wonderful<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dzAAsmUct2kA1lNURO6Ph0eyXyeLuaVaDRrugEkfEih_0MzgQ1AAYHelPiE7BzsEVeEuvMTssG-W2xwkLzUWg' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><br /><p></p>Hippohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09468795398813061897noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-35792859066426053512018-02-14T13:45:00.000+01:002018-02-14T13:45:38.710+01:00The Men That Don't Fit InThere's a race of men that don't fit in,<br />
<br />
A race that can't stay still;<br />
<br />
So they break the hearts of kith and kin,<br />
<br />
And they roam the world at will.<br />
<br />
They range the field and they rove the flood,<br />
<br />
And they climb the mountain's crest;<br />
<br />
Theirs is the curse of the gypsy blood,<br />
<br />
And they don't know how to rest.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
If they just went straight they might go far;<br />
<br />
They are strong and brave and true;<br />
<br />
But they're always tired of the things that are,<br />
<br />
And they want the strange and new.<br />
<br />
They say: "Could I find my proper groove,<br />
<br />
What a deep mark I would make!"<br />
<br />
So they chop and change, and each fresh move<br />
<br />
Is only a fresh mistake.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
And each forgets, as he strips and runs<br />
<br />
With a brilliant, fitful pace,<br />
<br />
It's the steady, quiet, plodding ones<br />
<br />
Who win in the lifelong race.<br />
<br />
And each forgets that his youth has fled,<br />
<br />
Forgets that his prime is past,<br />
<br />
Till he stands one day, with a hope that's dead,<br />
<br />
In the glare of the truth at last.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
He has failed, he has failed; he has missed his chance;<br />
<br />
He has just done things by half.<br />
<br />
Life's been a jolly good joke on him,<br />
<br />
And now is the time to laugh.<br />
<br />
Ha, ha! He is one of the Legion Lost;<br />
<br />
He was never meant to win;<br />
<br />
He's a rolling stone, and it's bred in the bone;<br />
<br />
He's a man who won't fit in.<br />
<br />
<i><b>Robert W. Service</b></i><br />
<br />
<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">Born January 16, 1874<br />Preston, Lancashire, England<br />Died September 11, 1958 (aged 84)<br />Lancieux, Côtes-d'Armor, France </span></i>Hippohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09468795398813061897noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-21442106217076120632015-03-18T23:20:00.000+01:002015-03-23T22:51:23.930+01:00Double Gosh and a Jolly Good Dollop of Golly!<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Remember
<a href="http://hippo-on-the-lawn.blogspot.com/2015/03/cobblers.html" target="_blank">this from Joseph Cheaney’s?<o:p></o:p></a></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Dear Mr Gowans,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Thank you for your email.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Although we ship worldwide we only currently offer
shipping to selected countries. Unfortunately Angola is a country that we are
unable to ship to at present.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Kind regards,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">John Pugh</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-language: PT;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<b><u><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif"; font-size: 8pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Internet
Sales Coordinator<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Cheaney Shoes Ltd <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Having survived
twenty years in Africa I wasn’t about to allow simple idleness to prevent me
slipping my feet into a well-made pair of boots.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Having been told to march off at the high
port by Cheaney’s, I wasn’t about to waste any more time trying to buy a pair
of their boots either, thus ending our thirty seven year relationship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">As all
young officers soon learn, if anyone tells you something is impossible, check
with the Regimental Sergeant Major, only on his say so is it really impossible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Appropriately, I found that the boots I
wanted were also made by a man called Alfred Sargent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He can’t spell his own surname but he does
make very good boots.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Given the
lethargy of UK suppliers, I was a little dismayed to discover that Alfred Sargent
Zug Grain Veldt Boots are about as rare as hen’s teeth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If Cheaney’s was an attitude endemic among
Northamptonshire boot makers, the chances of me finding a supplier sympathetic
to the logistic problems of getting a pair to me in Angola were slim.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wasn’t holding my breath then, when I wrote
to <a href="http://www.tredders.com/" target="_blank">Tredders of Castle Ashby, Suppliers of Fine Footwear</a>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Once again I explained that I lived in Angola
and was in urgent need of a pair of decent boots.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I didn't
think it possible to receive a reply shorter even than that of Mr. Pugh at
Cheaneys but I did:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">No problem Tom,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It is my pleasure.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Will you be paying by credit/debit card? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Kind Regards<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Glen Bogle</span></b><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Tredders Quality Footwear</span></b><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Tel</span></b><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">: 0845 121 4012<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><a href="http://www.tredders.com/" target="_blank">Tredders ofCastle Ashby</a> have their own regular shipping agent with whom they and their
clients are very satisfied but Mr. Bogle was nevertheless pleased to obtain a
shipping quote from my preferred shipper, DHL Express, and was shocked, he
wrote to me, at the price they quoted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
wasn’t, I had provided him the link to DHL and knew they wanted </span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">£172.95</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But, the man who was beginning to test my heterosexuality (I was
overcome with an inexplicable urge to have his babies) went on to say he had
approached his regular shipper and had asked him to try and get a better quote
from DHL, he’d get back to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Gosh!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Eight minutes later another
email from the soon to be canonized Mr. Bogle popped into my in box.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Express shipping with DHL would be </span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">£95.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Double gosh and a jolly good dollop of Golly!</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I would
have been grateful just to find a supplier willing to sell me the boots and let
DHL come and collect them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead I had
Saint Glen of Castle Ashby performing miracles for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If he bent any further backwards, he’d be
picking gravel out of his ears.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not only
was I going to cheat the Chancellor of his twenty pieces of silver, DHL were
not going to charge me the leg I needed to usefully employ the pair of boots
they were sending me.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Tredders of
Castle Ashby’s commitment to customer service is evident, even in their choice
of location.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They’re on the Castle Ashby
estate no doubt, so that the Marquess of Northampton’s footman doesn’t have too
far to walk to collect his master’s new boots, as well as providing an appropriate
environment in which other clients can road test their quality footwear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxWNs2WE-QS0-KpZY4oQgzanutypH_v3-FanXKCRETyDkuaObjPcloqbal0C0U3li-e6XpFOBgnh1R_Lz15L032fRA4h4oH-dLUbTR6ytl_S6L-LueIzQd-ktBqAo7YV4xiNHYQ9yJGgth/s1600/Boots+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxWNs2WE-QS0-KpZY4oQgzanutypH_v3-FanXKCRETyDkuaObjPcloqbal0C0U3li-e6XpFOBgnh1R_Lz15L032fRA4h4oH-dLUbTR6ytl_S6L-LueIzQd-ktBqAo7YV4xiNHYQ9yJGgth/s1600/Boots+1.jpg" height="282" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My new Alfred Sargent Zug Grain Veldt Boots and a blade appropriate to the boot style</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">You may
have noticed I haven’t yet mentioned the boots now in my possession, instead
using up my store of superlatives on Tredders of Castle Ashby.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The thing is, I am not the first expatriate
whose desire for old country quality has been thwarted by individuals unwilling
to lift even a finger to execute an order in any way unusual, so the discovery
of a supplier not only traditional in the quality of its products but also,
despite the laziness displayed by other on line outlets, still providing a
traditional customer service is something worth banging a drum for.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXzImftPLf3afB-ig-RLR33ptnjm9w658KendedTyt72b56djzbY4TwnrBVz0yPue8LBpt4Wq94A2J9hUsUHfhgjS2kayShO3TPKXX5rJBE3Ovc27-7fGBxaBNHq-cKrh7q9UmTLujFx61/s1600/Boots+3.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXzImftPLf3afB-ig-RLR33ptnjm9w658KendedTyt72b56djzbY4TwnrBVz0yPue8LBpt4Wq94A2J9hUsUHfhgjS2kayShO3TPKXX5rJBE3Ovc27-7fGBxaBNHq-cKrh7q9UmTLujFx61/s1600/Boots+3.jpeg" height="300" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="st">The lovely Angie, one of three young followers of St Glen of Castle Ashby </span><br />
<span class="st">all eager to help you slip into something comfortable.</span><br />
<span class="st">I have it on good authority they are black belts in Sokushindo</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I asked for
and paid their invoice and, six days later, I am wearing the boots I wanted,
the boots they had much pleasure selling me and I had great pleasure in buying.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There’s no question of Alfred Sargent’s boots
not being worth the money.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like their
shoes, they are hand made in Northampton using quality leather to a very high
standard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My boots are constructed using
the Veldtschoen method, which is traditional for English country and hiking
boots being sturdy, comfortable and waterproof.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The last pair of Veldtschoens I had lasted over thirty years and these
Alfred Sargents should do the same.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
boots they replaced I had bought in a hurry and they were the best I could get
at the time. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They were cheap (?!) at £145.00
and guaranteed for life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Yes, the
manufacturer, Doc Martens, guaranteed that if the boots failed in my lifetime
they would repair or replace them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Three
years into the rest of my life the sole separated from the uppers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But the boots giving up the ghost was only
the end of a sorry saga.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I quickly found
while walking through the bush that every thorny bit of vegetation I stepped on
would pierce through the air cushioned sole effectively nailing the branch to
my foot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After a couple months the boots
looked shabby and no amount of polish improved the situation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span></span> </div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhivJoPG_ACunFfDAU81gSbwvvE8xY9E3N0uLpEt_kUOZZ4P64MAi0wVUNDSyiczaDpQkQcwEzOZdqw9uEl00KOgr7BGJbH1X6zqphcFmpe5OZGqmBr_Enaj8e6F2KcpoaAGsNSG49C-C4C/s1600/Boots+4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhivJoPG_ACunFfDAU81gSbwvvE8xY9E3N0uLpEt_kUOZZ4P64MAi0wVUNDSyiczaDpQkQcwEzOZdqw9uEl00KOgr7BGJbH1X6zqphcFmpe5OZGqmBr_Enaj8e6F2KcpoaAGsNSG49C-C4C/s1600/Boots+4.jpg" height="273" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A false economy</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>No amount of polish could stop them leaking
either.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After a year or so the what can
only be described as cardboard insole perished and the soles were so perforated
and flat that instead of the air cushioned ride I was promised, stepping on ants
bruised my feet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They were a complete
waste of money and one of the reasons I never bothered to test their guarantee.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will never wear a pair of Doc Martens again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The other reason, of course, was that it would
cost me more to send the boots back than they were worth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My Alfred Sargents, on the other hand, will
only have to last me six years and they will work out cheaper than the Doc
Martens.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I have been
wearing my Alfie Esses all day and even though they are new, they are very comfortable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They do make a bit of a clumping noise as I
walk across the wood floors of the cottage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This annoys Marcia but to me is quite reassuring; they are obviously
sturdy enough to be snake proof but with the seismic they create, any snake in
the vicinity will have buggered off long before I get to squash it into the
ground. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As for the Goodyear welted
sole, it’ll be nice to take a walk in the bush without worrying about my feet being
pinned to the countryside.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Marcia has
