Sunday 2 June 2013

New Tenner

Grace Darling spotted the wreck and survivors of the SS Forfarshire on a rocky island near to where she lived and rowed out with her father to rescue 13 survivors - despite the terrible storm

The Governer of the Bank of England's recent announcement that the image of Elizabeth Fry would be dropped from five pound notes in favour of Winston Churchill has caused a bit of a furore as it means that, apart from the Queen, no English bank note will feature a woman.  Feminist agitators have set up an online petition which already has over 25,000 signatures.

They do have a point.  Women are under represented in so many walks of life yet their contribution to society is just as important as Man's.  Just being a good housewife is worthy of recognition and let's not forget the old adage, 'Behind every great man is a great woman',  I am effectively a House Husband now and I can tell you at times it can be a damn sight harder than my old job, the only difference being I am allowed to have sex with my boss which isn't a bad perk at all (not that I would have wanted to have sex with my old boss, who reads this blog and will be mightily relieved).

Good housekeeping aside, there are plenty of women who are worthy of immortalisation on a bank note.  Emmiline Pankhurst?  Without her, women would still be barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen.  If you are going to put Churchill on a bank note, why not Margaret Thatcher?  She was the first female British Prime Minister after all and during her tenure, the two highest offices in the land were held by women.  Put Thatcher on a bank note and we could enjoy the sight of trendy lefties burning their own money.  How about Boudicca?  She had attitude and very nearly stuffed the Romans at their own game and although no contemporary images of her exist, according to the later romantic images, she had great tits.  Perhaps it's her genes that gave the British their fighting spirit, spitting in the face of overwhelming odds. 

Then there is Octavia Hill, the first 'Eco Warrior' and an all round philanthropist who reformed housing and marched thousands of tenement children across beautifully preserved countryside for a breath of fresh air.  A co-founder of the National Trust, without her, much of what we consider British Heritage would have been lost. 

My particular favourite (apart from Boudicca) is Grace Darling.  She embodied, in a life cut so tragically short by TB, the true Community Spirit and, I have to say, feminine instinct, by risking her own life to save others.  Men can be terribly brave when it comes to taking lives, and are even awarded medals for doing so but you need to see how courageous a woman can be when it comes to saving them.  Another reason I prefer Grace Darling is that she was not born into a privileged family,  She was an ordinary person, just like 99% of the British population.  Who better then, to represent the spirit of British womanhood, their courage, their loyalty, their endurance?  And in the face of death, stoicism?

Sadly, now that we are all fascinated by reality TV, Towie, BGT etc. if left to the public imagination, we would end up with a racier, more popular choice:

'Tom!  What are you doing?'
'Just fondling my money, darling'

35 comments:

  1. The good ship Grace Darling cruised up and down our coast last century looking for trade. Some folk I know had ancestors who rowed bales of wool out from Cape Riche to placate her.

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    1. An image of Grace may not grace one of our banknotes but it seems quite fitting she at least had a ship named after her.

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  2. Well that's the first smile I have had today....... Shitty shift at work and shitty row at home.....a great birthday weekend

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    1. Well, you know me, always smiling in the face of adversity (or at least baring my teeth and gritting them).

      I have no experience of a same sex relationship (other than those two bisexual girls I met in Gabon) but I do not see why the emotion should in any way be different to those felt by a heterosexual couple. Rows can be a very good, if blunt, way of clearing the air. If you didn't care for each other, you would not feel the need to argue about whatever it was that lit the blue touch paper so that is a good sign. Now all you need to do is work out an equable solution which probably only entails a bit of kip followed by a nice meal for two.

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    2. I was going to ask your opinion of Kate Middleton's tit (which I think is perfect) but I can tell you're not in the mood.

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    3. No I am somewhat fragile today

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    4. So no comment from you to be expected about her sister's botty? Shame, I was looking forward to an impartial opinion on both issues.

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  3. Speaking as a "trendy leftie" and proud of it, if Thatcher was on my banknotes I wouldn't burn 'em I'd wipe my arse on them. As for proper women on banknotes, I'd nominate...err...err...I can't think of anyone and that's because most women just get on with living - not courting fame or glory which is arguably a masculine trait.

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    1. You can't get more traditional than a Yorkshireman!

