Saturday, 3 January 2015

Mud Pies

Alex's favourite bastard.  I like him too, he plays for Germany and Bayern München

The very nice American lady came to lunch the other day and brought me another fig tree to keep the first company.  She looks far too young to retire but she is going to retire anyway because she has a nice barn in Oregon.  Since she will shortly, and sadly, be on her way, she was kind enough to unload a bit of the clutter she knew I would like.  So along with flower pots, seeds and aphid killer, she brought a ton of potting soil.

'I'd leave it out in the sun for a while or whatever you do with it to kill off any white fly eggs' she advised.

I have been busy growing saplings from seed and have a load of them desperately in need of potting, so haven't time to allow nature to take its course.  It's not just aphids that can be a nuisance, ants are a real pain in the arse as well, and when I pulled one soil filled tub from its black plastic bin liner I was overwhelmed with the irate soldiers of a disturbed colony.  I am constantly on about keeping the kitchen clean and forever banging on about hygiene in the tropics so Marcia was a little bemused to see me mixing potting soil with water in the laundry bowl, and then transferring the moist sludge, a large family portion at a time, into a cooking pot before placing the pot in the oven on gas mark 3.  It is a good way to sterilise soil without roasting it.  Just wait until it starts steaming then switch the oven off and let it stew for a while.  Kills all known beasties.  If Marcia was bemused, her brother and his family (lunching with us today), renewed their respect for Noel Coward's perspicacity while seeking Marcia's assurance that lunch would be prepared on the barbecue.

During the Skype chat I mentioned in my last post, the one during which my brother Micky and I tried to leave the kids to it, the boys either end of the ether compared toys to see whose father was best.  I lost.  Afterwards, and never one to succumb to sibling rivalry,  I told Alex he could choose some things on line.  Without hesitation he said he wanted a Bastian Schweinsteiger shirt (he said Bastard Shans-Tiger but I knew who he meant).  I was amazed.  I know during the World Cup he followed his Daddy's example and rooted for Germany (except when Brazil were playing, which taught him a valuable lesson), but I never realised he not only followed the games closely, he had his favourite player.  I couldn't find any bastard shirts on Amazon (technically little Alex is one as he supported Brazil in favour of Germany and I still haven't got round to marrying his mother) so I bought a generic Deutsche Fuβball Bund home kit for him instead, from the boots all the way up to the team baseball cap (the Adidas four star edition, Michael).  I have to admit, I admire Alex for recognising that Brazil is no team to support, and choosing to play in DFB kit when all around him are in Benfica, Porto or Brazilian rig.  Some of the shop regulars are Brazilian and no doubt had a hand in the lad's treacherous behaviour during the competition; I shall enjoy their reaction, especially if I can train Alex to volley about groin high.

Speaking of Benfica, in England we delicately refer to a lady as having her 'time of the month' (unless you wear shell suits and trainers, in which case you probably say,' She's on the rag').  Her time of the month is licence for a woman to have the time of her life, a three week period every 28 days during which all forms of anti-social behaviour short of homicide (unless the victim is her husband) are excused by law.  Here they say the lady is 'with the colours of Benfica'.  Well, Marcia hasn't played for Benfica for a few months and it looks as though she'll be on the bench until the bairn is born and off the teat.  Given that I am faced with making yet more sacrifices for the issue of my loins, just how nutritious for me do you think mud pies would be?


41 comments:

  1. How exciting more babies. Congrats.

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    1. Exciting? That's one way of putting it.

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  2. Life in the old dog! What what!

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    1. Better not have been the bloody dog!

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  3. Most of us would have headlined with the new baby!
    Excellent!

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    1. In my world, babies seem to occur naturally whereas the garden requires effort, therefore I considered the mud pies more interesting...

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  4. Congratulations! As good Americans, we have a hard time rooting for any Imperial power, so we were a bit bummed to see Germany vs. Germany (we knew we'd be bummed, though, since we were rooting for US and/or Mexico, what with Nicaragua being civilized enough to not have a team).

    Your posting helped light a fire under me, by the way, and I posted to my own blog.

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    1. Germans playing with themselves and Americans being bummed? Good God man!

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  5. Great news! Now get those wedding togs out and dust them off !!