found all this fuss over a pair of boots quite amusing but, being a girl, it is
as hard for her to understand how important a single pair of good boots is to a
man as it is for a man to understand why a woman needs more shoes than there
are days in a year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She had the last word
as I sat down to type this.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">‘I suppose
we shall be burying you in your new boots then?’<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">No you
bloody won’t, I thought, these will be passed down to Alex.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></span> </div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyqvqIdjKZRhQvgd8hzHWRWCpNt-_EdJ6YhMp_T7WzUCrgyPsXdwsh_ahdCabuyGhe7ZtAAH7Btg4KHa0hEhLoah4-8KiL141V1L27SMAHbHI2yNhcrmpmYvtoPzChcdbgnXbTyLrSkrR3/s1600/Boots+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyqvqIdjKZRhQvgd8hzHWRWCpNt-_EdJ6YhMp_T7WzUCrgyPsXdwsh_ahdCabuyGhe7ZtAAH7Btg4KHa0hEhLoah4-8KiL141V1L27SMAHbHI2yNhcrmpmYvtoPzChcdbgnXbTyLrSkrR3/s1600/Boots+2.jpg" height="400" width="256" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Alex road testing my boots waving another sword appropriate to his shirt</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><o:p></o:p></span></span> </div>
Hippohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09468795398813061897noreply@blogger.com83tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-24649277652450322702015-03-18T12:14:00.001+01:002015-03-18T12:16:16.443+01:00Solar eclipse to disrupt German power system <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBto3hXHBSHL0ouEpgmg2baWEzqW-fizQl28q-5hyCuDtFkcro-l76OgpZWLffHqsaUXlkqWsjlSCwxu1AYXceILhf6VVgJRCJUgRldu4wBar_lmNPRprf8gnzw86oLBsAwtq85YO0J4AF/s1600/Solar+Eclipse.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBto3hXHBSHL0ouEpgmg2baWEzqW-fizQl28q-5hyCuDtFkcro-l76OgpZWLffHqsaUXlkqWsjlSCwxu1AYXceILhf6VVgJRCJUgRldu4wBar_lmNPRprf8gnzw86oLBsAwtq85YO0J4AF/s1600/Solar+Eclipse.jpg" height="230" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
"Power operators in Germany are bracing for potential disruption from the
solar eclipse expected on Friday, which will knock out almost all
solar-generated electricity in an "unprecedented" test for the
network."<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
Makes me wonder how they manage when it unexpectedly gets dark every night...Hippohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09468795398813061897noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-15651799354887062862015-03-15T20:06:00.000+01:002015-03-15T22:36:45.693+01:00You Know You Want It<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Have you
ever caught a glimpse of something and for no logical reason, really wanted
it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">This
weekend was a bit of a wash out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It wasn’t
convenient for me to collect Dominic this weekend which was a huge
disappointment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Still, I was still
looking forward to golf with Alex followed by lunch at the Mangais
restaurant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The first F1 race of the
season was kicking off in Australia so, with them being hours ahead of us, it
looked as though today would be an early start, Formula One over breakfast,
golf and then a leisurely lunch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not a
bad way to spend a day.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It started
raining last night and it chucked it down all through the night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Alex woke up half way through the race so I
made him breakfast while we sat with faces glum as the rain thumped the roof
and Hamilton drove 58 times round Adelaide.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>With one Ferrari out, Alex was only half interested so spent his time
running in and out of the cottage to prove to me that he wasn’t getting that
wet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He really wanted to play golf and I
think he has the right temperament to be good at it; only a madman would want
to go out in a torrential downpour and knock a ball around.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">For his sake,
I was praying it would stop raining but had given myself a deadline of nine-thirty;
if it hadn’t stopped by then, I’d call the instructor and confirm what he
already probably presumed, we weren’t coming.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We got ourselves dressed and at the appointed time, the rain
stopped.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We hadn’t even made it to the
main road when, with an almighty clap of thunder, the heavens opened again with
a real vengeance and suddenly we weren’t riding bikes, we were navigating a
river.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Alex rode into a pothole and was
stuck. I tried to turn round, caught my front wheel in a submerged rut and went
over the handlebars grazing ankle, knee, shoulder and head.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">‘Oh dear,’
I said.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I wasn’t
going to quit first, though.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I remember
once really wanting to do something with my father, we had tickets to the Motor
Show at Earls Court but the weather was so bad, so atrocious, that he had
second thoughts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The forecast was for
freezing fog, black ice, downed power lines, jack-knifed lorries and closed
roads.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think they were even thinking
of calling the Army out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When my dad
cancelled, I thought he was a wimp.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Alex and I
made it onto the dirt road on the Golf course before he bogged in again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was finding it hard going but not even in
the lowest of his eighteen gears could Alex make any headway at all. We couldn’t
even walk in the stuff, two steps and the morass had sucked our shoes off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even though he looked miserable as hell with
the conditions, he still left it to me to suggest we knocked it on the head and
went home.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Alex went straight
in and I rinsed the mud off the bikes under the deluge cascading off the
roof.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Marcia came out onto the veranda,
obviously having made none of the preparations women usually subject themselves
to if they know they will be seen in public.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">‘Are we
still going for lunch?’ she asked.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">‘Of course,
darling, I’ll just get changed’<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Somehow,
the thought of sitting in an air-conditioned restaurant in the middle of a
thunderstorm didn’t really appeal to me, half the fun was being able to sit on
the deck over the river and enjoy the scenery but if they really wanted to go,
we would.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">By the time
Alex and I were showered and dressed again, Marcia had changed her mind (come
to her senses, more like).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This suited
me fine, now Alex was blaming her instead of me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I rustled up as nice a lunch as I could and
afterwards listlessly read a book.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even
though I had selected a Frederick Forsyth, staple fare for anyone bored out of
their skull, I couldn’t get into it, instead becoming increasingly annoyed with
every technical error: ‘A shaped charge only blasts forward…’, bollocks, try
standing behind a High Explosive Anti-Tank shaped charge when it goes off, it’ll
do a bit more than ruffle your hair.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s
like Hollywood when the hero fires a recoilless weapon from inside a car. Jesus, they’d only do it once in real life.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So I
started to scroll through past auction results and realized I had just missed
Maximilian Schell’s old car.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maximilian
Schell was a fantastic stage and screen actor, one of a bunch of post war
German speaking actors who starred opposite American and British counterparts
in every classic war movie as either snarling Nazis or, usually in Schell’s
case, reasonable Wehrmacht or Luftwaffe officers coming to terms with what was
turning out to be a bit of a losing streak.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>When, in ‘A Bridge Too Far,’<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>the
characters of Hardy Kruger and Maximilian Schell were discussing where and why
all these British paratroopers were landing and the possibility they were after
the General, Hardy Kruger said, in German, ‘Perhaps they’ve already landed in
the General’s soup’ to which, with an impeccable delivery Schell replied, ‘Yes,
you’d like that, wouldn’t you?’<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Brilliant.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Now I
wouldn’t pay a premium to own a car just because a famous bum had nestled in
its upholstery but I would be interested in a one owner, molly-coddled example
of an R107 Mercedes SL.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The car had been
bought for Herr Schell new by the MFG film studio in 1977 and he had kept it
ever since.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He took it for its last
outing aged 82 when he married his long-time girlfriend who was 35 years his
junior.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At the time this induced a bit
of friendly speculation as to which was older, the car or his bride.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Clearly he loved both.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The thing that made his SL special for me was
the trim, gorgeous blue coachwork over a saddle tan leather interior.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would have enjoyed Maximilian Schell’s car
knowing that he and I had the same taste.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiCgEWgVB7ElZ71Z42DvPQvAWhK-9Drm3WJfS9S6B-_T7xwglmjJZZPtCu-V6K030pt-w_YESIsJoUNsZ3nku7bCL8apkdTt-8Us0RY7KJuavfiDHanlKDSvmPBJpQ4qKvC6GZB7b9kbOA/s1600/715233_1_MAXIMILIAN_SCHELL_HEIRATET__-_MAXIMILIAN_SCHELL_HEIRATET__-_APA-Bilderdienst_-_20_08_13_-_19_15_-_ABD0066_-_Vollbild.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiCgEWgVB7ElZ71Z42DvPQvAWhK-9Drm3WJfS9S6B-_T7xwglmjJZZPtCu-V6K030pt-w_YESIsJoUNsZ3nku7bCL8apkdTt-8Us0RY7KJuavfiDHanlKDSvmPBJpQ4qKvC6GZB7b9kbOA/s1600/715233_1_MAXIMILIAN_SCHELL_HEIRATET__-_MAXIMILIAN_SCHELL_HEIRATET__-_APA-Bilderdienst_-_20_08_13_-_19_15_-_ABD0066_-_Vollbild.jpg" height="270" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The exquisite taste of the late Maximilian Schell, a Magnetitblau-metallic V8 Mercedes SL <br />
with saddle tan leather upholstery and an opera singer.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The auction
house which handled the sale of this car also does fine art.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know nothing about fine art except that I
can’t afford it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Still, it’s nice to
look at so I thought I would scan the lots in their forthcoming Easter
sale.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They give you the choice of either
downloading their pdf catalogue or just scanning an excel style list with thumbnail
images.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I chose the latter, hardly the
best way to appreciate what I was looking at but I pay per Mb here so I am
tight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The sale is
in Salzburg so there were the expected religious paintings, mountainous
landscapes and figures in lederhosen and I was scrolling faster and faster when
my eye was caught by a quite unremarkable painting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It appeared to be a group of five figures
standing somewhere forlorn but it was the way the subjects were arranged, almost
in two distinct groups that attracted me so I clicked on the link to go to the
more detailed page.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With a much higher
resolution I could see that there was definitely something going on there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This was a depiction of two groups, together
in space and time but separated by some strong emotion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could see in posture and expression, the
bleakness and lack of detail in the landscape, the pile of discarded garments the
strength of feeling between the participants.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There was a story here, raw and savage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Then I looked at the title of the painting, ‘Duel on the Beach.’<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I have no
idea who Alfeo Argentieri was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He may be
considered a painter of daubs, a waster of good canvas and paint but in my opinion
here he has caught men at their most intimate, when they are about to try and
kill each other.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It isn’t a
large painting, only 40 x 60 cms, and he has been a bit mean with the
paint in places.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is described as ‘Krakelee,
Reinigungsbedürftig’, which means it is dirty and the paint is cracked but I
like it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I like it so much I’m going to
have a punt on it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I may be buying what
the knowledgeable would be too polite to describe as a heap of shit, I don’t
care. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I suppose that’s what art is
all about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It isn’t to brighten a room
up or cover an unsightly patch in the plaster, it isn’t to fit in with the décor,
it is something far more personal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even
as a 200 pixel wide thumbnail, it caught my eye and I have been staring at the
high resolution image of it I downloaded all afternoon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know that if I am lucky enough to own this painting,
