Saturday, 9 August 2014

Well, I'm glad you're out- er... back

All this talk about me coming home and having a car waiting for me put me in mind of this clip from a classic British film...

video

Obviously young Charlie Croker got off lightly; he only went down for two years, not twenty.

Marcia rang me out of the blue this afternoon and told me that Dr. Abel and his (charming) daughter Maya were coming to stay.  I wasn't quite sure what to say.  The last time I saw Dr. Abel, he was slashing my leg with a scalpel and then he and a beefy nurse tried to strangle it.  As one operation followed another in UK Marcia apparently told Dr. Abel that in the opinion of his esteemed professional colleagues in London, he was a butcher.  Now it is entirely possible that after my bloody encounter with him I may, as I limped away from his clinic, have suggested something along those lines but I never expected Marcia to attribute those sentiments to Doctors in UK and inform Dr. Abel on my behalf.

'Well that explains why he hasn't rung since I returned to find out how I am,' I muttered bitterly when Marcia told me what she had said to him soon after I got back. I never expected to see him again and was wondering just which doctor I could see now in an emergency. Dr. Abel was literally the family doctor, he's Marcia's cousin.

I dug out a couple of bottles of Cabernet Sauvignon and uncorked them to breathe before hauling out the ingredients for Lasagne.  Not knowing exactly when they would arrive, I thought an oven finished supper safest.  Pressed into military service, Dr. Abel had honed his craft during the civil war so I knew he could take a joke.  No doubt he would if not laugh off such a slight, at least just shrug it off.  He was coming to stay so that was a good sign.

I shook his hand as he walked in. 

'No need for me to ask how you are,' he said, 'since you have been treated by the finest Doctors in Europe.' 

Irony so dense it caused ripples in the Earth's magnetic field.





51 comments:

  1. Witch doctor to see in an emergency?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Doctors don't like to be criticised, do they.... Nor do painters.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You should have offered him a very rare steak

      Delete
    2. Oddly enough, I cooked them a lamb roast today (his daughter confessed yesterday evening to lamb being her favourite) and that was pretty rare....

      Delete
    3. A leg of lamb with its own cavity would vac dressing?

      Delete
  3. As long as he's not holding a knife or scalpel, I'd just smile sweetly. If he is holding a knife or scalpel, make sure you can run fast.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me, run fast? Have you been reading this blog?

      Delete
    2. How is the leg wound progressing, or not?

      Delete
  4. That is so funny. I would have died of embarrassment.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I will die of something but it's unlikely to be embarrassment!

      Delete
  5. Dr Abel is a good name for a doctor - it's reassuring. Better than Dr Crippen or Dr Strangelove. Regarding teachers, I have had colleagues called Mrs Boreham, Mr Careless and Mr Gay. This is genuine. Good name for a mercenary soldier might be Mr Cash, Mr Bull or Mr Shooter. Did Dr Abel bring his own sterilised cutlery?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I believe he changed his name by deed poll from Mengele. My physics teacher was called B. O. Dawes but we rather kindly, given the options, referred to him as Bod.

      Delete
    2. Honest to god, I went to high school with a girl whose dad was an ob/gyn....his name was Dr. Finger.

      Delete
  6. Lamb, slow roasted in gravy and onions is simply the best. The gravy is just awesome. I thoroughly recommend you try it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. sounds delicious, how do you make the gravy in which to roast it?

      Delete
    2. I just use Bisto powder and cold water. I normally use about 3 pints/2 litres of water, add the chopped up onion and cook for about 4 hours at 150c. The smell of it cooking is mouth watering. The gravy thickens up (obviously) and tastes awesome. With the family away I'm cooking it for myself this week.

      Delete
  7. Was there a wry smile or just a swift kick to aforementioned limb?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He dined royally, declared his shock that the infection had spread so rapidly and agreed I took the best course of action. Amazing what a few bottles of wine and some good food can achieve.

      Delete
  8. How is the leg progressing?

    ReplyDelete
  9. The ripples to the earths magnetic field must have upset your internet connection. No communications from Hippoland for near two weeks. Hope the tigers didn't get you.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I reckon he's waiting for delivery of a new elastic band. Or been eaten by tigers. :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hmm. Should we be worried again? Where are you, Tom? It's been way too long since we heard from you. We need to know how that leg is going and what is happening in your world. Ground control to Major Tom.....

    ReplyDelete
  12. Almost a month now.

    Can you hear me, Major Tom?

    ReplyDelete
  13. Jeez, Tom. Let us know you are alive and limping. The silence is unbearable!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He did return my email and all seems well x

      Delete
    2. Good news, Going Gently! I have checked in every day (sometimes twice) hoping Hippo has a new post. It's well to know that he is okay.

      Delete
    3. Thanks John for the update

      Delete
  14. He's in prison for 'Not drunk, and not disorderly'. A disgrace.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Throw us a crumb Tom! Doesn't have to be a" novella", interesting as your long posts are; just a few words about how you all are…people are worried you know!

    ReplyDelete
  16. I have been in contact via the jungle drums. Tarzan Tom is healthy as is the rest of the troop. He is really busy around the compound and trying to purchase items for the restaurant kitchen. I think with the amount he is buying and changes he is making, he will end up with a kitchen shop rather than a kitchen.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I will get extra supplies of coffee in as I suspect that the next blog may be on the rather large side! Glad all is well.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Surely this is a site well worth seeing.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Hippo
    Are you gone and lost for ever???????????
    Come back we miss you

    ReplyDelete
  20. Tom, are you still in the land of the living?

    ReplyDelete
  21. Dude....lots of people are concerned about you! Where are you, Tom?

    ReplyDelete
  22. I check in every day, Tom and I join others hoping you are well. Please PLEASE assure us you are okay.

    ReplyDelete
  23. i think he had ebola and cured himself with a snakebite!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Typical just as I find someone elses blog to read that suits my Yorkshire humour the bugger goes and catches beri beri or ebola or something.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Come on Hippo; give us some news!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Being slightly worried about Tom's status I contacted a mutual friend who still lives in Angola (sadly I left there a few years ago)
    He bumped into and was chatting to Tom a few days ago at his neighbour's place, so he is at least alive if not updating right now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OK, thank you D Mines. As long as he hasn't died , that's all that really matters !

      Delete
  27. Hi Tom! Hope life is going well for you, the garden is growing, the restaurant is flourishing, the kids are healthy and happy, and your own worn out body is hanging in there. XOX from California

    ReplyDelete
  28. Whatever the problem is, I will have a large coffee on standby ready.
    In the meantime, I will wish Tom and his family a very merry Christmas. And the same to all on this blog. Merry Christmas everyone! :)

    ReplyDelete
  29. Come on TOM................. Not even a Cherrio for Christmas

    ReplyDelete
  30. If I don't get the chance
    Happy new year to you
    Jxxxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What happens if you do get the chance?

      Delete
  31. Merry Christmas and a Happy HEALTHY New Year to you and the family Tom

    ReplyDelete

Please feel free to comment, good or bad. I will allow anything that isn't truly offensive to any other commentator. Me? You can slag me without mercy but try and be witty while you are about it.