It went swimmingly.
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| Now THAT's bogged in# |
What kind of fuckwit, what kind of degenerate moron, what kind of certifiable lunatic would go driving bucket first into a river looking for deeep water to wash his machine in? Only the machine I am renting at hundreds of bucks an hour to fill in and level my land after the floods. Only the machine without which all work stops and I go back to picking fluff out of my navel. And then instead of coming to me (after all, I am known as a very reasonable and patient man never prone to violent outbursts) try to dig himself out and then chain himself to the flimsier of my two trees and haul it out of the ground? My tree that it is, not the effing machine.
And then to cap it all, decides he has had enough and in spite of me and Nice Paul begging him not to, drops both buckets into the mud, switches off and fucks off home. Now there is no way this thing can be towed out as there is certainlyu no way the engine can be started between high tides to engage the hydraulics.
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| I guess it is bloody clean now... |
Of course, I am not paying for it any more but will I get the money back I had to pay to have the thing transported here in the first place? Now if I want the job finished, I have to find another bit of plant available and pay through the nose to have that one brought here. Jeez.
Google Earth has finally put up updated imagery of the Barra de Kwanza so I can give you before and after photos of the Great Inundation (otherwise known as God's Wrath, I really must stop taking the piss). I think you will agreee, considering the very obvious loss of land, I wasn't exactly being lily livered when I grabbed Alex and headed for high ground in the truck...
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| Before... |
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| And after. |
shit Tom!!!
ReplyDeletebet the whiskey levels went up post flood!!!
chin up boyyo!!!
What sort of complete and utter F&^%wit would do something like that?
ReplyDeleteGo get that gun and use it - better still, don't use the gun, use a knife at night!
Come on, Tom, admit it: You thrive on a bit of adversity. What else would keep you entertained and your adrenalin level soaring?
ReplyDeleteU
Mother Puss Bucket!!!!
ReplyDeleteReminds me of the man I know who left a load of wet concrete mix in the huge concrete mixer truck over night. Yep, you guessed it: By next morning it had set up and was solid - solid as, well, concrete.
ReplyDeleteWell, look on the bright side.
ReplyDeleteIn one move her has done two favours, provided stability to the ever moving sands and provided an artificial reef to increase the fishing prospects.
Of course you will not benefit from it for 30 years as the fuel and other contaminates need to break down.
Now, you just need some of the old military trucks and Antonov or Ilyushin airplanes placed out near the break so that you do not add another after-after photo to the before and afters you have already shown.
Ugh! It never stops, does it?
ReplyDeleteGood morning how are you?
ReplyDeleteMy name is Emilio, I am a Spanish boy and I live in a town near to Madrid. I am a very interested person in knowing things so different as the culture, the way of life of the inhabitants of our planet, the fauna, the flora, and the landscapes of all the countries of the world etc. in summary, I am a person that enjoys traveling, learning and respecting people's diversity from all over the world.
I would love to travel and meet in person all the aspects above mentioned, but unfortunately as this is very expensive and my purchasing power is quite small, so I devised a way to travel with the imagination in every corner of our planet. A few years ago I started a collection of used stamps because trough them, you can see pictures about fauna, flora, monuments, landscapes etc. from all the countries. As every day is more and more difficult to get stamps, some years ago I started a new collection in order to get traditional letters addressed to me in which my goal was to get at least 1 letter from each country in the world. This modest goal is feasible to reach in the most part of countries, but unfortunately it’s impossible to achieve in other various territories for several reasons, either because they are countries at war, either because they are countries with extreme poverty or because for whatever reason the postal system is not functioning properly.
For all this I would ask you one small favor:
Would you be so kind as to send me a letter by traditional mail from Angola? I understand perfectly that you think that your blog is not the appropriate place to ask this, and even, is very probably that you ignore my letter, but I would call your attention to the difficulty involved in getting a letter from that country, and also I don’t know anyone neither where to write in Angola in order to increase my collection. a letter for me is like a little souvenir, like if I have had visited that territory with my imagination and at same time, the arrival of the letters from a country is a sign of peace and normality and an original way to promote a country in the world. My postal address is the following one:
Emilio Fernandez Esteban
Calle Valencia,39
28903 Getafe (Madrid)
Spain
If you wish, you can visit my blog www.cartasenmibuzon.blogspot.com where you can see the pictures of all the letters that I have received from whole World.
