tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post6562523272763271589..comments2024-03-27T22:53:00.759+01:00Comments on A Hippo On the Lawn: MANT! Half Man, Half Ant - All Terror!Hippohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09468795398813061897noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-49335500845171857782013-01-13T18:03:19.747+01:002013-01-13T18:03:19.747+01:00Congrats on the wedding news. Last night, coming ...Congrats on the wedding news. Last night, coming on ten years of marriage to my better half (though it was fun to stumble around in a circle prior to meeting her), she says to me: "If you ever marry somebody again, don't..." I honestly have no idea what she told me not to do.<br /><br />I waited for her to finish, smiled sweetly and replied: "Honey, believe me: I will never get married again."<br /><br />That is how you keep a marriage for ten years (so you know what advice to avoid and not accidentally stumble into).Joshhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05409883521642115031noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-90725358362077410332013-01-11T10:08:43.850+01:002013-01-11T10:08:43.850+01:00Big Don,
I have sent my apology to you in the for...Big Don,<br /><br />I have sent my apology to you in the form of a new post. Once again sorry and please do not attch my head to the floor with a nail gun!<br /><br />Megan,<br /><br />I took in the kind spirit in which the advice was given. I just couldn't resist teasing!<br /><br />If we are talking about quality of meat, all I could offer you is spam.<br /><br />Sir Pud<br /><br />Silver oakleaf in the post! Just have it sewn diagonally across the ribbon of your Long Service and Good Conduct medal or as we called it, 14 years of undetected crime!Hippohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09468795398813061897noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-36647987304112062222013-01-11T09:03:18.063+01:002013-01-11T09:03:18.063+01:00Delighted to have been mentioned in dispatches Cap...Delighted to have been mentioned in dispatches Cap'n Maurice! It's been a pleasure making your acquaintance.Yorkshire Puddinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06019673884543913089noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-58885496947854946212013-01-10T22:25:26.138+01:002013-01-10T22:25:26.138+01:00Didn't mean to sound so uncoordinated or penda...Didn't mean to sound so uncoordinated or pendantic, but yes i have stubbed my toe a few times were it went Beyond the Bruise. Figured i'd pass along what worked for me, as i like to avoid pain, and some of those silly little things, like keep your foot off the floor when driving, are things Occupational Therapists or doctors don't seem to share.<br /><br />I don't kiss and tell, but i shall go so far as to say that if there's no steak, there's no payoff.<br />megan blogshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04555646904983619596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-7511310655991419192013-01-10T22:08:56.168+01:002013-01-10T22:08:56.168+01:00I love the link, but I must pick on one fault (bel...I love the link, but I must pick on one fault (believe me I hate to do this and when you see what it is your'll understand why).<br />My name is Kev. Not Ken. Kev. I know this doesn't make it sound any better, in fact Ken might be the better choice. Although I like the name Big Don Alviti more, but alas we already call my father the Don - but it will be my turn one day! <br />I thought I'd say now before months had past and I'd just let you carry on, then there would have been that akward moment where you relise you'd been saying the wrong name and I just let you carry on!<br />I'm glad you like my surname though, I've always been rather partial to it - one people won't forget. <br />As for your builders maybe I should meet them! I've sacked plenty of guys in my time and if they're taking as long as you say maybe it's time to give them the push or go further and concrete them into the building, that way at least they'd be of some (structural) use!<br />Can I also say that your posts are written with such a degree of skill and humour that they are a joy to read (and I normally go for blogs with lots of pictures). <br />Thanks again and if your excuse me I'm off to make a dress for my daughter out of some loo roll and an elelastic band (we're not skint honest...) as it sounds like we have a wedding to attend to!Kev Alvitihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04992625860900617194noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-11284174387925271922013-01-10T20:51:57.486+01:002013-01-10T20:51:57.486+01:00Megan,
Your first paragraph; Blimey! You are ev...Megan,<br /><br />Your first paragraph; Blimey! You are even more careless than I am but you are right, such a tiny little thing but such a bloody nuisance (mind you, Marcia says that about my willy)<br /><br />Para 2: Yes Mummy.<br /><br />Para 3. Depends what you want to take out but Yes Mummy, I would never let anything happen to you.<br /><br />Para 4. Was one of those my Daddy? I was just thinking about inherited traits...<br /><br />Hippohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09468795398813061897noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-90616487694446294482013-01-10T20:31:51.752+01:002013-01-10T20:31:51.752+01:00Barbee said what i was going to say regarding your...Barbee said what i was going to say regarding your toe. I've broken my little one a few times, and the big one on my right foot once. The pain seems disproportionate given the size of the digit.<br /><br />Having had to use a clutch with a fractured foot this past September and October, i learned to put more of my weight on the part that wasn't broken. Try focusing more of the ball of your foot on the clutch and put more leg into it. Keep the toe as immovable as possible when you clutch, and see how that goes. For bumpy roads, do not rest your foot on the floor, but keep it suspended, so when you jostle around, it can move freely without bumping. Oh, and one more thing, elevate it as often as you can. It hurts less. Paracetamol is okay to use for pain, but don't use analgesics, as the inflammation that goes with broken bones helps them to heal.<br /><br />A wedding in Angola sounds like a splendid idea--if we all arrive, can you guarantee our safe passage through customs on the way home? Well, not so sure that all of us will be leaving, given some of the scenarios you paint.<br /><br />Oh, and for the record, i don't believe i emasculate men so much as wear some of them out. The ones who think their jewels much bigger than they really are--you know, the all sizzle no steak sort. megan blogshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04555646904983619596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-24177244552782241442013-01-10T20:04:07.634+01:002013-01-10T20:04:07.634+01:00Sir Owl!