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    1. I am sure every bride would wish her groom to dress in a 20 year old pre used rig, always assuming I could still climb into it!

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  6. One of a fathers great pleasures can be dressing his sons in suitable football shirts to rub salt into recent wounds , mine was 1999 on holiday in Greece in a hotel full of Germans and Scousers, Parading the family around the pool wearing Man Utd shirts the morning after we stuffed Bayern Munich was sweet. No one spoke to us for a fortnight it was great....

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    1. I watched that match, two goals in injury time. Knowing I support Bayern Munich and as a sign of her abiding affection for me, my mother, who has never sent so much as an email wishing any family member of mine a happy birthday, went to all the trouble and expense to send me a video of that match.

      That aside, I am glad you spotted the important point of the post!

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  7. So that's what you've been doing all this time.

    I seem to remember the expression 'red sails in the sunset' having some significance too.

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    1. I'm too preoccupied with red ink on the bank statement to lift mine eyes to the horizon!

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  8. All sorts of comments I thought of writing, but as this is a children's show (post), I'll leave it at "what a fine example of Teutonic manhood". And I'm referring to you, of course.

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    1. My blog isn't R18 but it is definitely PG so you would probably get away with it!

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  9. Congratulations to you and Marcia…..that is lovely news after the sad loss last year. 2 posts in a couple of days…... Don't get writers' cramp and disappear again !

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    1. Amazing what a good bounce in the hay can do to lift one's spirits, eh?

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  10. Clicking to your blog and seeing a picture of Bastian Schweinsteiger staring back at me was almost as bad as seeing a photo of Margaret Thatcher in her pearls and twinset. When the little one arrives, please don't call him Bastian... how about Micky instead after his prosperous, successful, witty and handsome uncle?

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    1. I suspect the only thing you could look at and be satisfied is a mirror...

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    2. And before you point it out, I know. To see one's reflection, one looks into a mirror, not at it.

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  11. That's brilliant news. Congratulations.

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    1. I know, Alex will be delighted to get his kit.

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  12. Wonderful news! I hope Marcia gets her longed-for daughter!

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    1. Are you from Yorkshire, by any chance? It's only them as can see the darker side of a bleak prospect.

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    2. A little girl will be just the thing for you, Mr Hippo! You can't fool me.....I'll bet you're secretly hoping for one, no matter how much you protest!

      And Marcia needs a daughter to balance all that male energy in the house.

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    3. Especially when "Endeavour" is on the box.

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    4. Balance all that male energy? In the blue corner, one knackered old man and a six year old boy. In the pink corner, a tag team consisting of any one of the following but not less than four at any one time and on a bad day, the lot; Marcia, Sofia, Cristina, Ju, Lili, Nadia and Marta. What do boys do? Play games, fall out of trees, get dirty. What do girls do? Hog the bathroom, hog the TV (but watch only crap), dirty the kitchen, tease boys, MAKE AN UNBELIEVABLE RACKET! Especially when Endeavour.is on the box...

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  13. Well I'll be damned, the old geezer still has a spark in him. Obviously scratching an Olympic sized hole in the sand has not worn you out enough to stay out of trouble.

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    1. Let me see, I have also just built a climbing frame/swing so I have the choice of drowning or hanging myself...

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  14. Hello stranger...I've been missing your posts, probably due to my own fecklessness. Anyway, congratulations....he or she will give you joy and hellish sleepless nights....!

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    1. Reading your most recent posts, you've been too busy gallivanting around with the luvvies...

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  15. i am SO excited for your little family! it's been a tough year or so to say the least so i am wishing you a great 2015!!! tell marcia congrats!!! congrats to both of you!

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    1. The size of the family fluctuates but it is never 'little'!

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  16. I like Schweinsteiger and Bayern Munich. Good choice.

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  17. Congrats! We keep talking about going for a third but who knows if we will or not. Having kids has to be the best thing I've ever done and seeing my two grow up together is lovely. They love each other so much and spend so much time playing together.
    As for the football - I've never watched a game in my life. The world cup before last we went to the cinema every time England was playing - it was like having our own screen!

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  18. Congratulations and am so glad you are back in obvious full fettle.

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