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  4. I have a mug with the phrase "Behind every great man is a surprised woman" The word surprised is "written" in. Also, perhaps instead of photos of Kate Middleton, some photos of Prince Harry "capture in the moment" might be more enjoyable?

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    1. Prince Harry? Um, I'm not usually stumped by a comment...

      Like the the mug design, though.

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  5. Dear Britannia may not be a 'real' person, but she does get plenty of coverage (viz, your bank note above). But maybe a Katie Price/Britannia mix would make her more popular.

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    1. Could we incorporate some nitric acid into the Thatcher £100 note, just for YP?

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    2. Maybe the BoE should do a limited edition run of 'Belles of Britain' in the same style as above. That should have the feminists hoisted with their own petards.

      Nitric acid? Too cruel and since banknotes are in circulation, too indiscriminate. Were Lady M to appear on banknotes, I would just refrain from doing business with YP as I know it would be a shitty deal.

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    3. I mean Lady Margaret, not Lady Magnon. Phew, that was close...

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    4. In Sheffield "doing business" means going with a prostitute. Perhaps you two right wingers could wear Thatcher masks and hang about at Shalesmoor in fishnet stockings. You'd be waiting so very long you'd probably be tempted to "do business" with each other instead..."Oh! Oh! Cro...you've got such a big, a big beard!"

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    5. Well, YP, that makes me a retired businessman then. I don't think there is much chance of Cro and I doing business together, not in that way at least. Maybe if I had some spare cash, an original Magnon would be nice on one of the walls of the new house.

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  6. Absolutely, there should be more women on bank notes...they always seem far more adept at spending them....
    ...I'd vote for Boudicca myself who had the right idea about keeping those Europeans at bay...otherwise, happy with Grace Darling, Florence Nightingale, Emily Pankhurst...or any number of others who have made such a significant impact...

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    1. We're entirely on the same page here.

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    2. Have women really made a big impact in what you might call "headline history"? Seems to me you're scraping around for candidates. Don't get me wrong - I am an ardent feminist and one of the wonderful things about women is that they're much less likely to court fame and glory. In addition, in a patriarchal society, it has been amazingly difficult for women to rise to the surface. Less than a hundred years has passed since British women secured voting rights and even that was a dubious measure of equality.

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    3. I think you just answered your own question there YP!

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  7. What about Fergie, ex Duchess of York? She's always willing to turn her hand into making some serious cash... by fair means or fowl!

    LLX

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    1. We're not very big on Flora and Fauna on our bank notes, are we? Since you mention famous horses, I would go for Red Rum.

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  8. For me the choice is simple - Mary Anning - one of the gratest fossil hunters who ever lived! Working on the beaches around her home town of Lymne Regis, she discovered most of the major marine reptile species (sea-dwelling dinosaurs)including icthyosaurs and plesiosaurs. She taught herself geology and her fame spread to the salons of London. Mary died from breast cancer, aged 47. For one with such disadvantaged beginnings, she had gained the respect and imagination of scientific and lay public who gave her recognition in her lifetime.

    Nine years before her death she was given an annuity, or annual payment, raised by members of the British Association for the Advancement of Science and the Geological Society of London.

    She was the first honorary member of the new Dorset County Museum.

    Her death in 1847 was recorded by the Geological Society (which did not admit women until 1904) and her life commemorated by a stained glass window in the local church.

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    1. "she was given an annuity, or annual payment"

      Or Annual payment. Everyone who knows me automatically assumes I am thick!

      I learnt about Mary Anning at school and I agree with you, she is worthy of commemoration on a bank note.

      I still recall our fascinating walk down that South African beach during which you drew out the very history of the rocks and span it into a tale of tectonic clashes. There I was, a simple thug with gravel rash on his knuckles in thrall of the impromptu lecture given by an eminent geologist who did mathematics for a hobby.

      Do you realise that was the first time we walked together in Africa with no need for me to carry a pistol?

      You were my very best principal, especially when I discovered you cared about the kids as much as I did. Do you recall us doing the Hale and Pace, 'The Two Rons' routine for the charity quiz you organised? It was fucking hilarious and we raised so much money. Do you remember the other charity bash were we persuaded the good looking female staff of the Swedish Embassy to auction off their T-shirts or blouses, the highest bidder winning the right to peel it off the girl and the diplomatic scandal that caused and yet the T-shirt auction raised more than everything else combined? The two of us got away with murder in those days and the only reason I wasn't sacked by that bible bashing boss of mine was because you were the client and were satisfied.

