tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post6578716218638679771..comments2024-03-27T22:53:00.759+01:00Comments on A Hippo On the Lawn: Bleeding BeastiesHippohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09468795398813061897noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-51417106125536499242012-12-06T10:35:13.091+01:002012-12-06T10:35:13.091+01:00Good God, I thought Ticks were bad enough; you'...Good God, I thought Ticks were bad enough; you've almost put me off my kedgeree.Cro Magnonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06840670227576695352noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-7843667918072680012012-12-05T14:01:33.721+01:002012-12-05T14:01:33.721+01:00Megan,
I suggest you ask Mr G Bananas to arrange ...Megan,<br /><br />I suggest you ask Mr G Bananas to arrange a Lady's Lady for you. His staff are superbly trained in matters of personal hygeine and nit picking. Might be a few hairs to hoik out of the plug hole after bath time though.<br /><br />GB,<br /><br />The maid is outstanding when it comes to lancing boils. She knows all about the advantages of taking the patient unawares so uses a blow pipe at twenty paces.Hippohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09468795398813061897noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-56041990708859607642012-12-05T07:59:10.913+01:002012-12-05T07:59:10.913+01:00That maid of yours deserves a bonus for her quick ...That maid of yours deserves a bonus for her quick diagnosis and competent surgery. I bet she's good at lancing boils too. Gorilla Bananashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13044093013423635830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-28754938826071759342012-12-04T18:24:30.369+01:002012-12-04T18:24:30.369+01:00My cousin and i often took our dogs to the beach f...My cousin and i often took our dogs to the beach for a good run and swim. After one such jaunt with her dog, she ended up with a houseful of sand fleas, and we cleaned the house from top to bottom as well as shampooing the dog with flea and tick shampoo.<br /><br />After my dad's transfer, we moved to a new location far away from my cousin's, and i took my dog for runs on the beach there and on a few occasions, in runs through the woods. After one of these latter excursions, she decided to sleep with me as a thank you, and i awoke the next morning to find 14 ticks in the bed and on me.<br /><br />That started me on my habit, which is now second nature that after a beach trip i shower immediately upon returning home (and when i had a dog, washing the dog immediately upon our return before my shower). After a walk in the woods, i perform a search all over me for ticks.<br /><br />The kitties are apt to get a few ticks, and i run my hands over their fur as they come in from outside to try and get them off of them before they have chance to burrow. I use a small curry comb that makes it easy to remove the ticks whilst they're still ambling and looking for a good spot. In early autumn, i pinched one off one of the cats, burned the tick, and found later in the evening that another made his way under my clothing and was settling in for a good meal. Little bugger was hard to remove but i'm not interested in any fever or Lyme disease, so after some digging, i successfully excised him. I've still got a slight scar from that one.<br /><br />Good on you for setting such a great example for Alex. megan blogshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04555646904983619596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-10408914435193062942012-12-04T13:16:26.982+01:002012-12-04T13:16:26.982+01:00John,
I could always adopt you I suppose. I thin...John,<br /><br />I could always adopt you I suppose. I think Dominic and Alex would love to have an older (much older) brother like you!<br /><br />Sir Pud,<br /><br />I had heard of Chiggers but until now had never encountered them so I looked them up on the webleysite. I can see why they dig them out fast; they can make a real mess of a set of toes if left unattended.<br /><br />Ursula,<br /><br />“My bedside manners are atrocious. Sorry about that. Will give you a hero's welcome. What would you like? Grapes?”<br /><br />I am not interested in your bedSIDE manner, I am intrigued by your IN-The-Bed manner. Stuff your grapes, I need a good shag to take my mind off my poorly toe. You can wear your wellies in bed if you are that worried.<br /><br />This bulimic anorexic sister of yours. Is she the one who likes to dress light and can cook? When are you going to send me her CV and photo? I am sorry. I just had to catch myself there. A bulimic anorexic COOK? Still, if she is scantily clad, I am interested.