Droll, Sir! Regarding wedding attire, I...Sir Owl!<br /><br />Droll, Sir! Regarding wedding attire, I wanted to wear a kilt with the sporran on the inside just to frighten any curious natives but I suppose a dead badger would do if you have one to spare.<br /><br />Barbee,<br /><br />Thanks, quite by chance I appear to have followed your doctor's advice. Great minds and all that!<br /><br />Ninja San,<br /><br />I suppose I had better marry the girl then. It would be a shame to lose out on a good party. It would also give me the opportunity to practive manting with the bridesmaids and waitresses.<br /><br />Honey badger, yes! Mind you I am not putting one of them up my kilt or I'll have nothing left to mant with.<br /><br />Earl Gray,<br /><br />So you are saying that falling over in the pooh, having oily mechanics protect their overalls from your car, getting caught all the time by the Lady in the Passing Car doing something beastly with your dog's bum, flooding your house out and latterly hurling red hot tea bags around a Welsh tea room is MUNDANE?<br /><br />The manner in which I broke my toe was mundane, I just stubbed it on a corner. You, however, have to break YOUR toe by doing a para roll out of a window. Bloody drama queen!Hippohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09468795398813061897noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-56211801782572484482013-01-10T19:29:42.437+01:002013-01-10T19:29:42.437+01:00Thanks for that blogger review...there are a few n...Thanks for that blogger review...there are a few new names to chase up and more stories to read....such is the joy of blog life I guess...<br />Most of us here are bored,isolated,lonely,middle aged,in need of a challenge,interested,like minded,inquisitive,( delete as appropriate)<br />So a few minutes catching up with your Angola traumas is often a welcomed change from the humdrum,bad new days, we are all so used to.<br />Especially as it written with so much humour and skill....<br /><br />Re the toe...I know how you feel. I fell out of the front room window a year or so ago ( trying to save a baby rabbit) and broke my toe<br />Fucking painful<br />Xxx<br />Chin chin old bean xJohn Going Gentlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14958171262765033946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-16966216381792736192013-01-10T17:21:39.794+01:002013-01-10T17:21:39.794+01:00That sounds like the best wedding ever! I would t...That sounds like the best wedding ever! I would try to keep my urn-dust comments to a minimum and focus on more tasteful things, such as baboon poo-throwing.<br /><br />As you note, that girl in red looks quite satisfied; perhaps investigating mant-committing might be ultimately beneficial?<br /><br />I hope your toe is soon mended and that the contractors have a close and personal encounter with a mob of angry honey badgers.Sarcastic Ninjahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17827746254450339433noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-80670518545787610782013-01-10T17:13:24.323+01:002013-01-10T17:13:24.323+01:00My doctor says there isn't much one can do for...My doctor says there isn't much one can do for a broken toe. He just tapes it well to the toe next to it and says to give it time. Good luck.Barbee'https://www.blogger.com/profile/11316077390373348067noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-42417595101910694142013-01-10T16:04:47.381+01:002013-01-10T16:04:47.381+01:00I thought it was only your well that was bored Sir...I thought it was only your well that was bored Sir?<br /><br />[Sorry.]<br /><br />Now then, a wedding stuffed full of colonial and African elements - if I couldn't get a front page with that then maybe it's time I hang up my badger-poking spoon and take up spaghetti-farming.<br /><br />With regards to your contractor, have you considered hog-tying him and then leaving him in a room alone with the be-loved for a short discussion? He doesn't actually <i>need</i> functioning testicles to do building work ...The Owl Woodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11484484539144369129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-54616255799386434482013-01-10T14:44:08.034+01:002013-01-10T14:44:08.034+01:00mai pen rai, my dear friend!mai pen rai, my dear friend!Hippohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09468795398813061897noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-30539485088693977372013-01-10T14:13:54.473+01:002013-01-10T14:13:54.473+01:00Yes, I see you have a bit of devil's work too,...Yes, I see you have a bit of devil's work too, but instead of dusting you write amusingly about a Fifth Columnist and some other lesser known bloggers.<br /><br />I rather like this new nomenclature, although the only thing I am trying to undermine at the moment is DHL, they of undelivered bulls, but deliverer of much b.s. Apparentky according to today's bulletin, it will be another ten days, or something. I'm wildly losing interest.<br /><br />So I can understand your boredom and irritation, although in the latter you have endured a few months more. Well twelve. But unlike you, I am not assuaging the pain with alcoholic infusions. Oh no. Just polishing my halo, whilst I dust urns, and when/if it arrives, a bronze bull.columnisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03764365428633038329noreply@blogger.com