it will give me pleasure every time I look at it. </span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I know exactly where it is
going to go, right above my desk.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb_JJqI30zaM-y0KyM3ZZul10JgWTE5YUIE31-Cucrn0wObZqjV24Lvhh7bZlTjeNWHq-6ZlEctJc8pTBDOUf3T6x7NyRx7vFWTC_w3eEMPdFVD25ZvGyHJ2hbxFua6VYrFYSJmzxpphu5/s1600/Duel+on+the+Beach.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb_JJqI30zaM-y0KyM3ZZul10JgWTE5YUIE31-Cucrn0wObZqjV24Lvhh7bZlTjeNWHq-6ZlEctJc8pTBDOUf3T6x7NyRx7vFWTC_w3eEMPdFVD25ZvGyHJ2hbxFua6VYrFYSJmzxpphu5/s1600/Duel+on+the+Beach.jpg" height="250" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One of these gentlemen has seen his last sunrise.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Hippohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09468795398813061897noreply@blogger.com34tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-23152748477474565942015-03-12T20:42:00.000+01:002015-03-12T20:42:10.884+01:00Trudging Through Treacle
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicceUtzY0gGrE3W9d3H3j2VMGyMyFRD4kLzTmQ6cvTlg1Yg3l3LW9kM_7Wi-fhWqVa6vjHlDihPOunvOCKj5mgh9ko1uQL7CcOGwdsQzBBLrWRy0CmQVxyJFHdH1zR1gEthXIrV5mKz5br/s1600/20150312_153239.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicceUtzY0gGrE3W9d3H3j2VMGyMyFRD4kLzTmQ6cvTlg1Yg3l3LW9kM_7Wi-fhWqVa6vjHlDihPOunvOCKj5mgh9ko1uQL7CcOGwdsQzBBLrWRy0CmQVxyJFHdH1zR1gEthXIrV5mKz5br/s1600/20150312_153239.jpg" height="400" width="296" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It has been
raining a lot here recently. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is
good, we haven’t had decent downpours in years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>As well as knocking out all communications and the satellite TV, rain
clears the air, brings out the flowers which in turn bring out the butterflies
and humming birds.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sadly, it also brings
out these:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX8LspzURPg3LgGVDDaf6j2P4GqQYbzlsSLuKs8gpKf873t6TuAGW5rquH4T5pRpNm2ma8VQRrhtGwBSBXy79c5Lh20RvZVAW6pVOEUn7H8Q3mn5ma2-V4hmqlLeqJZHpYmZVIqtAI7lHj/s1600/DSC01024.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX8LspzURPg3LgGVDDaf6j2P4GqQYbzlsSLuKs8gpKf873t6TuAGW5rquH4T5pRpNm2ma8VQRrhtGwBSBXy79c5Lh20RvZVAW6pVOEUn7H8Q3mn5ma2-V4hmqlLeqJZHpYmZVIqtAI7lHj/s1600/DSC01024.jpg" height="400" width="225" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I killed
three today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Charlie is a bloody useless
ratter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’ll catch them but not kill
them, he’ll just stand there like a dope with the thing shrieking in his jaws
and then, just as I get to him, he’ll drop the bugger.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I arm myself with a club so that I at
least stand a sporting chance of being able to twat the bastard thing as it
scurries off, he drops them all the sooner.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I have never beaten Charlie but clearly the sight of me approaching him
swinging a 3 wood has made him decide against taking any chances.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Rocky seems keen to have a go but I can’t
blame him for backing away from a cornered rat, especially rats this size.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Rocky has
settled in well and is beginning to obey simple orders such as ‘Drop that shoe
NOW you little shit!’ and when it comes to food, he is a walking swill bin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do you remember this photo taken soon after I
had found, scrubbed and fed him?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxnqwTuK5bPkxL89_9rCdAXo4Y92ANA2uMz2k-GhyN11-N8HwggIvOq9BAGfONimk_-DsLvNCGp579SL0OMM2lYANpcqPprIEKyYsWG0dMtC7XBFTH0XBicI7Wjo8qv0w6u0S87jM5MkH5/s1600/DSC00775.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxnqwTuK5bPkxL89_9rCdAXo4Y92ANA2uMz2k-GhyN11-N8HwggIvOq9BAGfONimk_-DsLvNCGp579SL0OMM2lYANpcqPprIEKyYsWG0dMtC7XBFTH0XBicI7Wjo8qv0w6u0S87jM5MkH5/s1600/DSC00775.JPG" height="225" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">He is still
very fond of what was supposed to be his temporary basket and sheet and when I
make up a larger bed for him and take the basket away, I can hear his little
nails rattling to and fro across the floor all night as he searches for somewhere
he wants to lie down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Between circuits he will stop, scratch on the
bedroom door and whine piteously.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
always crack, return his basket and give him a bowl of milk to shut him up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His diet of beef, chicken, liver, heart and
milk seems to be working for him, look at him now just three weeks later:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEMdbgac4LTw5nT-qjLc0HYXbJtbysbJ2QsKWd0z1hz4X9clQ3YsCMu4rLyfqTqufTzvqwRon0Bu0BNT_8o55JbXdcEHXPYxkwxX6SdGujJ-4LPti63UpBSgB1dNarjQNY6eH9Pv7sf9eX/s1600/DSC01019.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEMdbgac4LTw5nT-qjLc0HYXbJtbysbJ2QsKWd0z1hz4X9clQ3YsCMu4rLyfqTqufTzvqwRon0Bu0BNT_8o55JbXdcEHXPYxkwxX6SdGujJ-4LPti63UpBSgB1dNarjQNY6eH9Pv7sf9eX/s1600/DSC01019.jpg" height="296" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A few posts
ago I came in for some real ribbing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Some of you suggested I looked a bit of a state so I decided to do
something about it and get a haircut.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Unless you were transfixed by the rat above, you may even have noticed.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKh2dIu54eox_j3EXqhyphenhyphendxkWKhN33oeFYzE_8Ek7D-SeonkTRwdirKSVG900C7UcgQQhPlJHXJ5nDwaI29ak3psLrNA811kjlWRUBkmZ74TwhQoIObKl3A_OtvAvkrviUmBBPqPc0vkGhu/s1600/DSC01039.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKh2dIu54eox_j3EXqhyphenhyphendxkWKhN33oeFYzE_8Ek7D-SeonkTRwdirKSVG900C7UcgQQhPlJHXJ5nDwaI29ak3psLrNA811kjlWRUBkmZ74TwhQoIObKl3A_OtvAvkrviUmBBPqPc0vkGhu/s1600/DSC01039.jpg" height="400" width="273" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Two Germans and a Boy</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Harald
Klein came for lunch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Alex really likes
Klein.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He thinks Klein is such a nice
man who always lavishes plenty of attention on him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Klein also always brings Alex a big bag of
chocolates which I am sure have nothing whatsoever to do with Alex’s affection
for the man.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Klein is a German, born in
Angola soon after Diogo Cão discovered the place, who owns a few thousand
hectares in Kwanza Sul, most of them covered in the Silky Oak trees I am going
to chop down and stuff through my workshop.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>For a long time during the civil war, Klein did what most of the white
farmers who hadn’t been killed and buried on their own land did and retreated
to Luanda which was where I met him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At
the time I had access to vehicles and men armed to the teeth so we decided we
would take a peek at his farm and try and find out what happened to his
neighbours, also German.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sadly, both had
been trashed, only the mute remains of derelict buildings and a small mound of
stones beneath which lay his neighbours.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Now that
title to his land has been restored to him, he is trying very hard to make a go
of what was once a coffee plantation (hence all those Silky Oak trees which
were imported to provide shade to the coffee plants).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is the same old story, though.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Farms do not spring to life overnight, they
require years of effort and tons of investment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Klein has neither time left nor cash and he knows, with no descendants
to whom he can pass the farm, the locals already encroaching his land are just
waiting for him to die.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Another neighbour
of his owns the sawmill local to his plantation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We saw that too as we made our incursion deep
into UNITA territory all those years ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The rebels had destroyed everything they could not steal, it was bloody
heart breaking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Amazingly, after
hostilities ceased in 2002, he returned there and got the mill going again but
without the proper investment, all he could do was enough to stop himself
starving.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Klein tells me he wants to
throw in the towel, get what he can and bugger off back to Europe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Klein has
the trees so owning a mill as well seems a good idea on paper.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Klein went to the bank to see if he could
raise the capital needed to buy his neighbour out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This would require a lot less capital and provide a far
quicker return than buying everything he needed to get the land tilled and
replanted with coffee plants, and then wait years for the crop to build up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Interest rates are a lot higher in Angola
than they are in Europe but it wasn’t this that put him off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am quite surprised he wasn’t aware of this
but then again, if he has never approached a bank here for a loan before, there
is no reason he should.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I think
that’s why he came to lunch. He needed someone to listen to him vent his spleen
who wouldn’t immediately report him to the racism police.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whatever amount you borrow from the bank, a
percentage of it goes into the pocket of the bank official who authorized the
loan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you aren’t willing to pay, you
don’t get the loan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So the only people
who are willing to take out a loan are those who don’t mind being stung because
they have absolutely no intention of repaying it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The bank officials don’t care, it isn’t their
money they’re losing and they are on a roll.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’d have
been bloody angry in his position too; they demanded 20% so obviously
considered him desperate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you tell
them to get stuffed and then negotiate hard, you can get them down to 5%.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUMxaSP1iHJiTE62hbx3mhxUgsD1xFzHnZDILgrjiTfkG4fEcl81yZWyKQWkMX9lyf9opHteuz6pk80ZXPv7VennbYRV8kL0JBe6SKCOBLHLdm0zh6m5eJpoTQDCxXdAlWGtJSlgXUFBjS/s1600/20150312_151554.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUMxaSP1iHJiTE62hbx3mhxUgsD1xFzHnZDILgrjiTfkG4fEcl81yZWyKQWkMX9lyf9opHteuz6pk80ZXPv7VennbYRV8kL0JBe6SKCOBLHLdm0zh6m5eJpoTQDCxXdAlWGtJSlgXUFBjS/s1600/20150312_151554.jpg" height="226" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Two Germans and a Puppy sitting to table</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The Euro
has taken quite a bashing recently but I think parity with the dollar is about
as far as it will go so wanted to get some dollars out and into a Euro account
in Germany.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The bank told me that I
could send money out for personal reasons, say to support a relative, but the
limit was $2,000.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I wanted to send it
to a commercial account, I could send as much as I had in my account but it had
to be against a commercial invoice for which I had obtained, and paid the tax
on, an import licence.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Doing business
here is like trudging through treacle.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgam4npYgqmaoGrraiJtN53-p0YB24EG0kszZRM9_tSpm6Co5lWcfNlJok6sgf3Jcrolw5HMu9OqEkrrGnScU7woFfkHlrYS2uj3oKN5t_igoNTE9CRtdEAk_cdHfqnpXJkUcJfDCQT4CS9/s1600/DSC01054.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgam4npYgqmaoGrraiJtN53-p0YB24EG0kszZRM9_tSpm6Co5lWcfNlJok6sgf3Jcrolw5HMu9OqEkrrGnScU7woFfkHlrYS2uj3oKN5t_igoNTE9CRtdEAk_cdHfqnpXJkUcJfDCQT4CS9/s1600/DSC01054.jpg" height="225" width="400" /></a></div>
Hippohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09468795398813061897noreply@blogger.com31tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-25802082557136261422015-03-09T22:04:00.000+01:002015-03-09T22:26:55.080+01:00Dominic is Sixteen TodayAnd all I get to see of him is a couple of bleeding Selfies...<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNafTeE_jEUcCbfINVwaqRKMf1Xh_n2sgsr6EcsayeXztXMHCZwUpcaBxOhNLTpavA41TT0fFbh_qjbWxtNvJMU3OrQxCynotE4K8WB_05Bq25JBHpLo1TCqSSxbBnFZP4PZcMPjypmEv3/s1600/front+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNafTeE_jEUcCbfINVwaqRKMf1Xh_n2sgsr6EcsayeXztXMHCZwUpcaBxOhNLTpavA41TT0fFbh_qjbWxtNvJMU3OrQxCynotE4K8WB_05Bq25JBHpLo1TCqSSxbBnFZP4PZcMPjypmEv3/s1600/front+2.jpg" height="400" width="300" /></a></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRYBJZj9UzndIxUyv6DjErAy7_qO38k9VwTnw1egb6JetVNC3pa_9sSvUfKEmWqQp7sSBYLmJ8cNc1FAtOxTac3FGCkF1Z3gSRrNIP8hTLkSDbn31y43JCV-JRP0l24-aKGIpclfOdzpyi/s1600/front.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRYBJZj9UzndIxUyv6DjErAy7_qO38k9VwTnw1egb6JetVNC3pa_9sSvUfKEmWqQp7sSBYLmJ8cNc1FAtOxTac3FGCkF1Z3gSRrNIP8hTLkSDbn31y43JCV-JRP0l24-aKGIpclfOdzpyi/s1600/front.jpg" height="400" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Right elbow Son, it's too low...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Happy Birthday, Son, I'll see you at the weekend.Hippohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09468795398813061897noreply@blogger.com37tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-23635433704152893402015-03-08T15:59:00.000+01:002015-03-09T16:14:09.665+01:00'Bitter? I'm not Bitter!' said the Lemon to the Lime<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">‘The boy
has talent,’ the golf pro reassured me as he took my bundle of notes, counted
them and placed them in the till.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> After just one session with him, </span>Sr.