<br /><br />Sir Owl of the Wood,<br /><br />Nice place, Basingstoke. I am sure my family and I could wander through Sainsbury’s barefoot with gay abandon. I could follow your example and run naked with the dogs over the fields at night, rolling myself in cow pats without fear of any parasite except Inland Revenue who would leech, one way or another, 70% of my income.<br /><br />Ninja San,<br /><br />Sadly, I am not a stranger to ‘Field Surgery’ and neither is my older son, Dominic, who had to carve an embedded tree stump (OK, twig) out of me that had gone septic, again only with the aid of fags and whisky. I once had my head stitched closed on HMS Active with only a bottle of champagne as anesthetic as I was keen to get back to the wardroom and couldn’t be doing with all this faffing around for a mere gash requiring only fourteen stitches. I had two fingers sliced off in the jungles of Central America, popped them in my shirt pocket and, arriving a day later at a medical post run by US Peace Corps volunteers and having been asked by the very attractive nurse if there was anything she could do for me while we waited for the doctor I said, ‘Could you be a dear, ring my secretary and cancel my piano recital?’ The most painful, apart from being burnt in Northern Ireland, was when I had such a good kicking the eyebrow of my right eye was hanging down. ‘It’s like a tongue, Man,’ said my foreman. ‘Yeah, he played football with your head’ said my engineer. The Angolan who stitched me up in his front room that time had no compassion whatsoever.<br />Hippohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09468795398813061897noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-42193574612845821522012-12-04T11:22:35.027+01:002012-12-04T11:22:35.027+01:00I would ask what happens if it goes untreated and ...I would ask what happens if it goes untreated and the eggs hatch, but I think that I really don't want to know. Good job getting through hack-n-slash surgery with but a cigarette and Scotch.Sarcastic Ninjahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17827746254450339433noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-5764410331385760322012-12-04T08:22:08.732+01:002012-12-04T08:22:08.732+01:00Move the whole family to Basingstoke. Message ends...Move the whole family to Basingstoke. Message ends.The Owl Woodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11484484539144369129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-88273730759479613842012-12-04T06:15:49.574+01:002012-12-04T06:15:49.574+01:00Remind me to never visit you, or at least pack my ...Remind me to never visit you, or at least pack my Wellies.<br /><br />As father/son bonding goes this is a story you'll be able to dine out on when Dominic and Alex have made you a grandfather with gangrene.<br /><br />Tragedy. I wrote this to you earlier though not sent yet: You do know, don't you, that you should never ask anyone with the faintest hint of German blood in their veins: How are you? "Fine, thank you" will not do. Instead you'll get the unvarnished truth. At length. Germans are like that. Most take everything at face value.<br /><br />Anyway, truth is that the only living thing I was happy to carry inside me was my son. Many years beforehand, being of the squeamish kind, I nearly disembowelled myself when there was suspicion I might have a tapeworm. Moi? Tapeworm? Eating me up? No wonder I was hungry all the time. I'd have gladly passed it to my sister Claudia since she had just started on that misguided route of anorexia/bulimia - same coin, different sides.<br /><br />Anyway, that creature I harboured in my innards came out head first and it was disgusting. Although I was already in my early twenties I shouted for my mother. She having grown up during rationing had little sympathy: "Count yourself lucky. Head out first". Thank heavens for small mercies.<br /><br />Mind you, and Megan will point this out to you: Why do you let a maid loose with a razor blade?<br /><br />Tom, long established: My bedside manners are atrocious. Sorry about that. Will give you a hero's welcome. What would you like? Grapes?<br /><br />U<br /><br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-10357538863132429142012-12-04T01:15:32.337+01:002012-12-04T01:15:32.337+01:00Bicho de Porco? Previously I thought that was a re...Bicho de Porco? Previously I thought that was a resort on Spain's Costa Blanca. Pleased we don't have them in Blighty where we rarely have to think about nasty parasitical creatures - apart from Starbucks, Google and Piers Morgan.Yorkshire Puddinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06019673884543913089noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512022050229968490.post-11737750292589635842012-12-03T23:43:04.505+01:002012-12-03T23:43:04.505+01:00TOM
if I was a youngster
I would Love you as my da...TOM<br />if I was a youngster<br />I would Love you as my dad<br />(AND I mean that)<br />xJohn Going Gentlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14958171262765033946noreply@blogger.com