Finally I would like to thank the attention given to this letter, and whether you can help me or not, I send my best wishes for peace, health and happiness for you, your family and all your dear beings.
Yours Sincerely
Emilio Fernandez
Bloody lucky to have not had a wash yourself mucker!
ReplyDeleteDigger drivers are a pain all over tthe world!
This has to got be up there in the rankings for best post ever. I laughed my arse off!
ReplyDeleteIG
ReplyDeleteIt is with a certain grim sense of humour that I accept your laughing at my continuing misfortune as a compliment...
Nice Paul and I got the machine out, by the way (pictures at Eleven). We managed to get the engine started after a good stripping and flushing by shunting the injector pump solenoid but the electronics are fucked.
Naturally, the operator was nowhere to be seen while the hard and dirty work was going on then, the night before last, he pitched up at the shop at ten at night and persuaded marcia (who I was waiting for to join Alex and I for the dinner I had prepared) that he was hungry and she was going to give him my fucking dinner. It is amazing how quickly you can get rid of a fuckwit by swinging a full whisky bottle like a baseball bat. Marcia was angry and said that he would never do me a favour again. His kind of favours?!!!
I am sure she does it deliberately to provoke that final myocardial infarction so that she inherits everything.
Emilio Fernandez Esteban
ReplyDeleteYou are a fuckwit as well. By the time I got through your comment I was snorting cocaine and mainlining caffeine to stay awake. Jesus, at least you spared us all the agony of the dying relative the last wish of whom is sight of an Angolan stamp.
Why didn't you just say you collect and trade stamps and was there any chance I might send you a few?
Angolan stamps are, I think, among some of the most beautiful in the world (Sao Tome and Principe also have nice stamps, and Belize too).
I'll see what I can do. The postal system here is as crap as the Spanish economy but I will try and send you a letter through that system, if it arrives then you have the genuine Angolan post office franking. I will also have an envelope of stamps hand carried out to Europe which you will receive.
This will take time, though, so please don't hold your breath. I am a reclusive alcoholic and the last time I went into the city was last year to turn up for my divorce hearing. It is amazing how compelling the threat of six months in an Angolan jail for contempt can be.
Ursula,
ReplyDeleteI think all my regualr readers know that you are barking mad.
What else would keep me entertained?
Lapdancers, skiing, fishing, lapdancers, hunting, lapdancers, riding, lapdancers, real ale, lapdancers...
I may have misplaced a few commas.
Bambibasher, I DID have a good wash, several in fact as Nice Paul and I tried first to save the thing and then eventually recover it.
ReplyDeleteDoc Martin boots are shit, by the way. One good fucking soaking in river mud and they are screwed. You know anywhere I can get brown leather, I say brown, DMS style boots? The kind that are straightforward unlined made from solid leather and can take a good shine? Being a poofy ex officer I can't bring myself to wear black and besides, I need them to go with my rather camp brown leather gaiters (Light Horse)... Yes I know they are snake proof, the gaiters that is, but that isn't why I like wearing them. The sight of a white guy clad in britches, polished gaiters and boots tends to intimidate the natives, you know, Conrad's Heart of Darkness and all that.
When I asked my brother to source a pair for me he sent me DM's but then he did go to Oxford so is probably an anarchist at heart.
John D,
ReplyDeleteThe days of shooting natives off one's lawn are over.
Megan,
One day it will, as it does for all of us.
Nigel,
You are effing mad as well.
John G,
and I was doing so well.
Barbee
Give me a bit of PE4 and I could crack that concrete out in a split second. Makes your ears ring a bit though...
Going back to the Angolan stamp issue, if I am going to have to drag my sorry arse all the way into town (about a ten hour round trip with the way the traffic and check points are), then I might as well post a bunch of envelopes so if there is anyone else who wants a letter covered with Angolan stamps then drop me a line at tomgowans(at)flordita(dot)com with your postal address.
ReplyDelete