Pedro had just persuaded me to sign Alex up for extra, one-on-one tuition.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">‘I want him
to be the next Tiger Woods,’ I said.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">‘Oh no, he’ll
never be the next Tiger Woods,’ said Sr. Pedro closing the drawer of the till
and handing me the receipt, ‘he’ll be the first Alex.’<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Ok, I can
live with that.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Circumstance
has presented us with a wonderful opportunity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>How many parents have such a sporting facility right on their
doorstep?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A facility, staffed by child
friendly professionals, one you don’t have to pay through the nose or queue
for bloody hours to get into?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Why did it
have to be golf?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why couldn’t I have
decided to live next to a motor racing circuit?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Each lesson
is an hour and a half, which I think is plenty long enough to test the
attention span of a six year old. If it hadn’t been because I could watch
my son doing anything for hours on end and not tire of it, I’d have been bored
watching people bat balls over the horizon in about thirty seconds. The
pro told me to make myself scarce as he did not want me distracting the lad so
I had to do something else besides encouraging the other practicing golf
batters with an occasional, 'Oh, shot!'. I rode home again.</span></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I am really
enjoying my bike.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Alex is too but all
kids do, don’t they?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My problem is
Charlie.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s grown accustomed to
accompanying me everywhere (yes, even there, Marcia gets so annoyed) which was
fine while I was riding Shank’s pony but bloody annoying now that I am on a
bike.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I want to go anywhere further
than I used to walk, I have to hit the main road.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Charlie has no road sense whatsoever and one other
habit which, while we are in the bush doesn’t matter a damn but is potentially
lethal near a main road, he likes to herd animals.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The first
time Alex and I rode our bikes, he ran alongside us, which was very sweet until
we got within a hundred yards of the main road.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There Charlie spotted a herd of goats in the bush and hurtled off after
them.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">‘Quick,
Alex!’ I said, ‘while Charlie is distracted, we can shoot across the road to
the petrol station and put air into the tyres!’<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So we quickly scooted across the main road and onto the garage
forecourt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We had crossed
carefully.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is a very busy road; it
is the M1 for Angola, the main drag south from the capital city.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Charlie
didn’t cross carefully; he wasn’t paying any attention to the traffic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All his attention was devoted to herding the
astonished and increasingly panic stricken goats he had found across the main
road to join us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some of the guys who
pump petrol there know Charlie is my dog.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The owner of the station lunches every day at my place; he knows Charlie
is my dog.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As the screech of brakes, the
shrieking of tyres and the bleating of goats grew to a terrifying crescendo I
stood frozen to the spot, fighting incontinence, my mind racing as I calculated
the potential astronomic total of multiple suits for compensation.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">To get to
the golf course, you have to cross the main road near the petrol station.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There was no way Charlie was coming with
us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wives do much to irritate their
husbands and husbands do much to irritate their wives, this is in the nature of
things when you place two people of opposite sex, therefore, other than for
procreation, entirely incompatible, into prolonged close proximity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Marcia excelled this morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Three times I captured Charlie and locked him
in the spare bedroom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Three times, just
as Alex and I were about to set off, Marcia remembered something in that room so
important to her continued survival that were she denied it for one second
longer she would expire on the spot.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">‘But he
just pushed by me!’ Marcia wailed as I cursed her and chased Charlie.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Since Alex was smartly dressed, I thought I
should make an effort so had ditched the ratty boots, long socks and shorts in
favour of suede brogues, pressed slacks and a crisp white shirt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well there was nothing bloody crisp about
them after I had wrestled Charlie a few times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We were going to be so late.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By
this stage Charlie had wised up so was coming nowhere near the house, instead
sitting down the road in the direction he knew we were about to go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bastard.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">‘Go and
start the car, Marcia,’ I ordered.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">‘And go
where?’<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">‘I don’t
care where, anywhere, off into the bush. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You
can drive into the bloody sea so long as Charlie follows you!’<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">You may
wonder then, why I chose to ride home again risking a repeat performance,
rather than hang around a golf course.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Well, to be honest, even though Sr Faisca, the owner of Mangais resort
is always very civil with me, I can’t help feeling that every time he looks at
me he sees ‘failure’ writ large across my forehead.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My restaurant would have been open three
years ago were it not for this boundary dispute.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The court judgment, when it eventually comes,
will be in our favour but until then we are buggered.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sr. Faisca seems to go out of his way to be
nice to me, I have no idea why.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He once
drove me all around the golf course while it was being constructed and even
seemed to be taking note of the opinion of mine he had solicited on the works
so far.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Try as I might, I got no sense
he was rubbing my nose in it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Still, I
compare his place to mine and I can’t help feeling pretty low.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">This time I
had Charlie penned in before he knew what was happening.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Marcia was in the shop so just in case she
snuck up behind me and let the dog out again while I was bent over fiddling with my
bicycle clips, I locked the cottage and only gave her the key as I passed the
shop.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Alex was
still batting balls when I got back to the course.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXGlDz6RVHHNlNfqDLGge7qX2eRcqkGyPSSjeQ1NglWcXIzdvRvA9wLWquMFjgHKbq6Q671l4WYG4toobnnREk_A_1VDiwjnO-K97lwQ6P1SRK9R4Uz7g0y2wxrTjBfJk_icBy04UtnV92/s1600/DSC01002.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXGlDz6RVHHNlNfqDLGge7qX2eRcqkGyPSSjeQ1NglWcXIzdvRvA9wLWquMFjgHKbq6Q671l4WYG4toobnnREk_A_1VDiwjnO-K97lwQ6P1SRK9R4Uz7g0y2wxrTjBfJk_icBy04UtnV92/s1600/DSC01002.JPG" height="225" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We decided that pink trousers and a bright blue shirt were sufficiently stupid for golf.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">‘Look
Daddy, look!’ he cried as I pulled up, ‘I can hit the ball MILES!’<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was in such a hurry to prove it to me that
with his next swing he took a bloody great divot out of the tee.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He doesn’t know it yet, but what just happened
to him is called the Vorführeffekt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like
the German word gemütlich, there is no literal translation to English.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Basically vorführeffekt means the more people
there are watching you demonstrate something you are normally very good at, the
more likely you are to fuck it up.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">In order to
pay for his lesson, Alex and I had to go with the pro to the clubhouse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The club house is co-located with the restaurant
shame, embarrassment, insecurity, whatever, had persuaded me to avoid all this
time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is very nice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Really nice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I feel uncomfortable taking photos inside a restaurant so you’ll have to take my word for it that it is as nice inside as
out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Actually, it's nicer, there’s no
airconditioning outside.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Having been
persuaded to part with more to ensure private tuition for Alex, we were just on
our way out when we ran into Sr. Faisca.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">While
riding around the golf course the first day we had our bikes out, Alex and I
had met Sr. Faisca coming the other way in his car.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He had made to pull over, presumably for a
chat but I was in no mood to talk to him so, quite rudely I suppose, I just
pushed on.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">‘Are you
here to eat, Sr. Thomas?’ he asked stretching out his hand to shake mine and
then in that uncomfortably familiar way the Portuguese have, pulling me close
for a hug.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">‘No, Sr.
Faisca,’ I said, ‘I am just paying Alex’s golf lessons’<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">‘But you
MUST come to eat, I really want your opinion of the food! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Come, let me show you…’<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">He dragged
me in for a tour of the restaurant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Since
I was with Sr. Faisca, members of staff who had ignored me only a few moments
before were eager to meet me.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I shan’t
bore you with a description of everything I saw, save that in my opinion he had
been miserly with the dimensions of the underfloor beams (the silverware on the
tables trembled a little as we passed), but the tour finished with an introduction
to the restaurant manageress, Sra. Sofia who graciously received Sr. Faisca’s
instructions to look after Marcia and I royally if we ever chose to dine
there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I wasn’t
really that impressed with him for remembering my wife’s name.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anyone who has ever met Marcia takes a while
to get over it but I will give him one thing, if he is taking the piss, he’s a
master at it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I booked a
table for next Sunday.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivFMJAsOHxZ4g2gS9oQTm5FapXb1fkyCEdR_b5jasuhHHpz8MyE0O6xlRrGR5ymgUCgVqsmMIOuh8V4xBOvlQ6x61xy3AeHqW5YfOv086YCJzk6jfLs5WswSgBMNwz_TnYTcapaUtfmdyO/s1600/DSC01009.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivFMJAsOHxZ4g2gS9oQTm5FapXb1fkyCEdR_b5jasuhHHpz8MyE0O6xlRrGR5ymgUCgVqsmMIOuh8V4xBOvlQ6x61xy3AeHqW5YfOv086YCJzk6jfLs5WswSgBMNwz_TnYTcapaUtfmdyO/s1600/DSC01009.JPG" height="225" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mangais Restaurant</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTPH6jCuJiO4FWoRmvxpDyE9mLu3QoowcYPHHBjqrTMYMSqWPmnl-19MiO5WiOFxpBNjqID1GEQK1iQdSZVrI_1xXm55EaMg2C7fBdv_ZpQZRFNHrV7pyXadqebMwgdTgS8RhkKwVx62rR/s1600/DSC01005.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTPH6jCuJiO4FWoRmvxpDyE9mLu3QoowcYPHHBjqrTMYMSqWPmnl-19MiO5WiOFxpBNjqID1GEQK1iQdSZVrI_1xXm55EaMg2C7fBdv_ZpQZRFNHrV7pyXadqebMwgdTgS8RhkKwVx62rR/s1600/DSC01005.JPG" height="225" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">As I said, child friendly.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaHT0Jrbd5lmpT5ImY2msWVksl_orvoHMuOTltHydjNsm9tt3N2m3Su9HPiKg65qwgm_ipb0-B8kRxNPK7vM1afreik5H-kv43Di5huwhh-b4GMPlEFHsZSg_8Vtat7wixYmhoCddLpL4Z/s1600/DSC01006.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaHT0Jrbd5lmpT5ImY2msWVksl_orvoHMuOTltHydjNsm9tt3N2m3Su9HPiKg65qwgm_ipb0-B8kRxNPK7vM1afreik5H-kv43Di5huwhh-b4GMPlEFHsZSg_8Vtat7wixYmhoCddLpL4Z/s1600/DSC01006.JPG" height="225" width="400" /></a></span></div>
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Hippohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09468795398813061897noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-69030436700250467202015-03-07T22:00:00.000+01:002015-03-08T10:51:25.992+01:00Mother Care<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Alex burst
into the cottage.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">‘Mummy has
bought me a pomba but says you will let it go!’<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We are a
multi-lingual family and, I suppose in common with many others, quite lazy in
our choice of language, mixing them up as is convenient.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He had me with pomba though.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mind you, I hadn’t really heard him that
well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As far as I was concerned he could
have been on about a pump or even a bomb.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>His attitude didn’t really give me much time to consider it either, he
was pretty damn aggressive.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">‘If Mummy
bought it for you, I’m sure I wouldn’t, Son’ I said.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">‘So I can
bring it in, then?’<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">‘You can
manage by yourself?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It isn’t too heavy
for you?’<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">He gave me
a bewildered look and ran back to the driveway.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I just hoped it wasn’t anything lethal such as the bow and arrows he was
given recently.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Alex had
been stamping around the bush surrounding the cottage when he came across a
funny little man.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know he was a funny
little man because Alex brought him home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>No more than five feet tall and wizened like an old tree root, if he
spoke Portuguese, it was like no dialect I had ever heard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think it was my grandmother who told me
that every child is born able to speak any language and is blessed with all God’s
knowledge but then an Angel comes along and seals the child’s lips with his
thumb, which is why we have an indentation on our top lip.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mind you she also explained to me how our
buttocks came to be in two halves, a story in which figured a madman with an
axe so I took her tales with a pinch of salt and considered angels
spoilsports.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If it wasn’t for angels,