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  9. I go away for a week and you write 3 good blogs. Some excellent entries and replies above. Personally, i would love to Maggie Thatcher when she was in her most glorious ascendancy. I do, however, rather like your offering.
    Back to the TV. The British Lions giving out another lesson.

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    1. You will be appalled to learn that there is an Englishman who could not give a shit about rugby.

      "i would love to Maggie Thatcher when she was in her most glorious ascendancy"

      You would love to 'what' to Maggie Thatcher? I would like to have met her but that's about my limit.

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    2. Doh! I would love to nominate her for being on the bank note. And to have met her. But you are right about that being the limit! What about cricket or is that smelly as well?

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    3. My first wife's sister was a Junior England Female Cricketer. Since Corporal Callahan would always bowl me out first ball with a full toss consigning me to scorekeeper, I begged Justine to train me up while I was on leave. After a long afternoon, she told me either to shoot Callahan or take up knitting instead.

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  10. There was a Tasmanian Aboriginal woman who led a guerilla war against the British and anyone else who annoyed her. She'd been kidnapped by sealers and taken to the islands as a teenager and returned to wreak havoc. She's described as wearing a brace of pistols and standing on the highest point to shout at her warriors to kill everyone. This woman intrigues me because when I first heard her story, it was like finding I had a sixth toe. I'd never heard of her. Nor had anyone else I talked to. We have such a strong narrative/mythology of rebels like Ned Kelly and yet she is invisible.
    Jorgen Jorgenson (ie the last king of Iceland) wrote that she should never, ever be compared to a certain Red Queen. Which is kind of cool, because he just did that. (smirk)

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    1. Does this Boudicca like Amazon have a name?

      There was one here in Angola too called Rainha Ginga who gave the Portuguese such a stuffing they had to do a deal with her. Her lands were never overrun. Coming from the same tribe as Marcia, I bet she'd look good on a banknote.

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  11. Boudicca was cruelly treated, her kingdom annexed, flogged for complaining and her daughters raped. But her forces burned Londinium to the ground and subjected the Romanized Britons to every form of barbarian atrocity. Also, the descriptions of her suggest she was a big, brawny redhead who was far from being a babe. I don't think she ought to appear on a British banknote.

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    1. I think it is all a right wing plot to discourage popular uprisings. First they trivialise her name by changing it from Bodicea (as I learned it at skool) to Boodicker. Now they are suggesting she was little more than a deformed harridan with a bad case of PMT.

      I prefer my schoolboy images of her and they're the ones that should appear on bank notes (the more decent ones). If the duaghters were worth a tumble, the mother must have been at least half decent.

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  12. My, my, what a Boutique of beauties you have opened there, Tom.

    So glad to find a kindred spirit at last: Maggie. Where you, Tom, outdo me is that, no bull, I once told the Angel to never EVER mention (in public) that his mother is full of admiration for Mrs Thatcher. I once voted for her. Early Eighties. This was before Britain's slow bureaucrats informed that I am not allowed to vote in Britain. Fine. Whatever. References to Aristotle (zoon politicon) fell on deaf ears in this country and mine (yes, I never gave up my original passport). Never mind. Anyway.

    Yes. Margaret Thatcher. When I arrived in England, early Eighties, to say I was appalled would be n understatement. An understatement in best English custom. You are dying and when an English person asks you how you are you will say: "Fine. Thank you." Yes. Impregnate me during a long pause. Margaret Thatcher turned the country round. And that's all there is to it. I will not and cannot claim to understand the ins and outs of her politics, all I know is that the woman was AMAZING. As it happens I once worked for a Maggie, Bletchley Park, Milton Keynes. She was amazing too.

    So, unlike Yorkshire Pudding (the clue is in the name), I would most definitely not wipe my behind with Maggie. I'd kiss every tenner falling into my lap.

    U

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Please feel free to comment, good or bad. I will allow anything that isn't truly offensive to any other commentator. Me? You can slag me without mercy but try and be witty while you are about it.