there’d be no need for school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mind you
if it wasn’t for my Granny’s madman, women wouldn’t look nearly so good in
G-strings.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It
nevertheless amazes me that for children, a lack of fluency isn’t an impediment
to communication.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While I hadn’t a clue,
Alex and this little man seemed to understand each other perfectly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The only word he said that I understood was ‘Namib’.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I decided he was a Herero* but what he was
doing so far north escaped me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Alex
explained to me that he had found the Herero hunting birds in the bush.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The man nodded his agreement and said
something entirely incomprehensible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Alex translated.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">‘He wants
to give me his bow and arrows.’<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">‘I’m sure
he doesn’t, Son, I think he probably needs them.’<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The Herero
handed his bow and arrows to Alex.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
way something is handed to you in Africa is important.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If something is just handed over, you are
being given it to try, it is a temporary transition of possession.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If, on the other hand, the item is passed to
you balanced on two upturned palms it is very literally being offered to you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To keep.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This is how the Herero passed his bow and arrows to Alex.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgupXLHIS_3OUI6TxH_ZkHvWSGvT_Pyef6Yuj65u2cmkegYhTerwmBJ36hL4v9BrhZnANz-KHa8cfYqmYErhrZnNqh3dl7aAk3N-8Sgn-6_2lccKCiAxDUEMe3o7XVQ1uS5pkjxxg5087H/s1600/DSC00783aa.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgupXLHIS_3OUI6TxH_ZkHvWSGvT_Pyef6Yuj65u2cmkegYhTerwmBJ36hL4v9BrhZnANz-KHa8cfYqmYErhrZnNqh3dl7aAk3N-8Sgn-6_2lccKCiAxDUEMe3o7XVQ1uS5pkjxxg5087H/s1600/DSC00783aa.jpg" height="225" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">To be
honest, I wasn’t particularly concerned.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The bow and especially the arrows looked pretty bloody artisan, I
doubted you could squirt one very far.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>No wonder the bloke looked starved.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I fetched him a cold beer from the fridge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While he drank it, Alex had a go with the
bow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I expected, the arrow barely
covered three feet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Clearly the guy was
knocking these out by the hundred and flogging them as little souvenirs,
although who round here would pay for them I had no idea.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The Herero
finished his beer and took the bow back from Alex.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Alex retrieved the arrows for him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Brian Blessed is the only man I have ever
seen who could draw an English Longbow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There
is a slow, methodical determination in doing so that has its own grace.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know that this little bow was nothing in
comparison but I expected a little more than an arrow launched from a crouching
position in the blink of an eye.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know
he did it in the blink of an eye because I blinked and I missed it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHFN8b-q3ZAq2DakbstHIJDN7px9D6hoer2y_p2OQPG2ZV6otiQDbp4i675iLp-kaLRAU45AAodZOZBu9nF0ujtZAIeej8bZW8ZoJizlf7xiZ8GtFkIttW00RIj9YD5stlq0AuwboSd88i/s1600/DSC00781aa.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHFN8b-q3ZAq2DakbstHIJDN7px9D6hoer2y_p2OQPG2ZV6otiQDbp4i675iLp-kaLRAU45AAodZOZBu9nF0ujtZAIeej8bZW8ZoJizlf7xiZ8GtFkIttW00RIj9YD5stlq0AuwboSd88i/s1600/DSC00781aa.jpg" height="225" width="400" /></a></div>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">‘Where did
the arrow go?’ I asked Alex as I scanned the ground a few yards ahead.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">‘Over
there,’ said Alex pointing way into the trees.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Pretty
soon, under the Herero’s patient tuition, Alex was launching arrows from one
side of the garden to the other.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Alex
decided that he wanted to shoot birds as well and this both saddened and
worried me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is the trouble with
weapons like these.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Very soon, boredom
with inanimate targets sets in and a moving target is required.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will teach him to shoot and I will teach
him to hunt but right now he is too young to distinguish between hunting, and
killing for the sake of it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is also
far too young to understand the enormous responsibility of handling a lethal
weapon.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Bows and
arrows make me nervous.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anything that
fires a projectile makes me nervous and I am not alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think everyone is uncomfortable having a
weapon pointed at them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The other day a
local slapped Alex for merely pointing a bright green plastic water pistol at
him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That time public opinion was on my
side when I knocked the man down and squirted the entire contents of Alex’s
pistol up his nostril, but if Alex ever pointed a drawn bow and arrow at anyone
or, God forbid, loosed one off, we’d really be in trouble, never mind the awful
trauma of accidentally taking a life, or putting someone’s eye out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After the Herero left, I quietly hid the bow
and arrows, but only after having a quiet go myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was rubbish.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Alex
returned with something cupped in his hands, close on his heels one of his
friends from the village.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">‘Oh, a
pigeon!’ I said.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Laying in his hands,
legs bound together with plastic, was a very frightened pigeon.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">‘Yes,’ he
said, ‘are you going to let it go?’<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgl983gTigr10lTloE81ogJVLi22omx1YaIPpfk89jU5d1KhDrrsQc2Q8ZC9kR7v2utrnkT2tStCWR5ZFfi6tvRkuUt6UFrexLwV8EutqiF4iUPxOrHvUxonnBnXuPu877fpUjep01Ejoxn/s1600/DSC00994.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgl983gTigr10lTloE81ogJVLi22omx1YaIPpfk89jU5d1KhDrrsQc2Q8ZC9kR7v2utrnkT2tStCWR5ZFfi6tvRkuUt6UFrexLwV8EutqiF4iUPxOrHvUxonnBnXuPu877fpUjep01Ejoxn/s1600/DSC00994.JPG" height="312" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I placed it temporarily in a waste paper basket where it was less likely to <br />
flutter in panic and hurt itself</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Well,
ordinarily I would and Marcia evidently knows my thoughts on this well enough
to have warned Alex.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t mind
shooting pigeons, they can be as much of a pest as rats so I will shoot them,
yes for sport as well, but mainly for the pot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>One minute they will be gorging themselves on the farmer’s corn, next
oblivion and my fileting knife as I carve the meat off the carcass.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The idea of keeping one in a cage, though,
does not appeal to me at all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As an extraordinary
concession I would, however, allow Alex to keep the pigeon in the same pen as
the ducks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is completely enclosed in
shade netting and has over two metres of headroom, enough space for the bird to
stretch its wings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Pigeons are very
sociable creatures so it seems a bit mean to keep one on its own but on its
own, unless it can rejoin its flock, it’ll be a sitting duck for any of the
many hawks and eagles around here looking for just such a loner.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It may even fall to one of the Herero’s
arrows.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Perhaps this one will act as a
decoy and lure others in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I scatter a
bit of feed around, they may hang around, in which case I can make an opening
in the netting to let them in and out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>That would be nice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What it might
do is encourage in Alex a little more respect for these creatures and a little
more circumspection about killing them.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqDHyKnT9E2cf2H6MRwNnL4rSACH_wHvssMxGnqwnLlZjo9Vt256OgVMpNK0Q4u6-E6eAWoUJKqAlUWfDe-iUOuknxXdt_WuePCmjdNlp4h2JTC_WFxftXilxxTwsgcqCGSmmRVC_JbMt0/s1600/DSC00988.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqDHyKnT9E2cf2H6MRwNnL4rSACH_wHvssMxGnqwnLlZjo9Vt256OgVMpNK0Q4u6-E6eAWoUJKqAlUWfDe-iUOuknxXdt_WuePCmjdNlp4h2JTC_WFxftXilxxTwsgcqCGSmmRVC_JbMt0/s1600/DSC00988.JPG" height="400" width="225" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Mother Care</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">At that
moment, the Mothercare lady turned up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She is a Sungueira, a woman who makes a tenuous living buying cheap
products from a wholesaler and then carting them through the countryside
selling them for a very marginal profit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There was a time not so long ago when they were never seen here, why
should anyone stray off the beaten track to a poverty stricken fishing
village?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The new church and all its
devout adherents have changed that so at weekends, we do see the occasional
Sungueira, and they’re great fun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sure,
they’re selling tat but when it comes to shorts and T shorts for the boy, the
kit is good enough.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I told Alex to pick
out some shorts and shirts and since his little friend was running around only in
a pair of raggedy old shorts, I told him to pick an outfit as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After haggling harder than a desperate carpet
salesman, I knocked her down 20 cents an item and kitted the boys out for 500
kwanzas ($5).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I only had a 1000 kwanza
note.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She had no change (of course she
didn’t) so I gave her a cold coke as well.<o:p></o:p></span></span>
<br />
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Tomorrow,
Alex starts his golf lessons.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Next year
the Mangais Golf Resort will host a round of the PGA championship and as part
of this, they want to hold a junior tournament.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Golf is not
something that really excites me but Alex wouldn’t be the first mixed race player
to make a fortune at it. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If he can keep
his dick in his trousers he might get to keep it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anyway, I hope he enjoys it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In civilized countries I understand it is
quite hard to get time on a PGA standard golf course.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Marcia is
very excited about this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So excited, I
even caught her watching golf on TV.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
thought that might be because she wanted to understand the rules although they
could hardly be considered complicated, just take turns hitting a ball until it
goes down a hole, then do it again seventeen more times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But no, she was watching it to see what the
players wore.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was disappointed she
hadn’t asked me first.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would have
Googled a picture of Payne Stewart and shown her that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She has spent the afternoon washing pretty
much every item of clothing the boy possesses and even now as I type is showing
me various bits of apparel and asking my opinion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Intellectually, this is a strain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A polo shirt is easy, all I have to say is no
Darling, you need a pony with that, but it is difficult to find something
amusing in an ordinary pair of navy blue chinos.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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*
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><em>The Herero is an ethnic group inhabiting parts of Southern
Africa. The majority reside in Namibia, with the remainder found in Botswana
and Angola. About 250,000 members are alive today. Groups in Angola include the
Mucubal Kuvale, Zemba, Hakawona, Tjavikwa, Tjimba and Himba.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Tjimba, though they speak Herero, are
physically distinct indigenous hunter-gatherers. </em></span> </div>
Hippohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09468795398813061897noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-53172618690676217722015-03-07T14:26:00.002+01:002015-03-07T15:26:23.243+01:00Sweet and Soggy<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">With a
puppy in the house dead set on chewing everything in sight, I am quite keen for
bedroom doors to be kept closed and things put away out of reach of inquisitive
little jaws. </span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Marcia did the fuel run yesterday afternoon. Alex
likes fuel runs because there is a little café at the petrol station where one can buy
quite passable sticky buns. Alex had, for whatever reason (children
really do not have to try that hard) incurred his mother's wrath earlier on so
when he leapt off his chair clearly wanting to accompany her (he never asks if
he can 'go' with you, he asks if he can 'accompany' you) she stopped short of a
refusal but did tell him to make sure he brought his own money as she would not
be buying him a cake. Naturally, the lad was a little crestfallen as,
being only six, he's not in salaried employment yet so I motioned him over (I
was busy trying to adjust the saddle of my bike at the time) and In-between
overloud instructions to, 'Hold the bike steady for me, Son!' and ‘He won’t be
long, Marcia!' I passed him a few hundred Kwanzas, told him to stick them in
his pocket and when he and his mother arrived at the petrol station, to shoot
into the café and buy himself a cake. While he was at it, I said, he
could buy me one as well.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The fuel we
buy for the generator is shit. Well it's mostly diesel but it's full of
shit, so in addition to the fuel filter one normally finds fitted to a diesel
engine, I have a Separ filter. This contains a washable membrane that
filters down to 60 microns which, as the man from Separ UK said on the phone
when I ordered it, is pretty bloody small.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It also has a separator to get rid of the water. Note I did not
say get rid of 'any' water, I said get rid of 'the' water because a good percentage
of it is water. Although I only service the generator every couple of
hundred hours, if I have the opportunity, I whip the Separ apart and clean
it. I was doing this when Marcia and Alex returned with the fuel.
They went into the cottage and I finished off. Naturally, I forgot all
about my sticky bun.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Much later
a gnawing emptiness reminded me of the bun I hadn’t seen, let
alone eaten.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now that I am determined to
get my weight down to something less than portly I shouldn’t really be eating
cakes but with all this exercise I am getting, one every now and then couldn’t
hurt.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">‘Did you
buy me a cake, Alex?’<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">‘Mummy has
it’<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">‘Marcia!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Where’s my cake?’<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">‘I left it
on the chair…’<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Which chair
she didn’t say but it didn’t matter, any of our chairs are within Rocky’s
reach.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fortunately, Rocky was more
interested in shredding a brown paper bag than eating the patisserie therein so
it wasn’t too badly masticated when I retrieved it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I showed
the bag to Alex.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">‘Do you
want to eat it?’ I asked him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a
rhetorical question but we haven’t got onto such devices in his studies yet.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">He politely
declined.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Marcia was
changing in the bedroom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘Do you want
this cake?’ I asked her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This wasn’t a
rhetorical question, this was malice aforethought.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">‘Doesn’t
Alex want it?’<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">‘No,
Marcia, not now that Rocky has chewed it.’<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">She stuck
her head round the door, ‘and if I’d said I wanted it?’ she asked eyeing the
soggy bag.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">‘I’d have
let you eat it and told you afterwards’<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">About three
this morning I woke up with a mad craving for sugar.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There was nothing to satisfy it, no biscuits,
no choccy bars, nothing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On the dining
table lay Rocky’s paper bag.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Under torch
light the cake didn’t look that bad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So
I ate it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1BNeVq7awCQyCumD_nPFiHLQKERFQPNjAi-hx20SoKZXwTTxpKtqOBnrNnQ49apwrmJfh2jrNDGujxplIrnCgrL4FZaoNx64ZoRmhqD7uapwEZzd8MuQvUn48cTqikxe9Tfau9KXPpXvO/s1600/DSC00973.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1BNeVq7awCQyCumD_nPFiHLQKERFQPNjAi-hx20SoKZXwTTxpKtqOBnrNnQ49apwrmJfh2jrNDGujxplIrnCgrL4FZaoNx64ZoRmhqD7uapwEZzd8MuQvUn48cTqikxe9Tfau9KXPpXvO/s1600/DSC00973.JPG" height="400" width="325" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sorry Rocky, you had your chance</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Hippohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09468795398813061897noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-47747444812593809302015-03-06T20:55:00.000+01:002015-03-06T22:15:23.993+01:00EmotionAn affective state of consciousness in which <em>(in this case)</em> joy is experienced<br />
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<br />
Tetley's Tea is available in Angola.<br />
<br />
Speaking of tea, has anyone else noticed that drinking Coca-Cola doesn't actually slake thirst, it increases it? I never noticed before, probably because I never drank coke unless it was added to cane spirit. Now that I am out riding the bike every day I do get a bit parched and when I get home, I can't be arsed to wait for the kettle to boil so I can make tea, so I have a coke instead. But I still feel thirsty so end up making a cup of tea anyway. Now that could be because I was really thirsty so today when I got back, I decided to see if I would still feel thirsty after just a cup of tea. I didn't. Then much later this eveningm when I definitely wasn't thirsty, I decided to try a coke and I was suddenly thirsty again so had to make a cup of tea. I am aware that tobacco companies laced their cigarettes with extra nicotine to make them more addictive so what conclusion can I draw from my research? Well, tea is clearly better than Coca Cola so in order to speed the process of making it, I should invest in an electric kettle.<br />
<br />
Alex's tutor is back. She had to make an unexpected trip home leaving me to carry on with Alex by myself. His number recognition is very good. He gets that from his mother. She can distinguish a higher denomination bank note from an inferior at 200 paces. So I thought I would concentrate on enlarging the boy's vocabulary, especially idioms, which enrich our language and confuse natives. I was particularly pleased today then, when his tutor asked me after the boy had finished his lessons whether I had been instructing him in her absence (she is native of South Africa). Apparently she had confessed to being curious about what he had been doing while she was away, to which he had replied, 'Curiosity killed the cat.'<br />
<br />
I know you shouldn't let children play with knives but Alex is half African so there are some traditional skills I don't mind him learning because they may come in useful, In this case he is sharpening Pangas, which will be very handy if any of the missionaries the new church is attracting call to convert us. Then I can illustrate 'cutting someone down to size.'<br />
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<br />
I needed an edge on the blades so I could chop these up, more fruits of the sea from our local fish counter, the Atlantic Ocean.<br />
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Hippohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09468795398813061897noreply@blogger.com43tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-24193751477142458712015-03-05T15:16:00.000+01:002015-03-05T15:16:53.718+01:00Time Expressed as DistanceDepends what kind of event you are describing I suppose but for normal day to day purposes, 1.8 minutes is not a long time. It sounds daft to say that something is 1.8 minutes old so in this case, in order to demonstrate how fresh my fruits of the sea are, I shall express their age in metres. <br />
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<br />
These soon to be devoured crabs are one thousand five hundred metres old. That's the distance they travelled at 50kms/hr in my Jeep from where they were caught to my table. I'll need to steam them for about 10 kms.<br />
<br />
And now for some gratuitous fluffiness:<br />
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<br />
Rocky. Much healthier than when I found him and twice the size. Poor old Charlie is so patient.<br />
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Hippohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09468795398813061897noreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-22971738709277869082015-03-04T18:34:00.000+01:002015-03-04T23:00:37.538+01:00He's a Gay Duck, just like his father and his father before him<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Last year I
bought some ducks, two hens and a drake.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I’d made them a nice secure run and knocked up a couple of coops for
them, dug a small pond and ran a water line to it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They had plenty of space, vegetation to hide
amongst and plenty of feed supplemented with vegetables and suitable table
scraps.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Life for them was pretty
idyllic.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I still
haven’t found a couple of geese so that poor old Goosey the Gander can unload
his sauce, so recognizing that he must be up to his bottom beak in dirty water
and might harass the ducks, I built him a separate pen.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The very
next day after introducing the ducks to their new accommodation, I was rewarded
with a nice fresh egg.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unless you have
cracked open a really fresh egg, you will be surprised at how gelatinous is the
white and how proud both yolk and white stand from the plate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have cracked open fresh eggs before but it
was a long time ago so I was pleased to be reminded of what a fresh egg looked
like.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It tasted great.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The day after
there was another egg and so it went on for a week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then there were no more eggs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I supposed it might be due to the change in
environment or diet so made sure they were getting absolutely everything recommended
by Michael Grashorn in his excellent book on fowl, “Geflügel – Das Fotobuch für
die Praxis”, with which Herr Klein had been kind enough to arm this novice.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Still no
eggs.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The three
birds I had bought came from a much larger flock along with sincere assurances
of their egg laying propensity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I began
to wonder whether the drake that had been encouraging my ducks to lay wasn’t
the drake I had been sold.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The bird
fingered as the drake was certainly bigger and uglier than the two females but
he didn’t really betray much anatidic masculinity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My concern regarding his libido was
transformed to alarm about his possible sexual orientation when he broke into
Goosey’s pen and mounted him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The fact
that a much bigger bird would allow himself to be rogered without at least
putting up a stiff resistance made me realise that Goosey had probably been
without the company of females of his own kind for far too long.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Now I’m a
live and let live sort of guy and have no problems with how consenting adults
get their kicks but I was feeding and housing these buggers and I wanted eggs!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">In the end,
such was the passion of the drake for the unfortunate goose, I had to release
the goose permanently into the garden, effectively sacrificing my crop of kohlrabi.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Clearly, if the drake had eyes only for a
snow white gander, it was no surprise the ducks weren’t laying.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I
determined two things:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I must find two
geese for Goosey, and the next time the Duck Lady came round, I’d have another
drake off her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the meantime, peace
having been restored to the roost, I carried on feeding them, and buying my
eggs.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Having long
since given up exploring the nooks and crannies of the pen in search of eggs,
it took something quite unusual to make me have a good look around.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Such an instance occurred yesterday when I
went to feed them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>First, the bottom of
the shade netting surrounding their enclosure had been ripped open; second, one
of my ducks was missing.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Had this
been the result of feral dogs, I would have found a lot more than just the odd
few discarded feathers normally floating around the floor of a duck pen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There would certainly have been no
survivors.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘Perhaps it is loose
somewhere in the garden?’ I thought, after all, if it were here, surely it
would be with the others flapping around my ankles to get at the feed?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I dumped the feed and went off in search
of the missing bird.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nothing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No sign whatsoever, no tell-tale pile of duck
down anywhere.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I found Goosey under the
shop, surely he would have been an easier target?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sadly I
made my way back to the pen to swab out the water pond and refill it with
fresh.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The duck pond, as for want of a
better name I call it, is about the size and depth of a large bath.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Made of concrete cast over a mesh, I hadn’t
bothered with a drain so once a week I have to scoop all the water and
accumulated muck out of it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This sludge
is great for the garden.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So as not to
waste it, I trundle in a load of dirt and it is onto this that I throw the
slurry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After a few weeks, I shovel the
healthily revolting looking mixture back into a wheelbarrow and cart it over to
my raised beds.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you are trying to get
slurry to soak into soil, it is best to start with a hole into which you shovel
the dirt to be soaked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you don’t, you’ll
discover that water runs off a pile of dry dirt just as well as it does a
duck’s back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The position of my hole is
between the pond and the first of the two coops and I, with gay abandon, was
busy chucking bucket after stinking bucket into it, splashing everything within
a six foot radius when, with an indignant squawk, the missing duck shot out of
the coop as if it had been propelled by a punt gun.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">If anyone
asks me now, I say that the lids of the coops, which are really only very large
nesting boxes, were cunningly crafted so that they could easily be lifted for
egg inspections.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In reality, never
having given much thought to the design, it was only because I ran out of nails
while building them that they are now blessed with such useful functionality.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I lifted the lid and discovered this:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I don’t
care if, now the drake has been denied his true love, it is a case of any port in a storm, the ducks are paying their way again and soon I’ll treble my anatidae
holdings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>I bet I’m not half as relieved
as Goosey, though…<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
Hippohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09468795398813061897noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-29648350622655403862015-03-03T12:50:00.000+01:002015-03-03T17:22:55.864+01:00Cobblers<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-outline-level: 1;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Subject:</span></b><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"> Cheaney Pennine IIR Country Boots in Burgundy
Grain<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">“Dear Sir,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I am
resident in Angola and would like very much to buy a pair of UK size 9 Cheaney
Pennine IIR Country Boots in Burgundy Grain…”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I also
asked them to provide me the package dimensions and weight so that I could have
DHL Express collect the package and courier it to me.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Below the
reply I received from them:<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Dear Mr Gowans,<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Thank you for your email.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Although we ship worldwide we only currently
offer shipping to selected countries. Unfortunately Angola is a country that we
are unable to ship to at present.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Kind regards,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif"; font-size: 8pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">John Pugh<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<b><u><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif"; font-size: 8pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Internet Sales Coordinator<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<b><u><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif"; font-size: 8pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><o:p><span style="text-decoration: none;"> </span></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">No reason
given, no apology, just a curt dismissal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It is also risible; ‘Although we ship worldwide…’<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well they don’t, do they?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I get this
ALL the time from UK suppliers, why?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>What is it about Angola?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
supplier will be paid, in money not cowry shells, the same money that everyone else in UK uses,
pounds Sterling, so what’s the problem?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I am not Angolan, I just happen to be here and am in need of a new pair
of well made boots. Don’t the authors of such responses realise how distressing it is
to be turned down merely because of one's location?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Am I distasteful to them by association? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Association with what? Natives? </span>Are they perhaps concerned that their boots
would not hold up in an environment admittedly a little more hostile than a
genteel shoot in Norfolk?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Does the military style risk breaching some United Nations arms embargo? </span>Or are they worried
their reputation as purveyors of fine footwear to the nobility would be irrevocably
diluted if a pair of Cheaney’s was seen on my plates? The meanness of the response invites such speculation.</span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I really wanted these boots.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have taken a little stick recently over my
dress sense, or rather lack of it in the overwhelming opinion of my readers,
and Marcia considered these boots further evidence of my disintegration into
senility but if you know your boots, you will realise that these are boots to
last a lifetime (what’s left of mine most certainly) and bring real credibility
to the notion of living and dying in ones durable footwear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I haven’t
been so crushed by rejection since Sally Bent, the gorgeous blonde the
breasts of whom I was very sweet on, turfed me in favour of Nick Rushton and
his Datsun 240Z.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean, a Datsun for
goodness’ sake!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Now you
know why I bought my industrial wood working machines in Italy and my bicycles in Germany.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>CMC srl in Torianna have never shipped to Angola
either but rather than turn me away, they asked me the best way to ship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bulls Cycles in Germany repackaged the bikes
into DHL standard sized boxes so they could send them.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Yet a
cobbler in Northampton can’t be bothered to receive payment for a pair of boots
and have the package at reception so that DHL can pick it up.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">And people
wonder why the country is in such a mess!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It’s enough to turn an affable chap into a grumpy old sod, especially
since I know I am really stuffed this time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Italian boots would be far too fashionable and Jack Boots would only
reinforce a few prejudices.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Why should
I be forced to subsidise one of Cheaney’s UK retailers?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> I know r</span>etailers have to make their percentage, not
only to make selling Cheaney footwear worth the effort but also to fund their
facilities.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Their customers can come in
and see the product; they can try their boots on before paying for them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t have that luxury.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am buying Cheaney boots sight unseen because of the company's outstanding
reputation and decades of familiarity with their products.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So why can’t I buy direct from the
factory?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Surely selling a pair of boots
to me in Angola will not infringe any franchise agreement, unless they were as short
sighted as Habanos SA, the state owned company controlling the sale and
distribution rights of genuine Cuban cigars, who sold the franchise for the
entire African continent to a guy in Cyprus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Just as we can’t buy decent boots in Angola, a good smoke is hard
to come by as well.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The thing
that really sticks in my craw, though, is that I have no choice but to ask my
brother to wander into any one of the retailers selling these boots, buy them
and stick them in the DHL for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why is
that so bad, you ask?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is bad because,
once again, George Osborne will get 20%, and that really bloody annoys me.</span></span></div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5yGc9pLL5dFjJUgWIknW0b3pCkFbrRYZX7YlFds6agaB9Vjqt46jhEORHRnD9X4ZMlDZ_xL64_jTuVCPOZ2fl-kEIujD1qY-c3owuVf8eWSolYf4TrGyvp-YE4w_dULhgZg-UlL26kMac/s1600/pennine-2-cheaney-mens-boots-dark-brown-burgundy-box-l.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5yGc9pLL5dFjJUgWIknW0b3pCkFbrRYZX7YlFds6agaB9Vjqt46jhEORHRnD9X4ZMlDZ_xL64_jTuVCPOZ2fl-kEIujD1qY-c3owuVf8eWSolYf4TrGyvp-YE4w_dULhgZg-UlL26kMac/s1600/pennine-2-cheaney-mens-boots-dark-brown-burgundy-box-l.jpg" height="400" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cheaney Pennine IIR Country Boots in Burgundy Grain<br />
Unquestionably the finest boots in a World so exclusive, Angola isn't a member.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Hippohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09468795398813061897noreply@blogger.com44tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-24065787599852666002015-02-27T21:37:00.000+01:002015-03-03T14:42:50.090+01:00Are You Tired, Son?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_Ogt74QrImFkDSywb-OZCwouIg4jyvaSJlepnSTkwitR9BwjCJkJ2Xz0Q7duhfvMN4u-R3MMEAzI9wdpq5Ko_8FP69ERx5VD7N-u_PiL7hJkHLmGwe8kJQlHZ_2Lq0IVG5ZTRpuCc0mpN/s1600/Blue+Bulls.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_Ogt74QrImFkDSywb-OZCwouIg4jyvaSJlepnSTkwitR9BwjCJkJ2Xz0Q7duhfvMN4u-R3MMEAzI9wdpq5Ko_8FP69ERx5VD7N-u_PiL7hJkHLmGwe8kJQlHZ_2Lq0IVG5ZTRpuCc0mpN/s1600/Blue+Bulls.bmp" height="197" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
'No I'm not tired, Daddy. Are you tired?'<br />
<br />
'I'm not tired Son...'<br />
<br />
'Are you having fun, Daddy?'<br />
<br />
It was four in the afternoon, we had been on the road since eleven and I was bloody knackered.<br />
<br />
The bikes are brilliant. I had been a little concerned about the gears on Alex's bike. He's never had a bike with gears before and now he had 18 to deal with. He has a triple sprocket and a six speed cassette so on his left grip selector he has a choice of one to three, and on his right, one to six. He had no trouble at all.<br />
<br />
'I'm in Two - Four, Daddy, what are you in?' <br />
<br />
'Two - Five, Son'<br />
<br />
Gear mechanisms on bikes have come on a long, long way since I had to pedal myself anywhere. Most bikes back then had Sturmey Archer 3 speeds if you were lucky, and a basket on the front if you weren't. If any of us had problems today, it was me. Rather than a twist grip, I had levers only I hadn't spotted two of them. There were four. Consequently I had changed all the way to top (mine has 21 gears) and couldn't figure out how to change down again before I fell off. So yes, much to Alex's delight, Daddy was the first to crash before we'd even properly set off.<br />
<br />
Once we got going, though, it was a delight. First we cycled to the site, but that wasn't nearly far enough so we cycled back again and then on to the petrol station on the main road where a man had to show me how to use the airline so I could fill the tyres to the correct pressures. We had a sticky bun and a stimms each but were in no mood to call it a day so we carried on to the golf course. This gave us miles of tracks to play on so play on them we did. All of them. The rumble of thunder and a darkening sky warned us of an impending downpour so we decided to head home. We got there but Alex still wasn't tired and it wasn't raining so we carried on to Rico's place to have another fizzy drink (I was feeling faint by this stage). Of course Alex had to show them our new bikes.<br />
<br />
'Official Blue Bulls training bikes,' I said. All the South Africans I have met support either the Blue Bulls or the Sharks rugby teams. <br />
<br />
'Since the Bulls were kind enough to give us a couple of their official team training bikes,' I continued, 'Alex and I felt we should start supporting them; we have all the team kit at home as well.'<br />
<br />
'Hang on, the Bulls sent you these bikes?'<br />
<br />
'No, they sent them to an address in South Africa, a pal sent them up for us. Is the bar open? I'm gagging for a tonic water...'<br />
<br />
I'll allow time to let that sink in. I'm on for the best play ever so I don't want to strike at the first twitch of the fly...<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoCK9u2GKOxe3G0y7rMv1z7FeFaIi276fDvqjf4R17A4zGHrNzOXqMc3OjvRhZb9lmzLF33ZImrYk1Px3wk0EDWxPCmjJ9-cL-JOF8tc3ZYbkPreIdG40BQOz7-yX0Ri1IohflJNkCRXGv/s1600/DSC00820.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoCK9u2GKOxe3G0y7rMv1z7FeFaIi276fDvqjf4R17A4zGHrNzOXqMc3OjvRhZb9lmzLF33ZImrYk1Px3wk0EDWxPCmjJ9-cL-JOF8tc3ZYbkPreIdG40BQOz7-yX0Ri1IohflJNkCRXGv/s1600/DSC00820.JPG" height="360" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">'Well of course the apprentice does all the work, how else will he learn?'</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjC7vAMs1OUyU8YgCPOVaf01r6OO5MJW1O32i_XS4fZJLRDgarbzyTriUXhX4yIWfxgK4pMd0EjpUSuV2M9rSJqH7Z5SdFKe2uyasvtTnIM3gRQcVqh8SIWlN9avGZhxkRT4TcTWpkUs6uF/s1600/DSC00885.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjC7vAMs1OUyU8YgCPOVaf01r6OO5MJW1O32i_XS4fZJLRDgarbzyTriUXhX4yIWfxgK4pMd0EjpUSuV2M9rSJqH7Z5SdFKe2uyasvtTnIM3gRQcVqh8SIWlN9avGZhxkRT4TcTWpkUs6uF/s1600/DSC00885.JPG" height="640" width="360" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I did my 'bike first then started on Alex's. He'd have been off on his own otherwise!<br />
Note the patented empty paint tin frame stand.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKiJRlWpMkZ-vS7Rxzip2coLfXtOn3Hp4Y4CSC3KgKu9326OWxa0Fh8bjC8V-UG76UItFtzax3Cpcs5um-n-9u2tvFR0nxMvTWSTYMRixLjzx7001dvyb2PRySIw6yAUm-l7xJnOm5DxLr/s1600/DSC00897.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKiJRlWpMkZ-vS7Rxzip2coLfXtOn3Hp4Y4CSC3KgKu9326OWxa0Fh8bjC8V-UG76UItFtzax3Cpcs5um-n-9u2tvFR0nxMvTWSTYMRixLjzx7001dvyb2PRySIw6yAUm-l7xJnOm5DxLr/s1600/DSC00897.JPG" height="360" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">'Daddy knows what he's doing...doesn't he?'</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUBoSC-xlDL-6VrhfBjCDRXDRsYnNa25PkeLYtB19eTpdKXeAfTwUFquTZ5HQnezOM374CHQFL0tcvlhQuAEr7hjBk68pjW8M_N3hVnlMgLoAD7csT8U19Zs8Ie8wg0sgiKkyzhthVNNb6/s1600/DSC00904.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUBoSC-xlDL-6VrhfBjCDRXDRsYnNa25PkeLYtB19eTpdKXeAfTwUFquTZ5HQnezOM374CHQFL0tcvlhQuAEr7hjBk68pjW8M_N3hVnlMgLoAD7csT8U19Zs8Ie8wg0sgiKkyzhthVNNb6/s1600/DSC00904.JPG" height="640" width="360" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Looking like a bike now and yes, Son, those are the gears</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrV3qQiLEzk2lKH2opwu4rBp52qmI7quksAVgsD9mehsEIzBVxWJ-Gdux7CUy5fPw0G5ETUtysP1A63OdeZY1481AlaQpT5kqhd-9WJIYyryf8AimwBRAYeU7OFno7eoVgNW8_60FxzddH/s1600/DSC00910.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrV3qQiLEzk2lKH2opwu4rBp52qmI7quksAVgsD9mehsEIzBVxWJ-Gdux7CUy5fPw0G5ETUtysP1A63OdeZY1481AlaQpT5kqhd-9WJIYyryf8AimwBRAYeU7OFno7eoVgNW8_60FxzddH/s1600/DSC00910.JPG" height="360" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Final adjustments. There is nothing to compare with German engineering. All the parts are well made and fitted together perfectly. Beautiful fit and finish, a delight to work on. <br />
One last job, make a note of the serial number stamped on the crank case...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpl5Yt1FrPVLV8PG0ydKG8v56euQq9ikYMaq3ZeOzKjIBLeulmEkYvK0_3uaVRv_X9MS3AW4OuetVH4O05prsNPIU7NDK3GfhnLI-JUqSIlIwMdo2gB7ELJKHNv9mh78ZdQSefcLluKHSJ/s1600/DSC00912.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpl5Yt1FrPVLV8PG0ydKG8v56euQq9ikYMaq3ZeOzKjIBLeulmEkYvK0_3uaVRv_X9MS3AW4OuetVH4O05prsNPIU7NDK3GfhnLI-JUqSIlIwMdo2gB7ELJKHNv9mh78ZdQSefcLluKHSJ/s1600/DSC00912.JPG" height="360" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cambodia is a small town in Baden-Württemberg noted for bicycle production and Mohnkuchen</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfY_tZtaUZBZUhZMp6SN5mId2dUHkfVriTrL4FTRfCggyDSNqLfB4Q1i61N3VsxiXVigmbvzEFHd4obpAUj0V3CLhaNB-ViNX1nqbF-NU-myyvrOGZGZpJE9srp-WT9ieaHcOB8egsbVV7/s1600/DSC00913.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfY_tZtaUZBZUhZMp6SN5mId2dUHkfVriTrL4FTRfCggyDSNqLfB4Q1i61N3VsxiXVigmbvzEFHd4obpAUj0V3CLhaNB-ViNX1nqbF-NU-myyvrOGZGZpJE9srp-WT9ieaHcOB8egsbVV7/s1600/DSC00913.JPG" height="360" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Indian Chief and Indian Scout<br />
The easy way to distinguish between the two bicycles is to note that Alex's has a side stand.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRIqGdalvbcAtjAz1oRGHaAZ47XvW5CgxKtP9SPrJEfW1WzvPgjEFkAlZ3839I7jzERC0sAG27kBeDgP_r0a-i9KuMi2Xy9Wu44lQCyq8Z0CHFjetyk_Au7PPS1PfOpxLu_Umn8i_hYlsU/s1600/DSC00918.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRIqGdalvbcAtjAz1oRGHaAZ47XvW5CgxKtP9SPrJEfW1WzvPgjEFkAlZ3839I7jzERC0sAG27kBeDgP_r0a-i9KuMi2Xy9Wu44lQCyq8Z0CHFjetyk_Au7PPS1PfOpxLu_Umn8i_hYlsU/s1600/DSC00918.JPG" height="360" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A very chuffed little boy.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnwNZE6uuV4zY3am3cabUgbRrnWnzt4dewlqes8K6wsYYzC_s4jkMoJZFYVRrEHtaBH6tqmimMqEEsMhvJpn-Q_dbxrBvq8ySOLWrLysbekUkG1XV7NSiie_kK-jorY6NO22P2wKolGQG-/s1600/DSC00924.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnwNZE6uuV4zY3am3cabUgbRrnWnzt4dewlqes8K6wsYYzC_s4jkMoJZFYVRrEHtaBH6tqmimMqEEsMhvJpn-Q_dbxrBvq8ySOLWrLysbekUkG1XV7NSiie_kK-jorY6NO22P2wKolGQG-/s1600/DSC00924.JPG" height="360" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">He's cycled three million miles and he still has the energy to run!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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</div>
Hippohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09468795398813061897noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-5703260067503232852015-02-26T23:53:00.000+01:002015-02-27T00:28:18.130+01:00The Bicycles Have Arrived!They arrived in Angola a week ago to be exact. With the heavy rain the city has been enduring, however, we felt it prudent not to venture all the way to the Central Post office in the Baixa Cidade, a journey only the likes of Mungo Park would entertain under current conditions.<br />
<br />
These are the second and third parcels I have now consigned to Angola using normal parcel post (as opposed to courier firms) and I must say, the system seems to work. This being Angola, though, when the Post Office employee rang Marcia last Thursday to alert her to the shipment's arrival, they asked her not to bother coming to pick them up the next day as, it being a Friday, they didn't feel like working so the following Monday would be more convenient for them. It was pretty civil of them to phone.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKihB1kEBac4lV9dpOwjL_IhOHlrDnM0Cqfqh_fBoh-3DQhG6fZvtSTVb-4SnnEUs3Xbl3A50pOtauTPvMVp_9GA-AuZXe3ebyvM6oX2gKzS9EIHIYmav5i7LJ-QfELkKTLkc7WEEZ_zcp/s1600/DSC00785.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKihB1kEBac4lV9dpOwjL_IhOHlrDnM0Cqfqh_fBoh-3DQhG6fZvtSTVb-4SnnEUs3Xbl3A50pOtauTPvMVp_9GA-AuZXe3ebyvM6oX2gKzS9EIHIYmav5i7LJ-QfELkKTLkc7WEEZ_zcp/s1600/DSC00785.JPG" height="360" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
Looking at the picture of the shipment, the scars of battle very evident, you may wonder why two bicycles should each require such a very large box. Oddly enough, a normal bicycle sized box of around 125 x 75 x 30 cms (0.28 cubic metres) exceeds the maximum allowed dimensions for international parcel post so would cost more like 600 Euros each (the price I was quoted by Lufthansa, you may recall). If, however, the 'bikes were repacked into a box measuring 120 x 60 x 60 (0.43 cubic metres) they would fall within the maximum allowed dimensions and cost only 90 Euros each. So nearly twice the cubic volume for a seventh of the price. DHL is owned by Deutsche Post and the boxes came in on Lufthansa. No bastard demanding over 600 Euros a box from me at DHL or Lufthansa told me about the very cheap and just as secure alternative operated by the same companies across the same infrastructure. I had to find that out for myself. Is it just as secure? You bet; just like a DHL Express shipment, you can track it online. <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Marcia is into Dan Brown at the moment. Until she started on him the only book I have ever seen her read was the bible so I shouldn't really be surprised she has a taste for esoteric fiction. Since there was quite a bit of free space in the boxes, I ordered a copy of 'Digital Fortress' for her which Micky had tossed in with the bikes. Normally it is only a very impatient Alex I have to deal with when a Red Cross parcel arrives but this time I had Marcia hovering. It was quite late in the evening and it would soon be dark, not the time to be opening boxes out of which any number of not already lost small parts might fall. In addition, some of Alex's friends from the village were still hanging around providing a very compelling reason to delay revealing the contents. I'd like at least the chance to build the bikes up before they get nicked. But Marcia was insistent.<br />
<br />
'I don't even know which box the book is in!' I said.<br />
<br />
'It's in that one,' said Marcia pointing to the less damaged box.<br />
<br />
'How do you know?'<br />
<br />
''Cos I saw it when Customs inspected the contents!'<br />
<br />
'If you saw it when customs opened the box, Marcia, why didn't you take it out there and then?'<br />
<br />
You will note from the white 'Alfandega' sticky tape that Customs opened the boxes up side down. I would like to think that these cunning revenue men supposed that if any contraband was concealed within, it would be at the bottom so best go in that way, but I suspect it was because they were pissed off with me for already having looked up the tariff code and told them how much I should be paying, eliminating a potential private revenue stream for them. <br />
<br />
This is the first book I have bought Marcia that's in Portuguese. The others have been in English and they have improved her command of that language no end. In addition, reading has provoked in her a desire to occasionally converse rather than spend the evening watching soaps, which makes a delightful change, Conversations are sometimes bloody bizarre (how she can reconcile her faith with a belief in African magic escapes me) but anything is better than 'Paixão Proibida'. The other day she asked me if the next book I bought her could be in Dutch. <br />
<br />
Dutch? Marcia studied in Belgium, the bit that doesn't speak French.<br />
<br />
'But Marcia, your English is better than your Flemish, Dutch is about as useful as Afrikaans.'<br />
<br />
'How can you say that?' she retorted, 'you saw when we had problems at Brussels airport and I explained everything to the Ambassador and he called the head of Brussels Airlines and sorted it out!'<br />
<br />
This was true, I did have a problem at Brussels airport when they refused to board Dominic because he did not have an Angolan entry visa in his UK passport. I had been under the misapprehension that his Angolan passport granted sufficient authority to enter Angola and had been unable to conceal my disappointment when the nice Belgians pointed my stupidity out to me.<br />
<br />
'Marcia, that was the French Ambassador, you were speaking French,'<br />
<br />
'Oh yes. But it proves I am good at languages!'<br />
<br />
It proves you can bloody terrify Ambassadors, I thought.<br />
<br />
I opened up the boxes, retrieved her book and gave it to her. I resisted the temptation to dive straight in and assemble the 'bikes. Having spread the bits out to evaluate what was there and, more importantly, what might be missing (nothing, as far as I could tell), the 'bike parts are now stored safely inside the cottage.<br />
<br />
As I was stacking the bits neatly Marcia looked up from reading the fly leaf of her book.<br />
<br />
'Do you know that Dan Brown is the all time best selling author?' she announced.'<br />
<br />
'And malaria is the all time killer,' I replied. 'I know which I'd rather take my chances with.'<br />
<br />
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Hippohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09468795398813061897noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-34622725188785614462015-02-23T17:00:00.000+01:002015-02-23T17:43:26.638+01:00Beaten by Fluffiness<br />
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A comment
on my last post:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Gay Welsh
Luddite:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><em>“Thank fuck
for that! Back to human, puppy interest stories with an Angolan twist”<o:p></o:p></em></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">My Response:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><em>“Typical. I
write about something that interests me and a few comments crawl in; I write
about fluffy puppies and doe eyed little boys and in half a day I have a
million hits. I know how Marvin felt. Here I am, brain the size of a planet,
and they ask me to write cuddly. Call that job satisfaction, 'cause I don't!”<o:p></o:p></em></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I only
delve into the engine room of blogger when I need to post but I decided to have
a look at my stats to compare the relative popularity of interesting and fluffy
posts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While fewer comments were posted,
the interesting posts attracted more hits from a far wider audience.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">If I was
writing with my ‘Interesting’ head on, I would say that few conclusions should
be drawn from such statistics as the interesting posts contain many specific
search terms, such as ‘BMW 3.0 CS’, or ‘Double Overhead Chrome Dipstick’.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although there are few who would Google these
terms, statistically there are enough, and they would be directed to my blog
whether they wished to be there or not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>These ‘false hits’ would skew the stats in favour of intelligent posts,
so it would be quite wrong to suppose the evidence suggested that all those who
visited my blog and did not post a comment probably like classic cars and
joinery and the only little doggies they are interested in are the ones served
piping hot with onions from an urchin’s barrow in the High Street.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I was writing with my ‘fluffy’ head on, I
wouldn’t bother with statistics at all and just say that people who bother to comment
are such nice people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can see, though,
that if I wish to continue writing about my lovely and very interesting new machines
I need to introduce them as props in a narrative about hand crafted solid
timber cribs for babes or twee little garden cottages for doggy-wogs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Am I still allowed to say ‘doggy’?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">While I was
down in the oily bowels of Blogger, though, I was startled at the audience
spread by nationality. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In top two
positions are, unsurprisingly given the relative similarity between the two
languages, the United States and the United Kingdom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These are followed, and this really did
surprise me, by four communist countries.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They are, in order:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>France,
Ukraine, Russia and Romania.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Apart from
Cro Magnon, the tastes of whom are eclectic, why would anyone in France be
interested in my blog?</span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></span> </div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><o:p></o:p></span></span> </div>
Hippohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09468795398813061897noreply@blogger.com24